And this is why I wish she was still here.

I Made the Wrong Choice

The music is loud, there's a red cup in everybody's hand, and the house is packed... I guess that's the standard definition of a "good party." I came here with one guy, but I haven't seen him since we walked in the door. I just feel... pulled toward another. This is the guy I'm attracted to, this is the guy I want to be with. I don't know his name and I never see his face, but I just... I just know. I can see my date's head across the room watching me intently, but I just turn my body and occupy myself with something else, someone else. He'll be fine. It's a party.

I'm outside- it's a beautiful afternoon, and I am turning the corner to go to my car. I'm by myself; I haven't seen my date in hours, and even though I know there's another guy, I don't see him either. As I'm walking across the lawn and down the driveway, I stop short. There's this... this feeling. This really intense, heavy, pressure in the middle of my chest. Suddenly I am overcome with this genuine, absolute certainty. The certainty that I have made a mistake. Something is wrong. I have to find him, I have to explain. He has to know. I made the wrong choice.

I immediately turned around and walked toward the backyard to find him. My date... I needed to talk to him. I see him in the midst of a large group of friends, dancing with three girls. He is smiling, laughing, being his usual, gregarious self. Everybody loves him, he makes people smile. As I get closer, I see his friends eyeing me, but I ignore them. "Hey. Can I talk to you for a second?" "Nah, I'm busy." And he turns his back to me and keeps dancing. The closest girl to me tosses her hair back over her shoulder as she looks me, a momentary look of pity on her face. The friends give me that "damn, shawty" look- you know the one. The one where people are embarrassed for you, but not so much that they don't appreciate and approve of the fact that you just got played. "Please, just for a second. I have something to tell you." he looks at me for the briefest of seconds and sighs. "Fine. Just let me finish here." I continue to stand on the sidelines of their mini party, watching while the girls laugh and dance; watching while the friends studiously ignore me and simultaneously egg him on. The song finally ends, and he walks towards me like he'd rather be doing anything else.

"Listen, I'm sorry. I know that how I have treated you today is wrong. We came here together, and I haven't said a word to you since we walked in the door. I know you've seen me with him, I know I have hurt you. I'm so sorry. I made a mistake. He's not the one I want, he's not the one I love. I made the wrong choice. Please can I have another chance?" The entire time I am speaking, he is looking directly into my eyes, absorbing every word that I am saying. He didn't want to talk to me, but he can't bring himself to walk away either. When I ask the question, he opens his mouth and...

I wake up.

I'm not crying, but I feel close to tears. The room is dark, it must be about 4 or 5 in the morning. Stone is sleeping at the foot of the bed- completely oblivious to my situation. Just like in my dream, there's this... this weight on my chest, this heaviness on my being. It's like... is this heartache? Is this what people mean when they write about heartache in love songs and sappy movies? I don't think I have ever felt this before. Sure, I've been in love, and ABSOLUTELY I have cried myself to death over the end of a relationship. But I have never felt this... this FEELING. Like I made the wrong choice. I haven't done anything wrong, I don't think I have hurt him- well, that's not true. I think I did hurt him, but that was a long time ago, and we've talked through all that. But it's like.... hmm... if you watch Deal or No Deal, you know the part at the very end where there are only two cases left, and Howie gives the contestant the choice to ride out with their original case or switch with the one that's on the stage with the model. The contestant decides to keep her case, and when they open the one on the stage, it has the million dollars. And hers has the penny. One measly penny. One cent. And she had the choice to switch that would've given her one million dollars. Of course there was no way she could have known. No way she could have realized that all she had to do was make a different choice, and she would have her dream. Well, that's how I feel... I made the wrong choice.

So now what do I do? Because the choice is no longer mine alone. I need another chance. I need him to ask me the same question that he asked me a long time ago- if you didn't have him, would you want to be with me? And I need to ask him the same question he asked me- if he decided that he really did want to be with me, would I have him? Because the answer to my question is yes. I said no before, I said it was too late. But I was wrong. I couldn't have been more wrong. There are some less than ideal circumstances- no, there is ONE less than ideal circumstance. But it is what it is, and it doesn't have to matter. I made the wrong choice once. So... can I have another chance?

Once again I have ripped somebody off for this, but it was THE MOST entertaining thing I have seen all week- which is saying alot considering how much television I watch! The best parts were about cross-dressing Mayor Giuliani, Barack Steve Obama, and any and ALL digs at Senator McCain. LOOOOOOOVE this man!

• Beyoncé
• New Music

Honesty is the Key

So this is where I get crunked up about being nominated for this shiny little award (see above), otherwise known as the Honest Blogger Award. I used to be honest, hell I used to tell yall everything. But since niggas started finding me on the web and throwing vases at my shit (I'll bust the windows out yo' carrrrrrrr!), I had to dial it back a bit. Well, at any rate, the lovely La is responsible for this nomination, so..... damn
thank you. I would post a picture of her (according to the optional portion of the rules), but then we would no longer be friends and Bob would whip my ass, so.... alas, here we are.

First I'll tell some of my business, then we'll pass the torch to someone else.

1. You think I'm kidding, but I'm not. Set it up, and I'm in.

2. Walking 2 miles in 36 hours let me know that I am far from being the loser I was starting to think I was. Now if I could just make that feeling last...

3. I want to quit my job more than anything in the world, but have ABSOLUTELY no means to make that happen.

4. I may or may not be a cornball. Case in point? I left a lipstick message on a boy's mirror and kissed it. **sigh** I'm sooooooooo far gone.


**this has stopped being fun because now I just feel silly... we're done here**

I have really been slacking on this blog joint lately, so the idea of choosing seven people to receive this illustrious award is a bit mind-bending. Plus La stole at least two of my choices (yes, we are TOTALLY wrong for hoping for the expose), so here are my nominations:

Jarrod... that is if he is even still blogging. Something about his blog outliving its usefulness and all that... so if you're still here, tag, you're it.

Adei because she's pure comedy and besides, I keep hoping for more scoop from her pharmacy days :)

I got nothing else... this was strictly out of obligation (OMG, is THIS what marriage feels like?)

Here are the rules:
1. When you receive the prize you must write a post showing it, together with the name of who has given it to you, and link them back
2. Choose a minimum of 7 blogs (or even more) that you find brilliant in their content or design.
3. Show their names and links and leave them a comment informing they were prized with ‘honest weblog’
4. Show a picture of those who awarded you and those you give the prize (optional).
5. And then we pass it on!

October 4-5, 2008

**thump thud thump thud**

That sound you hear is the sound of me hop-hobble-crawling over to the couch in order to post these pictures. This past weekend was the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer... YAYYYYY!!!!!! Thank you to all of you who contributed to such a worthy cause (and if you haven't, the website will be available for donations for 28 more days!!). After two days of walking across every available corner of Manhattan, Brooklyn, and Randalls Island, I am finally home. And to be honest, I am in paaaaaaaaain :( But it was a WONDERFUL experience. Five thousand women and men walking in tandem to help eradicate a disease that affects an alarming number of people every year. Of 39 miles, I was able to finish 29 with no training shut up- I've been busy!), so I am very very proud :) Okay, okay... enuogh of all that. Here are some pics of the road.


Mile 4- still fresh and bouncy :)


Kelly and me on day 1 at mile 9


Here I am on day 1 at mile lucky number 13 :) I was still smiling, as you can see, so all was well.


We made it to the half way point on day 1... that smile is starting to slip a bit, LOL


We made it to the Brooklyn Bridge... YAY!!!


Yeah... when we woke up Sunday morning it was POURING down rain and neither of us had ponchos. So the crew was handing out these thermal "blankets" which amounted to a square of tin foil which was supposed to... I guess keep us warm and dry?? Anyway- this is what it turned out to be.


I should probably know what this little piece of art is called, but I don't... it was outside The Plaza in front of Central Park.


THE FINISH LINE!!!!!!!!!!! We made it at last :)

This is probably mad old, and I am ridiculously behind in watching this, but...

Oh.

My.

God.

BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Weekend Recap

Man... My stomach is JUST starting to deflate from the ridiculously GINORMOUS brunch we had on Sunday! If you're in the Richmond area, definitely check out the Sunday champagne brunch at The Jefferson Hotel downtown. It was, in a word, WONDERFUL!! I was gonna post the menu here (and I still might), but Shortcake is hatin right now, so... Besides, just LOOKING at all that food we ate might send me into another food-induced coma!

**I decided to post it anyway... it brings back such tasty memories**

Breakfast Items
Various Poached Egg Specialties
Eggs Jefferson
Sausage
Bacon
Three Cheese Grits
Hash Browns
Made-to-Order Omelets
Freshly Made Waffles with Fruit Toppings
French Toast
Assorted Danish and Pastry
Fresh Seasonal Fruit

Luncheon Items
Poultry, Meat and Seafood Entrees with seasonal accompaniments
Bountiful Seafood Display with Smoked Salmon, Mussels, Scallops, Poached Shrimp and Oysters on the Half Shell
Chef's Weekly Choice of Carving Station featuring Roasted Prime Rib, Beef Tenderloin, Turkey, Lamb or Glazed Ham
Seasonal Pasta
Soup of the Day
The Jefferson's Signature Spoonbread
Imported and Domestic Cheese Display
Seasonal Salads
Housemade Charcuterie including Pates and Terrines

Desserts
Chocolate Truffle Torte
Variety of Cheese Cakes
Key Lime Pie
Citrus Tarts
Cannoli
Toasted Almond Torte
Pecan Bourbon Torte
Sundae Station with Chef's Choice of Bananas Foster, Cherries Jubilee, Stuffed Crepes or Waffle Cones and Ice Cream

The best part was that every time you took a sip of your champagne, the server was there to refill your glass! So as if the Patron and pineapple juice extravaganza the night before wasn't enough, now I'm HIGH on champagne too? **sigh** We sooooooo love it there.

I was also gonna go into this long detailed recap of what we did the whole weekend, but I figured nobody really cares. Here are the highlights: Friday night we went to the Martini Kitchen for drinks. Definitely need to take a bulldozer to that place and try again. Boooooo. Saturday we went to Short Pump mall and then the step show that night. Lessons learned from that experience? I am too old for the collegiate step show experience. I can only hear so many bars of "Atomic Dog" before I'm reaching for a sharp implement and all those children singing and dancing to songs I've never heard before just make me tired. But we did win first place (yay HT '07!!), so it was worth my $10. Like I said, Sunday was brunch. That morning Jigga drove up (get it? As in MY NIGGA!!!!! Never mind, inside joke) to eat with us. **sigh** He soooooo makes my heart sing. Anyway... brunch, sleep, football, 60 Minutes, and **ahem** other stuff. The end. Happy 31st birthday to me :)

So dears... here are some pictures from my birthday celebration this past weekend. I went back to VCU to hang out with my linesisters for our tenth anniversary and then had the most FAAAAAAABULOUS champagne brunch on Sunday with them and a friend. Shout out to the right side of the table and the lucky gentleman in the middle :)

From Airport Security

Happy birthday to me **sniffle** happy birthday to me **sniffle** happy birthday to Monique

**sigh**

Happy birthdaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy

Toooooooo

Meeeeeeeeeeeee

**sniffle**

This is the pure HILARITY that I woke up to this morning!!

Anna-Lula is the New FAB!!!

OOOOOOOOOOH!!!!! Look at me! Look at me! I got an Anna-Lula original for my very berry own :)


**sigh of contentment**

Is it December yet? Cause I am sooooo ready to curl up in front of the fireplace with my new blanket and a good book... wait... I don't have a fireplace. **shrug** Ah well- whatevs. I gots me a new blanket!

**skipping off to turn the air conditioner down to 50 so I can wrap myself up**

**YAWN**

Lord.

Have.

Mercy.

So yeah, I am a proud card-carrying member of the Democratic party. And hell yeah, I am a very vocal, downright obnoxious supporter of Senator Barack Obama. But I mean, really.

That was, quite possibly, the WORST speech I have ever heard. In my life. Yep, that would be including the intention speech of the girl who ran for SCA Secretary when I was in third grade.

JESUS!!!!!!

I kept hoping someone would come along and punch me in the face, thereby killing me and preventing me from spending the rest of this evening in a hell created by Governor Sarah Palin- sorry, Sarah Plain and Tall. Now if it wasn't apparent to you all at home why I was calling her that before, it should soooooo be clear to you now. Aren't you supposed to be such an effective and inspiring speaker that you cannot even get through a sentence without being interrupted by the screams and chants of your rapt audience? Not this gal... she stopped at the end of every third sentence, hoping fervently that someone, ANYONE would clap their hands. I'm sorry Wolf Blitzer, she "hit it out of the park?" This speech proves why "she is such a beloved public official?" Chile, please! You can't possibly be serious! Why am I the only one who feels like this speech tanked? Is it because I support Obama-Biden? Is it because I am Black? Or is it just because I have two eyes and two ears and I actually saw and heard this travesty? All the commentators are raving about it... all the pundits are saying what a clinch performance this was and how Sarah Palin delivered past everyones' expectations. Errr???

This broad got up to that podium and basically decided that she wanted to throw darts at Barack Obama. Wait, I take that back. She bored us to tears with the introduction of her family and the long, drawn out story of her husband and what a great standup guy he is, and THEN she started with the darts. Community organizer doesn't compare to small town mayor? Estabished United States Senator doesn't compare to flash in the pan governor of the darkest, coldest state in the union? CHILE, PLEASE!!!!!! I didn't hear NOT ONE THING that- if I were an undecided voter- would've persuaded me to vote McCain-Palin. Not one thing. And surely those quick flashes of the one Black man, one Black woman, and one Latino woman in the crowd didn't really do it for me either. Maybe I was supposed to be inspired by this country music song "Raisin McCain?"

**puzzled look**

I dunno. But I really am just way too confused. I can be honest with you and say that I wasn't familiar with Joe Biden before he was selected as Barack Obama's running mate- I haven't always been too interested in our beloved political machine. But the minute he started speaking in Denver last week, I was persuaded. And when he finished, I was a supporter. He clearly stated his background, he emphasized his strong points, he elucidated how he planned to support Senator Obama after they were elected, hell... he just MADE SENSE!!!! No age jokes about McCain, no jabs at how he left his first wife and hooked up with the second one, then subsequently broke her arm for looking too long at some Black man on the campaign trail (kidding... sometimes I go too far!)... just a very clear and concise statement of his objectives and how he (and his ticket mate) plan to achieve those goals. What does Sarah Palin do? She makes some lame ass jokes about being a soccer mom and basically holds up a sign that says "I don't know what to say, please don't vote for me."

And this family of hers.... did she REALLY have her pregnant teenaged daughter trot her boyfriend out on stage at the end of her speech... better yet, have him to make sure he was holding Bristol's hand the whole time just so we could BE SURE to take them seriously as a couple? Does anyone else find that to be inapporpriate? If I am running for Vice President of the United States, the LAST thing in the world I feel like championing is my fast ass daughter's ill-adivsed teenaged love affair. They ain't married yet. Hell does preggo even have a ring? Then why the FUCK is that little wide-eyed boy on stage at the Repulican National Convention holding on to his girlfriend's hand, dreaming of a new life in the slick big city of Washington Deeeeeee-Seeeee (YEEHAW!!!).

This speech was a joke. It was a joke and it was an insult to me as an American voter. I will not be persuaded to vote for you just because you have the visual of an "all American family." No thank you, bitter white lady. I'll put my money on the tall, handsome Black man with the genius, elegant wife and the staggeringly bright and beautiful young ladies. Yes, please, I'll have Senator Obama for President.

Labor Day

Back on the block after a very very good weekend in the 757. I have a new favorite television show (Weeds), the memory of some FANTASTIC Mexican food from Moe's Southwest Grill, a blunt MAC lipstick, and.... yeah, good times were had by all.

The first thing I did when I got home was rip open the box containing THOSE little beauties (look down there.... down there!) and then try to figure out where I could wear them :) It turned out to be PetSmart and Applebees, but whatever... I was getting the message out!

Now I am sitting in my second home far left cushion of my couch watching hurricane coverage on CNN and trying soooooo desperately not to laugh at Bristol Lynn Spears Palin with her illegitimate baby and her Sarah Plain and Tall mother. **shaking my head in dismay** What are they doing?????? Can you really be qualified to be Vice President of these United States if all you ever really did with your life was marry a dog racer, be the mayor of some ice-encrusted town in Far Meltaway, Alaska, and push five children out of her hooch?

**pause**

That broad gave birth to FIVE children! One of whom, I firmly believe is the illegitimate child of her 17-year-old daughter that she passed off as her own to protect their 1934 values.

**jumping up and down in protest**

I know he's all "let's respect their privacy as a family" and "we will love and support the Palin family as they carry on the business of a normal American family," but I am pretty sure that when Old Man McCain got hold of this piece of information, he probably wanted to ram the coat hanger up there himself (that was for you, Gorilla Paws... you're the only one who will not find that INEXCUSABLY offensive). Ah well.... now if they could just hook Sarah Plain and Tall up with a suitable stylist and get rid of that Flashdance hair and Little House on the Prairie wardrobe, maybe we could all start to take her just a wee bit more seriously. I'm sayin... governor of Alaska? For less than two years? What sorts of experience did that put under her belt... how to skin a seal in less than sixty seconds with only an icicle and a dream? How to find oil by using the noses of your husband's racing dogs and a compass? Or maybe how to get all that hair to stand up on its own using only the leftover seal blubber and whale bones from last week's kill?

**ducking from all the Republican flag wavers**

The red candidates blow. Hard.

That is all.

This is my newest way to BARACK THE VOTE... I saw them on Wendy and couldn't resist buying myself a pair (I wish they'd had them in red too!). I'm off to showboat my allegiance....

If you want to get a pair for yourself or someone you love, check them out at www.flopyourvote.com

Sol-Angel and the Hadley Street Dreams

Okay, so this is where we decide whether or not we love Sol-Angel and the Hadley Street Dreams," otherwise known as Solange Knowles' thirteen track soliloquy on how she is not her sister. Well.... DUHHHHH!!!!! The way I figure it, the lady dost protest too much. Honestly, I love the album. **peeking around to see I anyone caught that on tape** I love every single song on it. But what I don't so much love is how every time I start bobbing my head to the beat or closing my eyes to appreciate the surprising depth of her sound, she tosses in some not-so-subtle reference to Beyonce. And when she's not mentioning my beloved Bey, she's shouting out some unbelievably coonish shit like "I promise I'm not high!"

**blinkblinkblink**

Err?

Come on, Solange. Perhaps if YOU stopped comparing yourself to your older, established, quite talented sister, perhaps everyone else would too! There's plenty of room for both of you- especially since NOTHING about this album reminds me AT ALL of anything Beyonce ever wrote and/or sang. So chill, my sister.... do your thing.

Besides, who can hate on an album that has such priceless inside cover art? There's a picture of Solange standing between two white boards that read "I will not have a famous family" and "I will not get pregnant at 17" written over and over again. LMFAO!!!!!! Love in a CD case :) And the best part OF ALL... that bad boy was only $6.98!!! Yes ma'am and/or sir: as in six dollars and ninety eight cents. I can't figure out of that is Target trying to play her on the low and discounting her shit before it's even settling on the shelf good or.... Well, that's pretty much the only scenario I arrived at. **sigh** Ah well. Get that money, Solo.

How YOU Doin?

If you know me, you know my passion for messy, loud, inappropriately RIDICULOUS foolishness. And hence, the newest, MOST FAVORITE addition to my wardrobe:

Aw'riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!!!!!!!!!

Then... and Now

"I want you. Real talk. Like we used to back in the day."

Back in the day.
**Disclaimer: creative license has been invoked on some of the dialogue because I am old as hell and can't be expected to remember every single word of every conversation I had back then.**

I am looking at him across the table, trying to keep my knees from trembling. What the fuck? I KNOWWWWW that I am not trippin over this date. It's a date. A DATE. Like any other date. But wait, I don't go on dates. Maybe that's why I'm trippin. Yeah, yeah, that's it. Surely it's not the fact that he keeps looking at me like he can see right through me. Nah, couldn't be. And it surely isn't because he keeps licking his lips which ordinarily would make me laugh at the pure wackness of it all, but on him, it just makes me wonder what those lips taste like. Nah, never that. Well, whatever the reason is, this boy has me pressing my knees together under the table to keep them from shaking the silverware. **sigh** This one is going to be tough.

Man, it's cold out here. Thank God I parked my car right in front of the door because otherwise I might freeze before I make it to those wonderfully heated seats. I wonder if.... Aww what the hell... "Hop in, let me give you a ride to your car. It's too cold out here for you to walk." Said the spider to the fly... **snicker** Who am I kidding? As much as I would like to think that I have the upper hand in this situation, I sooooo do not. This little boy has me wrapped around every single one of his fingers and the worst part of all is that he seems to know it. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. You know if you don't breathe, you'll like die or something, right? Good girl. Okay here's his car. Is he gonna get out without even trying to kiss me goodnight? That would suck MASSIVELY. "Well, this was fun. We should do it again some time." And he EXTENDS HIS HAND. Yeah, like we just closed some sort of high-powered business deal or something. Seriously? I just went out on a date for the first time in I can't even remember how long, and this child is going to shake my hand???? NO SIR. I simply will not go out like that. "You know, life is a gamble. You really should take some chances." He cocked his head to the side like he was regarding some sort of creature that just landed from outer space. "Worrrrd? Well okay." And he leans in.

And then I died.

Yep, right there in the front seat of my truck in the parking lot of my favorite restaurant in the icy middle of November. I died.

That was, quite possibly, the best kiss I have ever had IN MY LIFE. Better than my first kiss (not even a comparison). Better than the first kiss from The Ex (and that was a good one). This kiss was the kind that makes you stop in the middle and say "wait wait wait... hold on a minute" just so you can catch your breath. The kind of kiss that you pull away from and have to check your wallet to remember your name. Yeah, that's right. The name you've had since you were- oh I don't know- BORN. That was how this boy kissed me. Now I'm sitting here looking at him looking at me, trying to figure out how I can get him out of my car before my jeans unzip themselves and he never calls me again after tonight. Now everybody knows that I am not the "one night stand" kind of girl. I'm the shy girl. I'm the girl who looks down at the floor when a man looks at her because she can't bear the idea of being the center of attention. But tonight, I would SOOOOOO turn into someone else. Tonight I would be the girl who turns the key in the ignition and drives home with the boy in her car while promising vaguely to bring him back to get his "some time tomorrow." Tonight I am the girl who- if this boy kisses me one more time- might just melt into a puddle on the floor.

You know the kind of kisses where he (or she- whatever you like!) grabs your face in both hands and kisses you until you forget where you are? Or when he puts his hand on your jawline right under your ear and kinda pulls you toward him while his fingers are in your hair and just.... HANDLES YOU? Yeah, well... that was that kiss. And every one after that for the next three hours. Because the boy that I wasn't even supposed to give my real phone number to just got me sprung, and I haven't even seen below the belt. He had me pinned to the driver's door of my truck at 1:00 in the morning for three hours and all we were doing was kissing. KISSING. This boy was kissing me like.... like he could see into my brain and knew exactly what I liked, exactly what it would take to get me where he wanted me.

And now it's now. We've done some things and seen some people and been some places. But all I really want to say to him is "I want you. Real talk. Like we used to do it back in the day."

Solange

Although I am a tad bit ashamed to admit this, I am looking forward to Solange's new album at the end of the month. But when I saw this video on Media Takeout, I positively ROARED with laughter!!! Enjoy..

"I'm pretty sure I have to get out of Texas immediately. Why? Because this 11 year old is in here talking about his shotgun! And as a nigga, I feel I should flee!"

That made my day. And, as such, I felt compelled to share it with you. Now... What else can I make a list about? *told yall this was a long day*

"Reasons Why You and Me Could Never Be Us"
*the 'you' is actually several different people, so take it where it applies to you*

1. Because.

2. Because I said so.

3. NO NIGGA!!! You canNOT convince me that I'm wrong!

4. Because you preach to me like you're John the Motherflippin Baptist! I go to church too, ya know? Me and JC happen to be on a first name basis. So... bite me. Besides, something about you and that illegitimate daughter you had with the jumpoff who's been after you since college (12 years ago) tends to cut into your moral credibility just a bit. I'm just sayin...

5. Because you sent me a text message that said "cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war.". **blink** Whaaa??? What the hell does that even mean? And... **throwing up my hands** THAT is precisely why.

6. Because you know me like I know me... sometimes. Okay, okay!! All the time! But whatever though.

7. Because I'm too damn tall for the fetal position.

8. Because I'm scared of your mama... but not too scared to make jokes about Miss Carrie Pearl and Uncle Herb and dem... Tell them elders to hook up my hot link, and I MIGHT lay off the jokes.

9. Because we just spent two (three?) hours texting questions back and forth just because we're both too damn competitive to give up and quit. But for real though... Can I?

10. Because I'm a cougar. And I'm sure to kill your young ass before it's all said and done.

11. Because I'm scared of your girlfriend- I think she could whip my ass even though she's 4'2" and 100 pounds. Remember that time she almost yoked the waitress because she wasn't moving fast enough with the sushi? **smh**

12. Because it's so much more fun this way! Yay! Buddakan/FourSeasons/Castle Spa New York/Charles'/Amy Ruth's/mimosas/Caliente Cab/margaritas/GUACAMOLE!!!!

"Things You Should Never Say to the Pharmacist"

Oh yall HAD to know that this was coming... I have worked 20 hours so far this weekend and it's been ages since one of my Pharmacy Follies. So, for your chuckling pleasure...

1. "Is there anybody back here??" (said while rapping on the counter with your knuckles and simultaneously looking STRAIGHT at me). My response to this? A quick look over both shoulders and then a very exaggerated raising of the eyebrows, followed by "guess not!"

2. "Yeah so... what can I take over the counter for gonorrhea?". Now those of you who love me and speak to me often have heard this story before. But for those of you who have not yet had the pleasure... My response to this was "umm... Vagisil."

3. "I know this bottle says no refills, but I've been without my medicine for 8 days and I need it today. You need to give me some until Monday.". Now mind you, today is Sunday. My response? "Well, kind ma'am, since you've been without them for 8 days, what constituted an emergency today?". Her comeback? "I don't need you to tell me about no Constitution! I just needs me my pills NOW!!!". Do you suppose I gave them to her?

4. "If I get pregnant because you wouldn't refill my birth control pills, it's gonna be YOUR fault!"

**blink**

No ma'am, it won't. But here are a variety of other factors you can blame: the shittiness of summer TV giving you nothing better to do than fuck; your super virile sex partner; your dumb ass GYN who only gave you one refill on a script that you'll be using FOREVER; or... and I know this is a tough one... YOUR STUPID BEHIND for waiting through an entire week of sugar pills to call in a refill of a medication that you can CLEARLY read has NO REFILLS!!!

5. Any variety of "you're stupid/dumb/incompetent/ineffective/useless.". Excuse me, kind sir, but insulting me is the fastest way to end up with amoxicillin dust in your medicine bottle even though your profile clearly says "penicillin allergy.". I have one basic rule at work: disrespect me, and you get the EXACT OPPOSITE of what you want. So you can stand there screaming obscenities at me until my boyfriend Barack Obama moves into the White House, but your limp dick husband will still not be getting his happy pills.

The End Result of Boredom in the Workplace

It's Sunday. I'm bored. Shouldn't I be at church? Thank you for asking! Yes, I should. But alas, I am shackled to the pharmacy counter. So since I am here and you are there, thereby making it functionally impossible for us to have any real fun, I've decided to make some lists. Now, before you say it, yes, I know that this is not an original idea. And yes I am aware that by listing for the next several hours, it may appear that I am swinging from the nuts of the most prolific writer of our time (La, in case you didn't get the memo), but I assure you: I am not. Just because we eat the same food, buy the same shoes, parent the same dog, utter the same ascerebic witty euphemisms, and generally are the same person doesn't NECESSARILY mean that we are lovah lovahs... Yeah, YOU **jabbing at the blogosphere** you out there with the lesbianic daydreams of X+La=endless hours of"personal time"... You know who you are. Besides, Tayqwan would sooooo hit a woman. **looking both ways for the locs so I can HAUL ASS!!!!**

Anyway.... The following is my own personal list of "Things You Should NOT Have Time to Do if Your Piece is in Town." Allow me to explain. Boo time is for three things: eating, drinking, and... well you know. This is especially true if said boo lives more than 100 miles away and must only make previously scheduled appearances. So if you are doing any of the following things (or hell, anything other than the aforementioned three things), then you are in violation.

1. Think that it's okay to try that new thing you saw in Hustler... whatever it may be. For the same reason that men should not be allowed to watch porn, thou shalt not violate this rule. I promise that if it doesn't land you with a strange feeling in your rear and an inexplicable scar on your back in the emergency room, you'll be lucky. Just say no to the last 5 pages of Hustler.

2. Decide that you want to become celibate for "religious reasons." This is the quickest way to guarantee that you'll be celibate for... I don't know EVER. No man (or hell, woman) is gonna travel more than an hour to see their S.O. and there isn't ass of some sort involved (still waiting for you to Facebook that one, love!). So send up a quick word to Jesus and then trim up them pubes... He understands that the flesh is weak!

3. Spend the entire time debating politics. This generally isn't the best idea under ordinary circumstances, but most definitely not during a once-a-month fuckfest gentle week-long lovemaking session. So unless Barack and Michelle will be joining you in the jacuzzi for a foursome (in which case I say debate ON!), keep the CNN to a minimum.

4. Forget to tell your OTHER significant other that you're unavailable for the weekend. Because nothing ruins a good salad tossing lovemaking session more than the untimely arrival of your in-town piece in a trench coat... especially if he/she enters with their own key. So to avoid bloodshed and inevitable trips to the county jail, handle yo handle.

5. Forget to take off work. That happened to me once, so I might be just a touch bitter. I went to see my S.O. for 10 days and he was on call for five (36 hour shifts). Nice, right? Ah well.... Fill out your paperwork.

6. Be out of town. Yeah... about that. "Babe I'm at the door- how come you're not answering?". "The door? To my house? In ________ (insert your town here). Umm... I'm in _________ (insert anywhere else)!"

7. Invite them to a meeting of your cult. Now this should be self explanatory, but I've found that usually people who are in a cult are resistant to such a label. So if your "pastor" insists that he be called "Daddy" by the membership and you're living in your car but Daddy has a house on the hill, perhaps you should revisit your church affiliation. And by NO MEANS should you subject your boo to such foolishness. Surely he/she will take exception to the fact that they caught you blowing Daddy paying your tithes in the back yard. I'm just sayin...

8. Take them to a gay club... Unless yall have already established that you're into all that. Cause while I might be the most open-minded chick in the game, you best believe that there is nothing sexy to me about every man in the place knowing you by your middle name!

9. Call/text/IM/go to visit your friends. If you wanna hang with your friends, send your boo home. Everybody who's anybody in your life knows you're boo'd up for the weekend.

Because like I said, if you aint eating, drinking, or _________ (insert your choice of pet name for sex), then YOU'RE IN VIOLATION!!!!

**Sigh**

Okay, God... if you say so. There must be a reason. So I'll trust you.


Sometimes you're just so grateful that you can't even articulate what it is that you're grateful for. This song speaks to that better than I ever could...


And Marvin.... you better sing this song.

Only Wednesday

"Dear Monique... Blah blah blah. Baby shower... Blah blah blah... I know you don't know us, but we'd really love it if you could make it... Blah blah blah."

*blink*

Okay, so let me make sure that I understand. Maureen's sister's daughter is having a baby and hence a baby shower. In Ohio. And she wants me to come. Me- a person she has never laid eyes on in her natural born life, and didn't even know existed until probably six months ago. Interesting. But I think I'll pass.

And not for the reasons that yall cynical (and quite correct) readers of my blog would assume. Not because they're white, and not even because it's all the way in Ohio. Mainly because... Well, because... I don't know why. Probably for the same reason I'm passing on John's family reunion this weekend too... Because I (and don't laugh!) can't stand to be the center of attention. And at an event where it should be all about the baby and the mother, I don't want everyone wondering who the token Black girl is that nobody has ever even met. But the thing is, I feel badly. Maureen offered to pay for the ticket and everything, and for once I'm not just being my typical anti self. I just don't want to be on display, you understand? Now what to tell her...

In other news... I hate my friend's choice of a relationship partner and think the whole thing is so... Faux. But oh well- bygones.

Me and my box of Kleenex watched the tribute to Randy Pausch last night (of "The Last Lecture" acclaim)... We were joined digitally by none other than Mini herself. *sidebar* there's something so weird about watching the exact same television program as someone else who lives in a completely different time zone than you. Anyhoo... I almost can't bear the injustice of it all. 48 years old with three children under seven and a wife that you're really just getting to know. It's too much...

So I'm wondering about the appropriateness of murdering a family member by forcibly ejecting them from your moving vehicle. I mean if they could do it to mama on the train, then why can't I? Just things I be wonderin...

And last but not least, I am almost at my fundraising goal for the Avon Walk, but not quite. Yes, this is a shameless plug for donations. Please go to http://tinyurl.com/5c39a9 and help support a very worthy cause. Thanks to all you guys who have already answered the call :)

My Pinky Toe

This is how I have managed to sprinkle a little joy into my life... "Need Sunglasses" by OPI. I loooooove my fingers and toes :)

And after I got home from getting that done, I started this

I wish that I had something profound and deep to say, but I don't. Maybe next time.

Randomosity

For someone who has a career, friends, and is 30 years old (almost 31), I lead an unbelievably boring life. I'm looking back on some old blog posts and how I always had something interesting to say or a funny story to tell. Now- nothing. All my pleasure comes from reading about others peoples' lives and watching them on TV. **sigh** I've been spending a lot of time lately questioning my decisions and evaluating my relationships. Friendship blows. And I'm afraid I'm in a rut.

Humbug.

New Yorker

Yeaahhh... about that First Amendment foolishness...

My 13 Seconds

Do you see me? lol

Forgot to post this... actually I just checked out of the hospital where I had to seek treatment for my dislocated shoulder after I took this photograph :) There's more to the quote (obviously), but pain must only be endured in stages.

Can You Blog Every Two Weeks?

Flowers came yesterday... this time it was a "Farmer's Bouquet." No, I do not have any idea what that consists of, but it appears to be lots of greenery, some lilies, and some other pink stuff. I like them.

I can't believe that it is already Wednesday... the weekend went by so quickly that I can hardly believe that it happened. Friday morning I got up ridiculously early to drop Stone off at the kennel, and then headed southbound. It rained practically the entire way, but I made it in one piece. Deviled eggs with caviar, fried green tomatoes, shrimp and grits, and two very large and rather beautiful green cocktails later, I rolled (cause I surely couldn't walk after all that) over to the movies and saw Hancock with my favorite linesister. I liked the movie... alot. And I sooooo adore Will Smith. Best line of the entire flick? "That's 'cause I've been drinkin, BITCH!!" **sigh** Love. As I am typing this, I have come to the realization that I don't feel like typing anymore, and I am pretty sure you guys don't care about the details. The weekend (most of it) was pretty great.... I love seeing people that I haven't seen in a while, especially when they remind you of how special and important true friendship really is. So, late night text marathons and unintentional insults aside, it was a rather happy holiday.

I can't remember what I was reading the last time I talked about books, but whatever it was, I finished it. Was it "Lipstick Jungle?" No, I think I had finished that already. Ah well... now I'm back to Jodi Picoult and reading "The Tenth Circle." kinda slow start, not so sure how I feel about it yet.

Today I made a bit of a change... you likey?

Lala Land

Yay! One more day and I'm off to LaLa land!!!! Get it? La... La... Land???? Anywhoo- I'm going to meet La this weekend!!

**hear that?**

That was my baited breath, lol.

In 48 short hours I will be off to some undisclosed Eastern seaboard town to meet and greet the enigma that is La. Yippee! Lest you worry that I am geeked out over the potential of coming face to face with someone that has previously only been known to me via computer screen, pipe down. I'm really not that much of a loser. I am going south to have lunch with friends, shop with sisters, party with strangers, get a new tattoo, play with my favorite toddler, and....

Then meet La.

Yay!

It's gonna be soooooooo...

Freakin...

Ra.... Yeah, fun.

It really is FAR too early on a Sunday morning to have to pull out the *blank stare* however, it is 8:27 a.m. And I have already had to. So I'm driving to work looking for some gospel to listen to while. I sojourn to slavery, and the Jesse Jackson show catches my attention. A woman called from West Virginia- she sounded to be maybe 60-65 years old. Her comment was "so when Mr. Obama becomes our President, will that cause oppression of non-Black people?"

**blank stare**

As if this man is sitting on his campaign plane saying to himself, "damn! I sure can't wait to Pennsylvania so I can show those crackas who's runnin shit NOW!!"

Lord.

Another Boring Post

Hey bloggers! Is it possible that my life has become this boring? Should I really accept that there is nothing blog-worthy about my life anymore? Well.... I guess it is what it is. For right now, I am completely blocked. I have no idea what to write about- at least nothing that I can imagine anyone wanting to read. But here is what I have been up to...

I finished a few more books. "My Sister's Keeper" by Jodi Picoult was every bit as fantastic as everyone who has read it said it would be! I love love LOVED it!! I hated the mother, I thought the father was a bit sad, I adored Ana, and I was SICK when it was over. Great read. I read "Stone Cold" by David Baldacci... another political/murder thriller. Good beach read. I picked up "Lipstick Jungle" by Candace Bushnell because Mini said she was watching Season 1 on DVD and I figured, "hey! why not?" It was no Sec and the City, but I was a nice girly book... three grown women find love and success in the Big Apple. Bah.

Last Saturday I went to see Steve Harvey at the NJ PAC... I bought the tickets back in December and just recently realized that the show would be taped for his upcoming DVD... great. So like the Black people that we are, we walked in JUST as the show was starting and had to walk allllllll the way down to the front section. But Steve was HYSTERICAL... worth every penny and the stomach cramps that I got from laughing so hard. Afterwards we went to Buddakan(again)... I swear if I lived next door, I would soooooooo eat there every day! This time I had frog legs, lobster egg rolls, black cod, and passion fruit mousse parfait. **sigh** What a dream!!!! Anyway here's a pic...

Oh yeah and I forgot that I was supposed to post a picture of the flowers that came this week. Actually, I didn't forget, but when they came, they were all still buds, but now they are starting to open beautifully. So here are my laguna lilies.

And last but not least... yesterday I went to Dylans Candy Bar, otherwise known as HEAVEN!!!!!

Pink Saturday

Perfection. Sheer and complete perfection. The sun is shining, it's hot but not too hot, I'm off work, and I don't have ISH to do! Well... Besides sit in front of this Pathmark. But get this: in the first half hour I was here, I made almost $100! Location location LOCATION!!! I'm at the store in Edgewater, NJ where the wealthy people live; plus there's a Target, TJ Maxx, Party City, and Old Navy all in the same complex. This idea was sheer genius!! At this rate, I should be at my fundraising minimum ($1800)by the end of the weekend! Now if I could just walk those 40 miles :)

Dinnertime!!

I just got home from work and I am soooooo not hungry. But I took some chicken out Friday night and I really need to cook it before I have to toss it out. So this is what I came up with. Coconut curry chicken (compliments of a sauce I found at Whole Foods) with jasmine rice; okra, corn, and tomatoes; and for dessert, fresh pineapple and sangria (or champagne) sorbet (I did it, Mini! I cut it away from the cone just like you told me!). I was so exhausted when I finished (and pressed to watch Game 5), so I only tasted everything. But it was soooo good :)

Here Comes the Bride

Relax folks... Not me. I don't think I'll ever be that vision in white (and special thanks to yall out there in blogger land who have convinced me that I'm a circus freak for being 30 with no husband and/or kids!).

This is the story of another boring Saturday afternoon at your neighborhood pharmacy. I'm on the computer looking at the dinner menu at Legal Seafood for cheat weekend (five days good eating, two days not so great) when my technician says "does that lady have on a wedding dress?". I look around the corner and sure enough there is a full fledged bride (with her groom) in the first aid aisle with her train gathered in her hands and him frantically searching for the Benadryl. "Can I help you guys?". "My wife is having an allergic reaction to a bee sting! Where is the non drowsy Benadryl?"

Now because he truly did look panicked, I curbed my usual desire to be a smart ass. By definition, Benadryl makes you drowsy- that's what it does. But this man looked like he was about to weep with the sheer urgency of it all, so I just smiled calmly. "Where were you stung, ma'am?". "On the bottom of my foot."

**blink**

Putting aside yet another unnecessary question of how could you possibly get stung on the bottom of your foot with shoes on in a church, I ruled out true allergy (throat swelling, difficulty breathing), pointed them toward the Benadryl cream, and told her that should do the trick just fine. She looked mortified that her husband had her in a drugstore in her wedding haberdasherie for a simple bee sting, but oh well... They now have an interesting wedding story.

Week in Review

Week in review... this past week has been different. Last Friday I decided to really commit to losing weight. I completely cleaned out my refrigerator and then took a WONDERFUL trip to Whole Foods **sigh** LOVE WHOLE FOODS!! All these fresh fruits and vegetables and meat and... wait, stay away from the tomatoes, right? So lest you think that I'm not serious...



Last Saturday I was a vendor at the Morning Star Market. My church has a flea market-type deal where members who have businesses can sell their merchandise. I had a table to sell some of my breast cancer awareness merchandise to help raise money for the Avon Walk in October (yeah... SIDE EYE to those of you who still have not donated and KUDOS to those who have!). It was 983 degrees outside and it was not very well publicized, but I made $220!! YAY!! This was a picture of my table.
Oh yeah... a church acquaintance and her sister started a company making soy candles; it's called Yum Yum Candles. They were at the table next to me, so the entire time I kept looking oer at their stuff and trying to justify spending money while I was supposed to be making money! Anyway... the prices are very reasonable, and the candles smell FANTASTIC. Chocolate strawberry is my favorite I also bought violet lime, vanilla orchid, and delightful (a peachy scent). They also do room sprays. Support them!

And then... I bought myself a year-long delivery of flowers. So every two weeks I get a fresh batch of beautiful flowers delivered to my door :) I love flowers... first week is peonies.

Barack-o-Mania and More

Yes, yes... I got it from here first (thanks!!), but I am OVER THE MOON that these came today (I ordered three!)

So I won't belabor the point right now (even though Obama is my boyfriend!), but yall get the point: get out and BARACK THE VOTE!!!!!!!

So yesterday was my girlfriend's birthday (she turned 33) and we decided to go this new-ish spa in Queens. I saw it on the news a few weeks ago, but I was a little skeptical. The price and the location made me wonder about the cleanliness of it all, but I have NEVER been more happy to be wrong. New York Spa Castle was FANTASTIC. Here are some pictures from the website in case you are ever in the area.

The gold sauna room

One of the LED pools

Waterfall

The massage jets in the bade pool

**sigh** I can't stall anymore. It's after 2:00 in the morning. I have to write it. I told her I would. No... I asked her if I could. Now I'm stalling. But how do I even start something like this? It's not that I don't know what to say. It's that once I start, I'll never want to stop talking because when I do she'll really be gone. **sigh**

Wow... It's today. It looks beautiful outisde- not a cloud in the sky. Something about that seems all wrong somehow. It should be dark and cloudy with buckets of rain to acknowledge all the tears that will fall today. It should be windy and cold- I shouldn't be warm in my bed from the morning sun. I don't feel warm and sunny. I feel dead. But I'm not- she is. I have to get up because class starts promptly at 9:00 and Mrs. Ramaley so doesn't play that late shit. I really can't bear to put on this black dress and these stockings and these dreadfully uncomfortable heels. People will stare at me and mumble incoherently because they don't know what to say. Wait. What am I saying? They're going to stare anyway just because I'm there. But what else am I supposed to do? My presence isn't required until 11:30, so why not go to class? **sigh** I look so normal. When I look in the mirror, I can't see that vast empty space in my chest. I can't see the fear and the anger and the pain. Wait- there it is. It's in my eyes- like anyone will think to look for it there. No time for that anyway; I've got a 25 minute drive and a hopeless search for a parking space. There will be time for pain- not now.

This was a mistake. I'm here on the front row- I see her lips moving, but none of it is making any sense. I just want to go home, curl up in my bed, and die. Not solve pharmacokinetic problems, not pretend that my classmates aren't staring holes in the back of my head. Just die. In peace. Finally it's 9:50 and I can leave. Time to take care of business.

I need to find an orchid... In September. Great, mom! Way to set me up for the impossible task! Two florists and 30 minutes have gone by- now what? I can't show up without the orchid. But I have no makeup on, I haven't changed my clothes, and I have 30 missed calls trying to figure out where I am. One more try... "Ma'am do you have any orchids?". "Yeah, I know... With the hurricane you've only had power for two days. You haven't received your shipment for today yet? But I promised my mom...". THANK GOD. One stem of silk orchids in the back and she's giving it to me- I couldn't show up without this flower. There's something so incongruous about this chapel- she got married here. Why is her funeral here? **deep breath** All you have to do is walk up the side aisle, place the flower on her dress, and leave. You can do this. You can. You have to. It's so dark in here- creepy, even. The sun is shining so brightly outside but the light doesn't seem to be penetrating the glass of the windows. Now THAT seems appropriate. She looks so... Not asleep. That is the biggest lie of all. She doesn't look asleep. She looks... **sigh** here, mommy, I found your orchid. I hope it's okay that it's not fresh. Shit... It's 11:20 and I haven't gotten to the church yet- they are sooo going to kill me. I have the programs in the trunk of my car and the buttons too. Well... Maybe they'll leave without me and I can skip the whole thing. No. She's counting on me and I owe her this. Never mind that I feel like I can't take another step. Never mind that if one more person says "I'm so sorry for your loss," I might really lose something.

Great, they're all here. And the limousines are waiting. "Hey- sorry. Yeah, I know I'm late. I need to change- be right back.". Bastards. How can they even see me? After all, I'm not really here. This is just a really terrible figment of my overactive imagination... Right? But if that's the case, then why are there 50 people dressed in Black staring at me as I run past? Okay Monique. If this is real and you're really here, then you'd better pull it together.

Jesus. There are so many people here and it's not even noon yet. "Hi- thank you.". "Hello- I know... Thank you for coming." "Hi... No, I'm fine.". Oh my God. I didn't realize I'd have to be this close to her. For the entire service. I don't want to see her like this. I don't... Here we go. I keep opening and closing my purse to make sure that my papers are still there, that I haven't forgotten them. What a beautiful song- seems like I should be crying because everyone else is. My grandmother doesn't look so great; my grandfather looks devastated. What must it be like to be this close to your child's lifeless body? You're not supposed to outlive your children. I hope he's okay. Ohhhhh Dr. Harvey, you almost got me! All the way through your tribute and just when I thought it was safe- you broke. Damn you- you're the strong one! You can't cry, you're not supposed to cry. Dr. C, Lowell, Rich... It's almost time. What is she saying? Why is she crying? You weren't that close. All you ever did was envy her. All you ever did was hate on us. She loved you and you were jealous of her. She taught me to love you and you tried to separate us. Get off the pulpit- you don't deserve to cry.

And here we are. I made it up here without falling. Look at all of these peoples' faces... Wait, no, don't look. Are my papers all here? Yes, good. Okay. **inhale**

"My mother had two great passions in her life, and the first was the institution of Hampton University. I can imagine that her days here as an undergraduate were filled with typical collegiate activities and concerns. But a seed was planted; and several years later upon her return as a new faculty member, that seed began to grow into a mighty tree. She loved her students- she would spend many late night in 304 Phenix Hall planning for her classes and seeking new ways to inspire and motivate. Hampton Institute matured into Hampton University, and still she worked. This institution was in her blood and every day she found a new and better way to build on the legacy of Hamptonians who came before her. She was an ardent supporter of Hampton's leadership. I oftten would hear her extolling the virtues of her Home by the Sea to an unfortunate graduate of another university, and she would say: "well yall don't have NOTHIN on the Pirates and you DEFINITELY don't have nothing on Dr. Harvey!".

My mother was never restricted by her duties within the walls of the classroom. From September to November, all things unrelated to her Pirates took a backseat because after all, it was football season! Her Monday classes could always look forward to a spiritied discussion on "her boys-" she knew her team and she didn't play anyone downing her players. And she loved, I mean SHE LOVED her Marching Force. "Monique I'll have to meet you at the game- I'm not missing that opening fanfare!". She has succeeded in turning my entire family into what we call "Force fanatics," and she loved every minute of it. Her tireless support of this great inatitution, her unparalleled devotion to its success, and her model of excellence will continue to reverberate througout this campus as she truly has let her life do the singing.

As much as she loved Hampton University, she nurtured another passion as well, and that passion was me. From December 1977 to September 2003, Sharon White-Williams was on a mission. She accepted this mission with a fierceness and a responsibility that few have ever experienced.

Ours was a special bond, a strong bond- a bond that was sometimes tested, but never ever broken. Now I tried her patience, let me tell you. And I know just like she knew that I worked her LAST nerve some days. But she was laying a foundation- an unshakable fortress for the future. She would sometimes say, "now I won't be here with you forever, so you have to learn to stand on your own.". I used to hate to hear that because I never wanted to think about life "on my own," but I see now that she was right. Nothing tangible lasts forever, and unfortunately our forever was shorter than most. But the plans that she made 26 years ago have finally come to fruition... Here I stand on my own. My mother was ill for some time and I would occasionally watch her and wonder, "how can she be so strong? How has she made it this far?". But in a moment of clarity, I realized that she had to be sure. She had to be sure that the chubby-legged baby whom she loved so much had indeed become the woman that she always envisioned. She had to be sure that her work would go on- that I would continue on the path that she lit for me. She Had to be sure that I wouldn't give up, that two years from now on Mothers Day 2006 that I would be the newest Dr. White in the family. On September 18, she was sure. I know she was at peace and I know that she had finally stopped worrying... It was well with her soul.

And so I am a product of greatness. I follow in the footsteps of a giant, and yet I am not overshadowed. I was loved, I was cherished, and I was groomed for the same greatness as the Whites who came before me. Mommy, you have finally arrived and you have heard the words that you so longed for: "well done, my good and faithful servant, well done.". I applaud you, I respect you, I adore you, I revere you, I emulate you, and I will always keep your memory alive. I hope that every day I will bring a smile to your face as you do to mine, and I just hope that you are proud. You were my mother, my friend, my cheerleader, my PR person, my mentor, my confidante, my idol- the single greatest love of my life.

SATC

Oh.

My.

God.

Blogger, look at her dress.

**gigantic sigh**

**swoon**

Okay, I survived. Sex and the City movie... LOOOOOOOVVVVED!! Me and Mini went to see it last night- well as much as two people in two different time zones can watch the same movie at the same time, lol! LOVED IT!!

Time On My Hands

My goodness... I sooooo need to get back into reading. I was doing so well- sometimes even two books a week. But alas, forgive me bloggers for I have sinned. It has been almost a month since my last Book of the Week posrt. I finally fnished Barbara Walters' "Audition." I only picked t up because all the hoopla surrounding its release piqued my interest. To be honest, I was pleasantly surprised. It did drag a bit in places where she would go into excruciating detail about interviewing some international political leader or something equally as boring. But she made up for it in the dish... old bitches can DISH!!!! She was even a bit snarky here and there, but whatever... she's like 5,000 years old , so what do you want? I finally cracked the spine on "Dreams from My Father" by Barack Obama after all these months... that will be the reading material for the subway ride and the hair salon tomorrow. **sigh** Oh how I love to read.

I also spent some time making jewelry last week. I had this grand idea to make something to wear with the dress I'd picked out to wear to the theater. HOWEVER... the weather refused to cooperate, so the look in my head got lost in translation. But here's the product anyway...


Oh yeah, don't worry Mini, I haven't forgotten about you. While you were off on your extended weekend, I kinda forgot to go to the post office to mail your bracelet. But never fear... it is on the way :)

One More from the Great Adventure

I forgot to put this picture in the last post. Of course we had to do the obligatory caricature that they have at every amusement park in the world, lol. The more I look at it, the more I realize that this picture looks JUST like him... not too much like me.