Did she just say that "my mom is the bomb.com?" Lawd.
Now I know this play by play thing is probably working your last nerve. So if you don't care what happened on "Crowned," say goodbye now.
Patty and Laura from Florida. They are already killing me. I know she's trashy, but oh how I love Shana Moakler. Whose mom is that with Mickey Mouse buns? Ooooooohhhhh. Ahhhhhh. Love the house. Nicole from Delaware. It's on... those bitches already hate her because she won Miss Delaware on her first try! Did she just call them the "Star Trek" twins? LMAO. Where are the coloreds?????
Here they are. Mama needs contacts. Immediately. I'm sorry- did they say $100,000? Oh, I'd be serious too. The opera singing duo is hilarious. And damn if they don't look like twins.
Dang, she really does look like a stuffed fish with that gold dress. Wow, Cristan the wild child from Texas is really rather pretty.
These cows are singing opera at 7:15 in the morning. Pamela looks JUST like Amy Winehouse. And the Skin Deep mom looks like Sister Patterson from "I Love New York 2." Pity. Mama doesn't love to dance, does she? Cha cha cha, though? And mama loves her hamburger meat? Funny. Carson is soooooooo gay and so funny. He will be the highlight of this show, for sure. The Red-Headed Bombshells are wack.
Can you have leopard print and sequins on the same dress? "Apparently," say The Blonde Bombshells. From West Virginia.
The Dream Gals. They're cute. And never have I seen a mother-daughter combo who looks less alike!
Wow, the feathers. The Diamond Dolls. The daughter looks old enough to be the mom. Oh boo hoo; they're playing the medical emergency card. Mama had a kidney transplant two years ago. Cliche. Oh, mama is crying. The drama.
Is anyone else tired of these endless Dunkin Donut commercials featuring Rachel Ray? **sigh** And she does Ritz cracker spots too? Lawd.
Team Skin Deep is rapping. And dancing. Okay. And they're dumb.
The Tomboy Queens. Love Mama Winehouse.
The Sassy Sisters. Mama's 39, daughter's 20. Enough.
The Reigning A's. They are soooooooooooo dry. Dryyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. When Shana Moakler says "you're saying a lot, but I'm not really hearing anything," you know you're in trouble.
The Daredevil Divas. What the hell is an aerialist? "Your outfits make my eyes bleed." Woowwwwwww. He needs a Band Aid for his eyes. Perfectly put.
Oh, my dear Carson. Priceless line of the night: "When I hear "silent but deadly," only one thing comes to mind..... smelly, silent farts!" well, the daughter is gorgeous. And the mother has a Ph.D. Love them.
Team Hot & Not. They look.... crazy. The daughter went to Girls Town- some boot camp for troubled girls. Seems to have been productive.
Okay. De-sashing ceremony #1. With the crystal-studded scissors. "Even though your dresses give me cataracts... you're still safe." I. LOVE. CARSON. The law school student from West Virginia... she looks stunned to be in the bottom two. Oh Carson strikes again with "I couldn't see past those horrendo hats." He said they look like Amish hookers!
Ah well... buh bye to the Reigning A's.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Take 1,329,973. Dammmmmmmn Jenah. You suck. I L-O-V-E Chantal's dress. But I'm still not feeling her. Saleisha, seriously? Don't fuck this up for us.
Did Walmart absolutely HAVE to shoot this damn "Soul Food" inspired Christmas dinner commercial? Complete with the uber extra uncle picking off the food. **sigh**
If Miss J doesn't look a damn fool! "Stomp to the death?" Word, Tyra? Damn, Chantal. "I don't know if she's the kind of person I want my little sister to look up to." Wow. Low blow. But what does she have on, though? A tent?
They picked a weird picture of Saleisha. She looks almost anorexic. If you're white, Twiggy loves you. Hands down. Jenah's done. No doubt. "Rainbows incessantly?" I see you with the SAT words! What does Jenah's resentment towards her mom have to do with her being a damn model? NOTHING. Boo. Crocodile tears better not make her a finalist.
I.
LOVE.
That.
Jaslene.
Has.
On.
Bamboo.
Earrings.
With her name in them.
J'adore.
And I love Drew Barrymore as a Cover Girl. She's fab.
Fakey fake fake Chantal. Boo on you. Where are the tears? Yeaaaaaahhhhhhhhh Saleisha. Get it! Damn, can a bitch get a porter to help her with that big ass duffel bag?????
I miss Saleisha's old hair. I'm over this bob. Ty. Ra. You look like boo boo. Smelly boo boo.
Wowwwww. This J'adore Dior commercial with Charlize Theron is fiyahhhh!!
Oooooohhhhhh Tyra is a modeling bitch! Chantal looks mad stiff to me. Chantal's seecond gown is gorgeous.
I.
Am.
Outdone.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahah!1
She tripped the man on the stilts! Priceless. Lying ass. When Saleisha asked her if she stopped, she said no. Uhhhh... okay.
Tyra should NEVER do the onion bun. Ever. No mas. Saleisha crushed that runway. Finally, someone agrees about Chantal. Ramrod stiff.
America's Next Top Model is......
Saleisha!!!!!!!!! Rock on, bitch.
Goody! "Crowned" is next! Smooches.
Did Walmart absolutely HAVE to shoot this damn "Soul Food" inspired Christmas dinner commercial? Complete with the uber extra uncle picking off the food. **sigh**
If Miss J doesn't look a damn fool! "Stomp to the death?" Word, Tyra? Damn, Chantal. "I don't know if she's the kind of person I want my little sister to look up to." Wow. Low blow. But what does she have on, though? A tent?
They picked a weird picture of Saleisha. She looks almost anorexic. If you're white, Twiggy loves you. Hands down. Jenah's done. No doubt. "Rainbows incessantly?" I see you with the SAT words! What does Jenah's resentment towards her mom have to do with her being a damn model? NOTHING. Boo. Crocodile tears better not make her a finalist.
I.
LOVE.
That.
Jaslene.
Has.
On.
Bamboo.
Earrings.
With her name in them.
J'adore.
And I love Drew Barrymore as a Cover Girl. She's fab.
Fakey fake fake Chantal. Boo on you. Where are the tears? Yeaaaaaahhhhhhhhh Saleisha. Get it! Damn, can a bitch get a porter to help her with that big ass duffel bag?????
I miss Saleisha's old hair. I'm over this bob. Ty. Ra. You look like boo boo. Smelly boo boo.
Wowwwww. This J'adore Dior commercial with Charlize Theron is fiyahhhh!!
Oooooohhhhhh Tyra is a modeling bitch! Chantal looks mad stiff to me. Chantal's seecond gown is gorgeous.
I.
Am.
Outdone.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahah!1
She tripped the man on the stilts! Priceless. Lying ass. When Saleisha asked her if she stopped, she said no. Uhhhh... okay.
Tyra should NEVER do the onion bun. Ever. No mas. Saleisha crushed that runway. Finally, someone agrees about Chantal. Ramrod stiff.
America's Next Top Model is......
Saleisha!!!!!!!!! Rock on, bitch.
Goody! "Crowned" is next! Smooches.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Saturday, December 08, 2007
Saturday Comedy
Someone sent to this to me, and I thought it was HILARIOUS. Love the white man and his woman, right J?!!!
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Christmas Copy
1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Gift bags. I love wrapping gifts, but after awhile, it gets expensive. Gift bags are easy and beautiful.
2. Tree, real or fake? Fake. No needles to clean up and I really don't like the smell of pine.
3. When do you put up the tree? I actually don't. Haven't had a tree since I lived at home. It's pretty pointless unless you have children.
4. When do you take the tree down? See above.
5. Do you like eggnog? LOVE IT. Never had it with alcohol, but I love it. Ice cold.
6. Favorite gift received as a child? Hmm... the Christmas when Cabbage Patch Kids first came out for like $70 a pop and my mom- I mean Santa Clause- bought me four.
7. Do you have a Nativity scene? No.
8. Hardest person to buy for? I don't really buy Christmas presents. But in general, Bishop is a tough one.
9. Favorite Christmas tradition? We didn't really have any traditions. Just my mom's macaroni and cheese. So good.
10. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Hmm... this hat and glove set from my ex-boyfriend's mom. Leopard print fleece. Hideous.
11. Mail or email Christmas cards? Neither. I don't send them.
12. Favorite Christmas movie? "A Christmas Story" makes me chuckle. But only because that little kid's glasses are so damn funny. Wait, I completely forgot. "Bad(der) Santa." Genius.
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Helllllooooo! McFly!!!!! See #8
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Yes :)
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Mom's macaroni and cheese. And greens. And turkey. And ham.
16. Clear lights or colored lights on a Christmas tree? First of all, they're white lights! And colored lights? NEVER. They just look so... poor. I've never seen any Christmas display anywhere with colored lights that didn't look tacky.
17. Favorite Christmas song? "Oh Holy Night" by Mariah Carey
18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Home. Work. Bah.
19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? Comet, Cupid, Dancer, Dasher, Donner, Blitzen, Rudolph, Prancer, Vixen
20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Neither. No topper.
21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?
22. Most annoying part of this time of year? Angry women at the mall fighting over overpriced things.
23. What I love most about Christmas.... kids with new toys.
2. Tree, real or fake? Fake. No needles to clean up and I really don't like the smell of pine.
3. When do you put up the tree? I actually don't. Haven't had a tree since I lived at home. It's pretty pointless unless you have children.
4. When do you take the tree down? See above.
5. Do you like eggnog? LOVE IT. Never had it with alcohol, but I love it. Ice cold.
6. Favorite gift received as a child? Hmm... the Christmas when Cabbage Patch Kids first came out for like $70 a pop and my mom- I mean Santa Clause- bought me four.
7. Do you have a Nativity scene? No.
8. Hardest person to buy for? I don't really buy Christmas presents. But in general, Bishop is a tough one.
9. Favorite Christmas tradition? We didn't really have any traditions. Just my mom's macaroni and cheese. So good.
10. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Hmm... this hat and glove set from my ex-boyfriend's mom. Leopard print fleece. Hideous.
11. Mail or email Christmas cards? Neither. I don't send them.
12. Favorite Christmas movie? "A Christmas Story" makes me chuckle. But only because that little kid's glasses are so damn funny. Wait, I completely forgot. "Bad(der) Santa." Genius.
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Helllllooooo! McFly!!!!! See #8
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Yes :)
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Mom's macaroni and cheese. And greens. And turkey. And ham.
16. Clear lights or colored lights on a Christmas tree? First of all, they're white lights! And colored lights? NEVER. They just look so... poor. I've never seen any Christmas display anywhere with colored lights that didn't look tacky.
17. Favorite Christmas song? "Oh Holy Night" by Mariah Carey
18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Home. Work. Bah.
19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? Comet, Cupid, Dancer, Dasher, Donner, Blitzen, Rudolph, Prancer, Vixen
20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Neither. No topper.
21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?
22. Most annoying part of this time of year? Angry women at the mall fighting over overpriced things.
23. What I love most about Christmas.... kids with new toys.
Top Model Time
Did that "Seventeen" lady just say that Bianca's walk was "a little too hip hop?" I ABHOR when white people say dumb shit like that. How do you WALK hip hop? Whatever. But the monkey look on Bianca is DONE. Give that girl some hair, please. PLEASE.
Jenah wins the runway challenge? She just looks so... trashy to me. Well she needs Jay tips. I liked Saleisha's dress the best. I loved Bianca's bag. Chantal is just wack to me. Wickety wickety wickety wickety wack. Daddy.
The great wall of China... that is so cool. Fabulosity.
Chantal's hair looks just plain foolish. FOOLISH, I say. Okay when I said Bianca needed hair, I didn't mean that ginormous bun in the front. Oh Lordy. Get it Leisha! She's my fave.
**Am I loser for wanting to watch this new show "Crowned?" Did Shana say a "de-sashing ceremony?" And did she say "there's nothing in this world that a little self tanner and some high heels won't fix?" I am soooo there next week!**
Jenah is forgettable. Did the dumb bitch say that she was homesick? SUCK IT UP. What is it about Chantal that I just shy away from? SALEISHA. Wowwwwwwww. Picture is amazing.
Okay. Can Heather really be the Cover Girl of the Week for every week of this competition and yet she's cold chillin at home this week? Every single week. But when she opens that mouth... atrocious.
Okay, here we go. Decision time. I want Jenah to bounce, but my money's on Bianca. Swang song, Tyra? Seriously? Could someone just muzzle her? And by the way, what happened to Atoosa Rubenstein at "Seventeen?" She was gangsta.
#1. WHAT??????? Chantal's pic was better than Salesha's? BULLSHIT.
#2. Saleisha.
Jenah looks like she's starring in a Chinese Star Trek. Blah blah Tyra. Blah blah blah. Who's packing their shit?
Bianca. I was right, but I disagree. What does she need? Hair. Now she has to go back to Queens with no damn hair. I'd be SO pissed. She was robbed.
Jenah wins the runway challenge? She just looks so... trashy to me. Well she needs Jay tips. I liked Saleisha's dress the best. I loved Bianca's bag. Chantal is just wack to me. Wickety wickety wickety wickety wack. Daddy.
The great wall of China... that is so cool. Fabulosity.
Chantal's hair looks just plain foolish. FOOLISH, I say. Okay when I said Bianca needed hair, I didn't mean that ginormous bun in the front. Oh Lordy. Get it Leisha! She's my fave.
**Am I loser for wanting to watch this new show "Crowned?" Did Shana say a "de-sashing ceremony?" And did she say "there's nothing in this world that a little self tanner and some high heels won't fix?" I am soooo there next week!**
Jenah is forgettable. Did the dumb bitch say that she was homesick? SUCK IT UP. What is it about Chantal that I just shy away from? SALEISHA. Wowwwwwwww. Picture is amazing.
Okay. Can Heather really be the Cover Girl of the Week for every week of this competition and yet she's cold chillin at home this week? Every single week. But when she opens that mouth... atrocious.
Okay, here we go. Decision time. I want Jenah to bounce, but my money's on Bianca. Swang song, Tyra? Seriously? Could someone just muzzle her? And by the way, what happened to Atoosa Rubenstein at "Seventeen?" She was gangsta.
#1. WHAT??????? Chantal's pic was better than Salesha's? BULLSHIT.
#2. Saleisha.
Jenah looks like she's starring in a Chinese Star Trek. Blah blah Tyra. Blah blah blah. Who's packing their shit?
Bianca. I was right, but I disagree. What does she need? Hair. Now she has to go back to Queens with no damn hair. I'd be SO pissed. She was robbed.
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