Monday, July 30, 2007

Oh and One More Thing...

I can't believe I left these off of my list... oh, and Wise (I think it was), the sad part is that I HAVE said one of these in the last 24 hours! Here we go...

If you ask me what time I'll have your prescription ready and I say "one hour," DO NOT ask me whether I think I can have it done any sooner. NO!!!!!! Otherwise I would've said sooner. Now beat it :)

"Compounds are done overnight, sir, so you'll have to get this in the morning." "So I can't wait for it? My child really has a bad diaper rash?" NOOOOO! OVERNIGHT. As in 3 a.m. As in NOT NOW. Do the 27 very irritated-looking people in front of you appear as if thy want to wait while I compound your child's diaper rash cream? **deep sigh**

Patient presents with two prescriptions, one antibiotic and one for the pain. And so he says, "Which one of these is for pain? Okay, gimme that one, then. I'll just wait on that other." Meanwhile, that chlamydia just kees on ragin.

"Is this CVS brand allergy relief the same as Benadryl?" (all said while carefully perusing the box that clearly states "same active ingredient as Benadryl")

"I'm sorry ma'am, but your doctor denied your request for more refills." "Well can't you just give me a couple to last me?"

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Things I Be Wantin to Say When I'm Working the Overnight

Quit bitching! If you want to file a complaint, here's a card with my name on it. Now beat it!

If you're bringing in a prescription to be filled, that's "dropping off." So stand at the window that says "drop off," not "consultation."

Just because you're waiting in the store doesn't mean you have to stand in front of me and glare. FYI, that makes me move slower.

If the sign says, "please come inside," then bitch COME INSIDE!!!! Don't sit in the drive thru, you won't get helped!

If I'm texter 96 and 98 and you're looking for 97, just give me the damn tickets, PLEASE!!

You stink. Please don't stand so close to me.

You're fired. Now go tell your little terrorist friends that shit in your language!

It's GENERIC not GENETIC! And for the 365,396th time, YES it's the same!

YES someone is back here! You don't have to run up front and tattle to the night shift supervisor because you walked up and didn't see me in the first three seconds. Snitch.

No, we do not have methadone 10 mg #360. At least not for you. And not tonight. So beat it. Now.

Yes I'm reading a book. Yes it's "Roots." Yes it's good. No I'm not planning an uprising. And no, I haven't seen the movie.

I WANT SOME BEYONCE TICKETS!!!!!!!

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Wanna Peek?

Saw this on another blog, and liked it. If you're not interested in the detaiils of my sex life, skip this post. But if you are (and you wanna play too)...

Copy this entire list to your blog. BOLD everything that is true about you. Leave plain anything that is not true about you. Put an asterisk next to anything you would like to be true. I can't do special fonts on my Sidekick, so bear with me :) (you'll probably have to reformat a bit)

HAVES
1. I sleep better after sex.
2. There are some nights I cannot sleep without sex or masturbating.
3. I like being choked during sex.
4. I have had phone sex.
5. I have watched more than one gay/lesbian porn video.
6. I have given/received a facial.
7. I think we should do more to understand the cultures of sex.
8. I would participate in sex research given the opportunity.
9. I currently have a "crush" on someone of the same sex.
10. I want to have sex with someone on my blogroll.
11. Some people might describe me as a nymphomaniac.
12. I am difficult to live with if I'm not having sex on a regular basis.
13. I sleep better with someone snuggled up next to me.
14. I have had sex under water.
15. I have given sex as a gift.
16. I have made a video having sex.
17. I have taken nude pictures
18. I have had more than one partner in a 24 hour period
19. I have taken a trip longer than an hour just for a booty call

HAVE NOTS
1. I have had sex while wearing a blindfold.
2. I have blindfolded someone else during sex.
3. I have had sex while watching porn.
4. I have had sex while surfing porn on the Internet.
5. The bed is NOT my most favorite place to have sex.
6. I am turned on knowing someone is watching me masturbate.
7. I have had sex knowning someone else was watching.
8. I have masturbated for someone over a web cam.
9. I have had sex over a web cam.
10. I have had a one night stand.
11. I have been tied up during sex.
12. I have dripped wax onto a lover's body.
13. I have had a lover drip wax onto my body.
14. I have a foot fetish.
15. I have a leather fetish.
16. I have a tickle fetish.
17. I enjoy nudie magazines.
18. Erotic toys are a regular part of my budget.
19. I think PLAYBOY is tame, maybe even boring.
20. I have clicked on porn links in my email.
21. Much of what I know about sex comes from porn.
22. My current lover does not sufficiently meet my sexual needs.
23. I am often disappointed in my sexual relationships.
24. I have had sex in the snow.
25. I am in a polyamorous relationship.
26. I have to have music playing while having sex.
27. I have flashed strangers.
28. I have set-up a three-way for my lover.

WOULD LOVE TO'S
1. I am a member of the Mile-High Club.
2. I stopped during this list to have sex.
3. I have had more than ten orgasms in one night.
4. I have had sex at my place of employment.
5. I have erotic art on display somewhere in my residence.
6. I have had sex with someone who was tied up.
7. I have watched a couple have sex.

Friday, July 27, 2007

You've Come A Long Way, Baby

Many of you were around last November when I met the Bishop (I'd put the link here, but TMobile says "be thankful you're blogging at all, picky bitch"). Well, now here we are 8 months (and 8 days) after our first date, still laughing at each others' silliness and planning our lives together. And none of this would be if it weren't for today. On July 27, 2006, the love of my life lost the love of his. Forever. She was here one minute and the next, she was gone. After 14 months of marriage and a week after a cruise to celebrate their first anniversary, she was gone.

When I met him, he seemed okay on the outside. But it was in those quiet minutes between laughs that never really reached his eyes that I could see how deep his pain was. He was determined not to let the loss of her life mean the loss of his, but he just seemed so... shook. So I heard him claim to want to date me with my ears, but pushed him away with my heart. He wasn't ready. It was too soon. What would people say? Time and prayer have shown me that people enter your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime, and whatever God's plan was for their marriage, He had a different plan for me.

And so now it is July 27, 2007. What a difference a year makes. Now he laughs with his eyes. Now he says her name and he doesn't tense up or look away. Now he visits a little less ooften and returns a little less burdened. Now he says "when" instead of "if." I still see her picture. She still lives in his heart. But I finally realize now that so do I, and there's room for both of us. So rest in peace, SJB. I know you loved him first, and I can only hope that you too have found peace in Bishop's new life. He's happy again, but not because of me. I've been here and I've loved him through his journey, but you gave him what he needed to be the man who stands on his own today.

On the Drive to Work

Yeah, okay. So I'm late on this too, but so what? But the "Same Girl" remix feat. T Pain, though? WOW. I just... I just can't.

So everyone's favorite party girl, Lindsay Lohan got arrested AGAIN for DUI and cocaine possession (sorry again, newsies, but I work nights and NEVER stuff like the Today Show). But what I LOVE about this story is that when they pulled her over and questioned her about the cocaine (that incidentally was in HER pocket!!), she said, "it isn't mine." **SIGH**

Hahahahahahahahahahah!!!!!!

That is SO gangsta... I just love it to pieces. That girl has a serious problem. It would be sad if it weren't so damn funny. Hahahahahahahah! It wasn't mine. Hahahahahahahah! I'm pregnant. But its not my baby... even though you found it nestled comfortably and afloat in my uterus. Again, hahahahahahahahahah!

That is all.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

TMI Thursday (cause I'm always a step behind)

As usual, I grabbed this from someone else. Think I'ma make it a regular.

1. Lace or silk?
Lace. I just think it's so sexy to look at. But silk feels so good on my skin :)

2. Do you subscribe to (or regularly buy) any "dirty" magazines? Which ones?
No ma'am. I just always thought they were silly.

3. Have you ever had sex in the water (tub/pool/lake/ocean)?
Oh yes, if the shower counts. But I didn't enjoy it much. A Black woman and her hair in a hot ass shower? Not so much...

4. The three words that best describe you in bed are...
Loud, passive, insatiable.

5. The three words that best describe your most recent partner in bed are...
Strong, complete, INSATIABLE.

6. Did you lose your virginity as an impetuous youth, "to prove that you loved him," because of a romantic gesture, a newlywed, or other?
Other. It was my 20th birthday and I was tired of being a loser.

****BONUS ROUND****

Name three words that:
Get you excited: baby turn over
Make you squirm: it won't hurt
Make you laugh: dammit Anna Mae!!

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

A Change Gon' Come

Throwback song for yall who insist that I'm so old :)

I don't really want to go too deep into this, but I need a new wind to blow through my life. Things haven't been going too great for someone close to me, and I just hope that our prayers are answered soon. God never gives you more than you can handle, but sometimes it's so hard to remember that! I feel like something really good is just around the corner, so... we'll see.

2:34 a.m.

Boredom. Breeds random thought. I'm really starting to think that I'm schizophrenic. Fifteen minutes ago, I was crying and blowing my nose into some cheap ass store supplied tissue. Now I'm just fighting sleep. So here are the words of a sleep-deprived pharmacist.

* If the sign says "please come inside," why, then, do you insist on sitting in your car in the drive thru and pushing the button? I'm not coming! Bring your lazy ass INSIDE!!
* How do I stop being such a distrustful and suspicious person? How do I stop my mind from wandering to that place just because he's not answering his phone?
* I can't wait to get married and have a baby. I always laughed at the dumbass idea of some biological clock ticking away, but I repent. I hear it. Daily. And La, if that means that I'm swapping cookie recipes and camping out for the 2013 version of Harry Potter, then so be it :)
* I want a new car. Actually, I'd prefer a truck. Just something to outwardly reflect the way I feel when I'm driviing. Thirty. Beautiful. Successful. Fly.
* I love him. And I'm really starting to have faith that he loves me too. I think we're going to make it.
* I can't wait until September when school starts. Little Miss "I'm 13 now" is about to get WRECKED. I mean I'm going into that school like a one woman wrecking crew. Eighth grade is gonna feel like educational boot camp before I'm done!
* I really hope Bishop understands how important my birthday is this year. I don't care what the gift is, I just want him to make a fuss.
* Women are bitches. More on that later if my thumbs don't get too tired.
* No, I haven't forgotten about updating the great adoption saga. There just hasn't been any more news.
* If you were so irresponsible as to wait until the night before you leave the country to refill your asthma medication that has run out of refills and needs a doctor's approval, then yes, you do deserve to die over there. I'l send flowers on behalf of CVS.
* Butchy lesbians simply are not sexy. Ever.

Memories

Oh. I really miss her today. More today than yesterday. Hopefully more today than tomorrow. I miss her perfume. 360 by Perry Ellis (I think?). I miss her big brass bed with all of the pillows. I miss that raggedy blue scarf she tied over her rollers at night. Until she didn't need rollers anymore. Then she just went to sleep. I miss her flair, her style, her grace, her panache. Dana Buchman, Ellen Tracy, Ferragamo, Fendi. I miss seeing the shoe boxes in the kitchen cabinets and the purses in my old trophy case. I miss her jewelry cases full of big, bold earrings and chunky necklaces that somehow never overshadowed her petite frame. I miss her familiar phrases, her laugh which I almost can't hear anymore. I miss her discipline, even her anger. I miss her phone number, her voicemail, her address. I miss her car and her impossibly junky trunk. I miss her books and papers, knicknacks, and keepsakes. Her peace and faith. Her love and concern. Her determination.

Dammit. I miss her. It just makes me so sad sometimes. She would be so proud of me. And she would love him because he loves me. Crazy how it just sneaks up on me sometimes.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

I'ma Hit This Bitch with My Umbrella ella ella

So today is not starting off well. I had an 8 o'clock hair appointment in the city today. I stayed up until 3 a.m. this morning watching "Apocalypto" (great flick, by the way), and I was supposed to get up by 5 to catch the train (SO didn't happen!). I ended up having to drive in which took an hour, and then I paid $18 to park my car. So when I casually saunter up to the salon (which I had been calling since 7:45 with no answer), I ring the buzzer and.... no answer. I call again. No answer. I walk across the street to buy some tea and fruit. I walk back to ring the buzzer again. No answer again. I call Tina's (my stylist) cell. No answer. I leave a very puzzled message. Finally at 9:30 she calls me back and says that there must be some mixup because I'm not on the book for today. **1st trimester pregnant pause**

WHAT??????? How could I not be on the book if I got not one, but TWO voicemails confirming my appointment? Okay, fine. So what can we do about YOUR RECEPTIONIST'S screw up? Apparently nothing because Tina has an emergency with her daughter and is actually cancelling all of today's appointments anyway. **second trimester pregnant pause**

WHAT??????? I have two dates this week and only one more day off. My hair hasn't SEEN the inside of the Tina Pearson Salon in four weeks. I had a specific (and very jazzy, I might add) hairstyle in mind that only Tina can accomplish. And she's not coming in? **sigh** But she offers to have her assistant do it for me since she's due in at any minute (did I fail to mention that all of this is taking place as I stand perched on the very busy, noisy, and CREMATORIUM-ishly hot corner of 65th Street and Lexington Avenue? Riiiiight.). **third trimester pregnant pause**

And so here we are. I am getting the same old tired straight Rihanna-esque bob hairstyle that I've been rocking (albeit very stylishly) for the last two months. What a waste of a perfectly good, well planned out, beautiful day.

Fuck.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Hey- It Beats Selling Ass on St. Georges Avenue

I think the nightshift has finally gotten me. I just agreed to the craziest shit I have ever heard in my life. For the month of August, I will be working 12 nights in a row with two days off. Then work another 12 nights. Yes, folks. 24 nights with 2 nights off. The whole month. **sigh** All this because a girl needs to pay some bills! This blogging from my Sidekick and missing Soapnet ish because my cable bill is stupidly high has got to stop. So 24 nights. One weekend off. $10,000. I must be high. Jesus wept (sorry, Victoria, but that is just too funny not to copy!).

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Over the River and Through the Woods... and the Swamp and the Interstate and...

Last week was my week off, so I got the brilliant idea to take a road trip with my honey and his daughter. **sigh** and so it begins.

We left Monday morning when I got off at 11 a.m. I had just worked a 12 hour overnight shift @ CVS and was WAY too tired for any bullshit. Thirteen hours later we get to Jacksonville, Florida and I am already trying to resist the urge to walk to the airport and book the first thing northbound. It is raining and it is 4500 degrees and there are gators (cause in Floriday they can't possibly be "alligators") ambling slowly across the street at every corner. Emani is driving me BATSHIT with her "are we there yet?" foolishness because she just can't bear the idea that her father is paying attention to me and not her. And I am TIRED. Tuesday morning we go to Clearwater to drop Mani off at her mother's house. **wow**

Myra is 41 years old with a 24-year-old daughter, an 18-month-old grandson, a fiance but no engagement ring, three ex-husbands, and PLATINUM BLONDE MICROBRAIDS. **wow** She opens the door with, "Hi! I'm Emani's mom!" You're kidding.... I really had NO IDEA where we were leaving my boyfriend's daughter to spend the summer **duh**

We got back to Eric's twin's house in Jacksonville at 2:30 a.m. where we were greeted with her husband's cousin, his wife, and their two HOLLERIN children. At 2:30 in the morning. When I was trying to sleep. Riiiiiight. Wednesday afternoon we wake up and leave for his parents' house in Savannah. They were in California and so we were going to stay at their house for the rest of the week. But wait!!!! Bishop left they key in New Jersey. NEW JERSEY. Not Georgia. So we have to stay with his uncle and his new wife. YEAH!!! I got to spend the whitest holiday of the year standing outside in 7600 degree heat with 99% humidity watching colored fireballs in the sky. DOUBLE YEAH!!!

Thursday we went sightseeing in Savannah along the riverfront and... **this is for you, Jam** we ate at Lady and Sons. PAULA DEAN!!!! TRIPLE YEAH!!!!!

Friday morning we drove up to NC, then Friday night to Hampton. Saturday morning we drove to Kings Dominion. Sunday morning at 3 a.m. we got back to Jersey. And Monday night at 7 p.m. I came back to CVS to start it all again. QUADRUPLE YEAH!!!!

This One's Gonna Sting A Bit

Sweeeeeeeeet!!!! I'm back in there. Blogger and Tmobile have finally seen fit (for who knows how long) to allow me to blog again. I lost a VERY long, detailed post about the great adoption update, and I have NO recollection of what all was in it. So I'm gonna take this one in a very different direction. True story, pt. 1.

"Sorry 4 the random text. But there's some stuff I gotta tell u. Are u busy?"
"No. What's up?"
"Ok..... what happened?"
"What happened with what?"
"Um, I guess us. What happened with us? One minute everything is going fine and then..."
"I mean I just figured that you were going through one of your usual things where you were mad at me and it would blow over. But I called several times and you never called me back, so I figured I'd wait you out a bit."
"That's because I deleted your number from my phone."
"You did WHAT? But I didn't do anything to you! Why would you do me like that?"
"Listen, okay? A nigga was tryin to heal. I was a little bitter."
**sigh**
"I never meant to hurt you. I apologize if I did. I didn't realize."
"Its nothing to apologize 4. I guess I just want to know what convinced u I wasn't the one 4 u and he was. I just wanna be friends. I guess I'm looking for closure."
"YOU convinced me. You said you didn't want me. You said we were just cool. And to be honest, I kept trying to make you see me as something more. It wasn't until you chose to..... with Lady of Rage instead of..... during..... weekend that I realized that you didn't care about me and he did. So I gave him a chance."
"So basically I pushed you straight into that nigga's arms? I delivered you right to him. DAMMIT! I guess I never took the relationship seriously."