Okay, guys. The Master Cleanse is down for the count. I am on day 13, only one more to go, but I had a bit of a health scare yesterday and have decided that enough is enough. I didn't lose as much weight as some people or even as much as I had hoped, but I did stick with it (for the most part) as long as I could, and I am proud of myself. Yesterday I passed out in my office and I happened to be alone, so no one found me for about 20-25 minutes. I got some IV fluids, they ran a bunch of tests, and suggested that I stay at home today until I felt (as they put it) "more stable." I really don't think it had much to do with the cleanse since I hadn't done anything different yesterday than any other day, but I'm just hoping that there isn't something really wrong with my body. I have never really hd any health problems (other than clumsiness which seems to be the curse of tall women everywhere), so I have often found myself waiting for the other shoe to drop. And I have never passed out like that before (for such a long period of time), so my mind is on overdrive trying to figure out what could be wrong. And for the comedians out there, the answer to your question is a beautiful, wonderful NO!!!! A pregnancy test was one of the first things they did, so now that we've gotten that out of the way :) Breathe, stretch, shake, honey... your friends were wrong, I am NOT trying to trap you into marrying me. Yall have a good one...
Morning weight: 201.2 (-7.6 pounds)
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Sad News to Report
Sorry if this is old news, but I just got an email about it (http://www.allhiphopnews.com/hiphopnews/?ID=6190). Apparently, Rev. Run and his wife Justine suffered a great loss this past Saturday when their baby girl was born with her organs on the outside of her baby. She died shortly after delivery. I am SO sad to hear that - I am a big fan of Run's House, and I remember how excited she seemed when she found out that she was pregnant. All the kids were hapy and even Rev. seemed to have gotten on the bandwagon of his "old lady" having a new baby. According to the article, MTV cameras were at the hospital in Ridgewood filming for the new season of Run's House when this occurred, so I don't know how it will all pan out (if at all) on the show,
Please keep Reverend Run and his family in your thoughts and prayers as I cannot even imagine what it must be like to have a blessing so wonderful and anticipated end this way.
P.S. And then with people fighting to keep their lives, THIS dumb ass..... http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15021827/
Please keep Reverend Run and his family in your thoughts and prayers as I cannot even imagine what it must be like to have a blessing so wonderful and anticipated end this way.
P.S. And then with people fighting to keep their lives, THIS dumb ass..... http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15021827/
Monday, September 25, 2006
Day 10
Whoo hoo! Well, no MAJOR setback on the weight front. This weekend's weakness didn't affect me TOO much (at least I didn't have dessert).
Morning weight: 201.8 (-7 pounds)
Morning weight: 201.8 (-7 pounds)
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Monique and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Birthday
SIGH..... this was one of the worst birthdays ever (surpassed only by the truly horrible 26th birthday of 2003). I was on this ridiculous Master Cleanse, I didn't get any presents, and I got a reckless driving speeding ticket. Plus the next day I fell off the diet bandwagon (I don't want to discuss it, just know that I'm back with the tea and the lemonade) and I got into a horrible fight with a really good friend. It wasn't really a fight, more like a misunderstanding, but I felt terrible and apparently so did he. I just get so frustrated when I feel like people aren't making time for me - especially when that's all I ever seem to do for other people. I was so angry that I got in my car at 11:00 p.m. and started driving the six hours back to New Jersey. I was tired, I was angry, I was sad, and I just wanted to have a happy fucking birthday. What did I think I was going to accomplish by running myself off the road at 2:00 in the morning somewhere on US-13? I don't know... it just seemed like the right choice at the time. Luckily this friend convinced me to turn around and come home (or at least back to their house). I really do think that he cares about me, it's just that sometimes it gets lost in the translation.
This probably makes absolutely NO SENSE to anyone reading this, so I'll just stop blabbering now. Prepare yourself: tomorrow's weight will be more than last week, but like I said, I did eat twice this weekend. So even though tomorrow is day 10, I might have to go more than 14 days because of the lapse. We'll see.
P.S. If my friend happens to be reading this, I'm sorry if I worried you Saturday night. I was angry with you, and I didn't understand that you really were concerned about my wellbeing. I hope you understood where I was coming from and that our friendship will be better because of it. **secret handshake**
This probably makes absolutely NO SENSE to anyone reading this, so I'll just stop blabbering now. Prepare yourself: tomorrow's weight will be more than last week, but like I said, I did eat twice this weekend. So even though tomorrow is day 10, I might have to go more than 14 days because of the lapse. We'll see.
P.S. If my friend happens to be reading this, I'm sorry if I worried you Saturday night. I was angry with you, and I didn't understand that you really were concerned about my wellbeing. I hope you understood where I was coming from and that our friendship will be better because of it. **secret handshake**
Friday, September 22, 2006
Day Seven
Don't ask me what why my weight went up today; I didn't drink my tea like I was supposed and I was really slacking on the lemonade so... I don't know. Unfortunately I won't be able to give you guys any weight updates over the weekend because I am going home for my 29th BIRTHDAY TODAY (YEAH!!!!!!). I don't think I'll be back with any stories about fabulous birthday parties like someone I know or beatiful flower arrangements like someone else I am hatin on but it's all good... you only turn 29 once and I'm not bitter :) Have a good weekend everyone!
Morning weight: 201.8(-7 pounds)
Morning weight: 201.8(-7 pounds)
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Day Six
I'm running late AGAIN, but I remembered...
Morning weight: 201.2 (-7.4 pounds)
11:37 ADDENDUM: Cuz I'm a brick... duh duh duh duh... HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry, I didn't have time to appropriately address my weight loss this morning as I was dashing off to work (late AGAIN), but now I have a few minutes. DAMN!!! This thing is really working.... I got on the scale this morning and saw that I am eerily close to the left side of 200 which is all I really wanted in the first place, and I still have eight days to go! Aww, shucks... I'm 'bout to get back in my "skinny jeans" before this is all over :)
Morning weight: 201.2 (-7.4 pounds)
11:37 ADDENDUM: Cuz I'm a brick... duh duh duh duh... HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry, I didn't have time to appropriately address my weight loss this morning as I was dashing off to work (late AGAIN), but now I have a few minutes. DAMN!!! This thing is really working.... I got on the scale this morning and saw that I am eerily close to the left side of 200 which is all I really wanted in the first place, and I still have eight days to go! Aww, shucks... I'm 'bout to get back in my "skinny jeans" before this is all over :)
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Day Five
For one that ONE person out there who might still give a damn about me losing weight, I am sorry. I was runnin CRAZY late this morning and completely forgot to weight myself. So I will have to wait until tomorrow to see how much (if any) weight I lost yesterday and today. Maybe the larger number will make me feel like I am accomplishing more! We will do anything to trick ourselves into feeling good, won't we?
And I am sorry about the pictures in yesterday's blog. I tried re-posting them three different times, and they will only stay visible on the blog for a few hours. All I'm getting now is little white boxes with red x's in them. SIGH... so much for turning this into a pornographic blog :) Peace...
And I am sorry about the pictures in yesterday's blog. I tried re-posting them three different times, and they will only stay visible on the blog for a few hours. All I'm getting now is little white boxes with red x's in them. SIGH... so much for turning this into a pornographic blog :) Peace...
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Please Do Not Touch, Lick, Fondle, or Mount the Exhibits
This was the sign that greeted my entry into the New York Museum of Sex, or MoSex as it will be hereafter deemed. In my haste to get inside without anyone on the street thinking I was some kind of perv, I completely forgot to take a picture of the sign outside. But it was nothing remarkable....
So I get inside and am greeted by a rather handsome man behind the counter who takes my money and tells me to have a "wonderful time" (uh, okay...). There are three exhibits on three different floors. The first exhibit was Peeping, Probing & Porn: Four Centuries of Graphic Sex in Japan. Okay, so who knew that the geisha were gettin down like THAT??? That exhibit is where most of the pictures are from. There were all of these exqamples of Japanese art, comic strips, and even anime (YES, pornographic anime!!)... and the pictures were incredibly graphic.
Apparently, in Japanese culture, it is traditional to depict the genitalia in very exaggerated, larger than life format. So all of the women's breasts were like GGG and the penises were... well, let's just say that if you listen to Wendy Williams, you would say, "Put that where? Back there!!"
The second floor was Stags, Smokers, and Blue Movies: The Origins of American Pronographic Film. No pictures from here because it was just a bunch of television screens showing reels of really, really old porn. Now it disturbs me TREMENDOUSLY to think that somewhere in the deep South, mass was trying to convince my great great great grandmother to "yeah, do it like that mama!" Anyway... not much excitement there.
The third floor (and in my opinion, the best floor in the museum) was Spotlight on the Permanent Collection. This was basically a collection of things collected from thousands of peoples' private collections.... original vibrators, art, videos, stuff like that. And then there was this chair...
Boy oh boy if I had THAT bad boy in the house... Toward the end of the exhibit there was this collection of videos, letters, etc., and one in particular jumped out at me....
I assume yall can read the title. Why oh why?? This next picture was interesting to me because it reminded me of a certain person and his many references to that "sweet white nectar" or whatever it is that he always says.
These last few pictures are of various types of really, really old vibrators and other devices of pleasure for women (I think). Ladies, what about that drill with the penis on the end? Oh hell naw....
This last one just speaks for itself... yall figure it out.
So this is how I spent my afternoon... whatcha think???? Oh yeah, and this is what I came home with :)
So I get inside and am greeted by a rather handsome man behind the counter who takes my money and tells me to have a "wonderful time" (uh, okay...). There are three exhibits on three different floors. The first exhibit was Peeping, Probing & Porn: Four Centuries of Graphic Sex in Japan. Okay, so who knew that the geisha were gettin down like THAT??? That exhibit is where most of the pictures are from. There were all of these exqamples of Japanese art, comic strips, and even anime (YES, pornographic anime!!)... and the pictures were incredibly graphic.
Apparently, in Japanese culture, it is traditional to depict the genitalia in very exaggerated, larger than life format. So all of the women's breasts were like GGG and the penises were... well, let's just say that if you listen to Wendy Williams, you would say, "Put that where? Back there!!"
The second floor was Stags, Smokers, and Blue Movies: The Origins of American Pronographic Film. No pictures from here because it was just a bunch of television screens showing reels of really, really old porn. Now it disturbs me TREMENDOUSLY to think that somewhere in the deep South, mass was trying to convince my great great great grandmother to "yeah, do it like that mama!" Anyway... not much excitement there.
The third floor (and in my opinion, the best floor in the museum) was Spotlight on the Permanent Collection. This was basically a collection of things collected from thousands of peoples' private collections.... original vibrators, art, videos, stuff like that. And then there was this chair...
Boy oh boy if I had THAT bad boy in the house... Toward the end of the exhibit there was this collection of videos, letters, etc., and one in particular jumped out at me....
I assume yall can read the title. Why oh why?? This next picture was interesting to me because it reminded me of a certain person and his many references to that "sweet white nectar" or whatever it is that he always says.
These last few pictures are of various types of really, really old vibrators and other devices of pleasure for women (I think). Ladies, what about that drill with the penis on the end? Oh hell naw....
This last one just speaks for itself... yall figure it out.
So this is how I spent my afternoon... whatcha think???? Oh yeah, and this is what I came home with :)
Day Four
Sorry guys. I know you were probably waiting for a post on MoSex, but I haven't left home yet. And I just couldn't wait to report today's weight loss!! Don't worry - a full report will be forthcoming this afternoon/evening.
Morning weight: 201.6 (-7.0 pounds)
Morning weight: 201.6 (-7.0 pounds)
Monday, September 18, 2006
Boo, Nigga Boo
If you know me, you know that the results of this are HILARIOUS.
More importantly, how does 60, 55, 55, 55, and 50 add up to 100%?????
| American Cities That Best Fit You:: |
| 60% San Diego |
| 55% Austin |
| 55% Honolulu |
| 55% Portland |
| 50% Atlanta |
More importantly, how does 60, 55, 55, 55, and 50 add up to 100%?????
Day Three
Today was a short one. I'll just write what I really wanted to write yesterday but was too busy at work.
So I was returning to work from getting my eyebrows arched, and my cab stopped at a light on the corner of 5th Avenue and 27th Street. As usual, I was looking out the window people watching, and I almost slammed on the brakes (oh wait, I wasn't driving) when I saw The Museum of Sex, or as New Yorkers apparently like to call it, "MoSex." WHAT??? As soon as I got back to my desk, I googled that boy. Now, I know what you're saying: I was too busy to blog, but I wasn't too busy to look up a museum devoted entirely to sex, right? Damn right. So I now know where I will be spending my day off tomorrow.... RIGHT HERE. And loving EVERY minute of it. I can't imagine a better way to spend a Tuesday afternoon than aimlessly walking among pictorial representations of the evolution of the vibrator and hourly IMAX movies on the American history of pornography. YES!!! Bring on the sex :)
And oh, by the way, the cleanse is going okay too. I decided to abandon the morning salt water flushes because I just can't finish them. So I am doubling up on the tea and hoping that it won't matter too much.
Morning weight: 203.8 (-4.8 pounds)
So I was returning to work from getting my eyebrows arched, and my cab stopped at a light on the corner of 5th Avenue and 27th Street. As usual, I was looking out the window people watching, and I almost slammed on the brakes (oh wait, I wasn't driving) when I saw The Museum of Sex, or as New Yorkers apparently like to call it, "MoSex." WHAT??? As soon as I got back to my desk, I googled that boy. Now, I know what you're saying: I was too busy to blog, but I wasn't too busy to look up a museum devoted entirely to sex, right? Damn right. So I now know where I will be spending my day off tomorrow.... RIGHT HERE. And loving EVERY minute of it. I can't imagine a better way to spend a Tuesday afternoon than aimlessly walking among pictorial representations of the evolution of the vibrator and hourly IMAX movies on the American history of pornography. YES!!! Bring on the sex :)
And oh, by the way, the cleanse is going okay too. I decided to abandon the morning salt water flushes because I just can't finish them. So I am doubling up on the tea and hoping that it won't matter too much.
Morning weight: 203.8 (-4.8 pounds)
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Day Two
Not too much work news this morning - but it's only 10:20. Maybe something will pop off later in the afternoon.
Day two of the Master Cleanse. So those of you who are already tired of hearing about it, I apologize. But my only accountability is on this blog because any friends I have who would normally check up on me to see if I've cheated live 200 miles (or more) away. So hang in there with me - only 12 more days :) I hate admitting this (and I hate even more that I did it), but I cheated yesterday. When I got home from work, I ate a couple of saltine crackers. I felt miserable the whole time I was eating them, so I threw the rest down the trash chute in the hall. I know that I have to do better, but I had convinced myself that a few crackers wouldn't hurt. But the whole point is self discipline, not whether or not a few itemsof food will affect the cleanse. So I made a promise to myself not to fall off the wagon again (I feel like an addict!), and I went to sleep.
This morning sucked again (that damn salt water flush!). I wasn't able to get as much down as I did yesterday, so as I result, I feel like I cheated myself out of the full effects. But I did the best I could - maybe I can do more tomorrow. Today's lemonade is MUCH better than yesterday's since I wasn't quite so heavy handed with the cayenne pepper. I've already had more today than I had the whole time I was at work yesterday, so that's good. It's just that I am SO hungry. I don't think I realized how difficult it would be to go from such an unhealthy diet full of grease and carbs to this - I should have, but I didn't (so much for being a medical professional!). And the staff is upset with me because I didn't bring in doughnuts this morning like the other resident did yesterday. Screw that - if I have to suffer, everybody suffers. You want doughnuts? Dunkin Donuts is directly across the street - hustle over there and eat one for me AND you. Half of them are always crying about their weights anyway, so consider this a push in the right direction -my next weekend working I'll bring in some salad :)
Morning weight: 205.0 (-3.6 pounds)
Day two of the Master Cleanse. So those of you who are already tired of hearing about it, I apologize. But my only accountability is on this blog because any friends I have who would normally check up on me to see if I've cheated live 200 miles (or more) away. So hang in there with me - only 12 more days :) I hate admitting this (and I hate even more that I did it), but I cheated yesterday. When I got home from work, I ate a couple of saltine crackers. I felt miserable the whole time I was eating them, so I threw the rest down the trash chute in the hall. I know that I have to do better, but I had convinced myself that a few crackers wouldn't hurt. But the whole point is self discipline, not whether or not a few itemsof food will affect the cleanse. So I made a promise to myself not to fall off the wagon again (I feel like an addict!), and I went to sleep.
This morning sucked again (that damn salt water flush!). I wasn't able to get as much down as I did yesterday, so as I result, I feel like I cheated myself out of the full effects. But I did the best I could - maybe I can do more tomorrow. Today's lemonade is MUCH better than yesterday's since I wasn't quite so heavy handed with the cayenne pepper. I've already had more today than I had the whole time I was at work yesterday, so that's good. It's just that I am SO hungry. I don't think I realized how difficult it would be to go from such an unhealthy diet full of grease and carbs to this - I should have, but I didn't (so much for being a medical professional!). And the staff is upset with me because I didn't bring in doughnuts this morning like the other resident did yesterday. Screw that - if I have to suffer, everybody suffers. You want doughnuts? Dunkin Donuts is directly across the street - hustle over there and eat one for me AND you. Half of them are always crying about their weights anyway, so consider this a push in the right direction -my next weekend working I'll bring in some salad :)
Morning weight: 205.0 (-3.6 pounds)
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Day One
If you hadn't noticed, when I have to work on the weekends, I tend to blog alot. There isn't much going on here, and I need something to relieve the tedium. This was actually supposed to tbe the first postof the day, but as usual, I got caught up in reading about other people's lives, and forgot all about my own (for about one second). So here is a brief update about my Master Cleanse quest.
Okay, so I hate it already. I drank the tea last night and went to bed. No problem. I set my alarm for 4:30 this morning so that I could get up and chug the sea salt water (apparently you need to give yourself some time to "recuperate" after that, and I had to be out of the house for work by 7:00. Now THAT was a terrible experience. It took almpst 15 minutes, but I was able to get it down. Fast forward past the unpleasantness following that. Now I am at work, and I am STARVING. My dumb ass coresident (after she HEARD me say that I couldn't eat anything) brings in two boxes of doughnuts. Then she proceeds to eat her lunch and comment repeatedly on how tasty it is. SIGH.... but the upside is that I don't have a headache yet (like I usually would after not eating by this time of day). Hopefully what they say is true and by day three I will stop having a desire for solid food.
Morning weight: 206.8 (-1.8 pounds)
Okay, so I hate it already. I drank the tea last night and went to bed. No problem. I set my alarm for 4:30 this morning so that I could get up and chug the sea salt water (apparently you need to give yourself some time to "recuperate" after that, and I had to be out of the house for work by 7:00. Now THAT was a terrible experience. It took almpst 15 minutes, but I was able to get it down. Fast forward past the unpleasantness following that. Now I am at work, and I am STARVING. My dumb ass coresident (after she HEARD me say that I couldn't eat anything) brings in two boxes of doughnuts. Then she proceeds to eat her lunch and comment repeatedly on how tasty it is. SIGH.... but the upside is that I don't have a headache yet (like I usually would after not eating by this time of day). Hopefully what they say is true and by day three I will stop having a desire for solid food.
Morning weight: 206.8 (-1.8 pounds)
As If You Haven't Heard Enough Random Facts About Me
1. How tall are you barefoot? 6 feet
2. Have you ever flown first-class? Yes
3. One of your favorite books when you were a child? Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day and all things Amelia Bedelia
4. A good restaurant in your city? Buddhakan
5. What is your favorite small appliance? microwave
6. One person that never fails to make you laugh? Jarrod
7. What’s your favorite Christmas song? At the risk of sounding like a Scrooge, Christmas music drives me insane. But if I had to pick, I would say Oh Holy Night
8. What was the first music that you ever bought? I don't remember the first one that I bought with my own money, but my dad bought me The Greatest Love of All by Whitney Houston
9. Do you do push-ups? Hahahahahahahaha.... sorry. *Ahem* No.
10. What was one of your favorite games as a child? Clue, Monopoly, Simon Says, Red Light Green Light, kickball
11. What is the one thing that you cook that always receives compliments? my three meat three cheese baked spaghetti
12. When you were twelve years old, what did you want to be when you grew up? a doctor
13. Your favorite Soup of the Day? broccoli and cheese
14. What in your life are you most grateful for? my mother adopting me
15. Have you ever met someone famous? BEYONCE!!!!!!!!!! Sorry again. *Ahem* Beyonce.
16. Date Of Birth? September 22, 1977
17. Top 3 thoughts at this exact moment: a. I am so hungry; b. I am REALLY ready to go home; c. I hate this job
18. Three people you're thinking about right now: a. my mom because on Monday it will have been three years since she passed away; b. my manager because she's calling on the phone, but I'm ignoring it; and c. my friend Kelly because I know she would really be interested in hearing about this diet
19. Name five drinks you regularly drink: Coke, water, some fantastic soda from Target that I can never remember the brand name of, tea, Nantucket Nactar's Half -n- Half
20. From what news source do you receive the bulk of your news? unfortunately, the radio
21. Current hair? a bob-like style (really praying for it to grow out so I can have a REAL bob)
22. Current worry? getting a part-time job and staying on this cleanse for the full 14 days
23. Current hate? NYPD because they almost made me dent my ride this morning
24. Favorite place to be? in my bed
25. Least favorite place to be? work
26. Do you consider yourself well organized? I try to be - I used to be much better
27. Do you believe in an afterlife? absolutely
28. Where do you think you will be in 10 years? literally or metaphorically? I have no idea where my body will be, but hopefully it will be somewhere with a job that I love and a family
29. Do you burn or tan? both - burn first, tan later
30. Who was the last blogger you hung out with? PYT
31. Are you more optimistic or pessimistic about the future? I try to be optimistic
32. Last time you had an alcoholic drink? I can't remember... I think it was at my friend's husband's birthday party several weeks ago
33. What songs do you sing in the shower? Currently I switch between Showstopper, Irreplaceable, and Sexyback
34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a kid? I don't remember having those fears
35. What’s in your pockets right now? lint
36. Last thing that made you laugh? this video that I saw on someone's blog
37. Best bed sheets you had as a child? Strawberry Shortcake
38. Worst injury you’ve ever had? torn ligaments in my knee
39. Favorite song? Ever? Hmm.... A Song for You by Donny Hathaway and Dangerously in Love by Beyonce (it makes me cry EVERY time)
40. How many TVs do you own? two
41. In the last calendar year, how many people have you told that you love them? Hmm.... I think around 10.
42. Last person that made you blush? can't remember
43. Best compliment received? "Your mother would be so proud of you, Monique"
44. What song is in your head? Sexyback
45. What is your favorite book? can't decide right now
46. Last meal you cooked for the opposite sex? I think it was spaghetti, right?
47. What songs do you want played at your wedding? too many to name (please, no Electric Slide)
48. What song do you want played at your funeral? Praise Is What I Do
49. What were you doing at 12 midnight last night? sleeping
50. What would you like to accomplish with the remaining years of your life? be a success in love and life
2. Have you ever flown first-class? Yes
3. One of your favorite books when you were a child? Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day and all things Amelia Bedelia
4. A good restaurant in your city? Buddhakan
5. What is your favorite small appliance? microwave
6. One person that never fails to make you laugh? Jarrod
7. What’s your favorite Christmas song? At the risk of sounding like a Scrooge, Christmas music drives me insane. But if I had to pick, I would say Oh Holy Night
8. What was the first music that you ever bought? I don't remember the first one that I bought with my own money, but my dad bought me The Greatest Love of All by Whitney Houston
9. Do you do push-ups? Hahahahahahahaha.... sorry. *Ahem* No.
10. What was one of your favorite games as a child? Clue, Monopoly, Simon Says, Red Light Green Light, kickball
11. What is the one thing that you cook that always receives compliments? my three meat three cheese baked spaghetti
12. When you were twelve years old, what did you want to be when you grew up? a doctor
13. Your favorite Soup of the Day? broccoli and cheese
14. What in your life are you most grateful for? my mother adopting me
15. Have you ever met someone famous? BEYONCE!!!!!!!!!! Sorry again. *Ahem* Beyonce.
16. Date Of Birth? September 22, 1977
17. Top 3 thoughts at this exact moment: a. I am so hungry; b. I am REALLY ready to go home; c. I hate this job
18. Three people you're thinking about right now: a. my mom because on Monday it will have been three years since she passed away; b. my manager because she's calling on the phone, but I'm ignoring it; and c. my friend Kelly because I know she would really be interested in hearing about this diet
19. Name five drinks you regularly drink: Coke, water, some fantastic soda from Target that I can never remember the brand name of, tea, Nantucket Nactar's Half -n- Half
20. From what news source do you receive the bulk of your news? unfortunately, the radio
21. Current hair? a bob-like style (really praying for it to grow out so I can have a REAL bob)
22. Current worry? getting a part-time job and staying on this cleanse for the full 14 days
23. Current hate? NYPD because they almost made me dent my ride this morning
24. Favorite place to be? in my bed
25. Least favorite place to be? work
26. Do you consider yourself well organized? I try to be - I used to be much better
27. Do you believe in an afterlife? absolutely
28. Where do you think you will be in 10 years? literally or metaphorically? I have no idea where my body will be, but hopefully it will be somewhere with a job that I love and a family
29. Do you burn or tan? both - burn first, tan later
30. Who was the last blogger you hung out with? PYT
31. Are you more optimistic or pessimistic about the future? I try to be optimistic
32. Last time you had an alcoholic drink? I can't remember... I think it was at my friend's husband's birthday party several weeks ago
33. What songs do you sing in the shower? Currently I switch between Showstopper, Irreplaceable, and Sexyback
34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a kid? I don't remember having those fears
35. What’s in your pockets right now? lint
36. Last thing that made you laugh? this video that I saw on someone's blog
37. Best bed sheets you had as a child? Strawberry Shortcake
38. Worst injury you’ve ever had? torn ligaments in my knee
39. Favorite song? Ever? Hmm.... A Song for You by Donny Hathaway and Dangerously in Love by Beyonce (it makes me cry EVERY time)
40. How many TVs do you own? two
41. In the last calendar year, how many people have you told that you love them? Hmm.... I think around 10.
42. Last person that made you blush? can't remember
43. Best compliment received? "Your mother would be so proud of you, Monique"
44. What song is in your head? Sexyback
45. What is your favorite book? can't decide right now
46. Last meal you cooked for the opposite sex? I think it was spaghetti, right?
47. What songs do you want played at your wedding? too many to name (please, no Electric Slide)
48. What song do you want played at your funeral? Praise Is What I Do
49. What were you doing at 12 midnight last night? sleeping
50. What would you like to accomplish with the remaining years of your life? be a success in love and life
Friday, September 15, 2006
Master Cleanse
I need to lose weight. Bottom line (no pun intended). I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror the other day (okay, I was closely scrutinizing myself in the mirror), and I was HORRIFIED. At what point did I make the transition from "slim" to "fat?" I was always the skinny girl... 6'0" and 135 pounds. I ate all the time - whatever I wanted, as much as I wanted. Then one day I stepped on the scale and I weighed (shade your eyes if you want to keep your image of me intact) 200 pounds. Two hundred. I have officially transitioned to that girl with :such a pretty face." I used to be FLY - now I have to catch my breath after walking up several flights of stairs in the subway. So it's time to make a change. I am serious this time - no more cartons of Breyers in the freezer and no more Papa Johns delivery at 10:00 p.m. And the first step in this process is the Master Cleanse. Like one of my fellow bloggers, I am driven to make a list of reasons why I am doing this. Maybe if I have something concrete to look at, I will have more motivation when I see an Olive Garden commercial on television. So here are the reasons why I am doing the Master Cleanse:
1. I would like to jump start my weight loss. If at the end of 14 days, some of my pants are not as tight, then I will be motivated to continue altering my diet.
2. I need more energy. On my days off, I may not get out of bed until well after noon. But yet the next day, I can barely drag myself up out of bed. A lot of it is probably secondary to the fact that I hate my job, but this might help me.
3. I need to prove that I can dedicate myself to something and actually see it through. I have always prided myself on my tenacity and perseverance, but as of late, I have been slacking on sticking to the things that are actually good for me. If I can make it to day 14 without faltering, I think it will go a long way toward improving my confidence in myself.
So before I go to bed tonight, I will have my first cup of tea and tomorrow I will start the infamous Master Cleanse. If you have done it, holla at me - I want to hear your stories (both positive and negative). If you just have some words of encouragement, definitely send those. I will be on this damn thing during my birthday (sucks, I know), so I need all the help I can get. Say a prayer, yall...
Love,
The Fatty Formerly Known as Skinny :)
ADDENDUM: Make that 208.6 pounds. It's gotta go.
1. I would like to jump start my weight loss. If at the end of 14 days, some of my pants are not as tight, then I will be motivated to continue altering my diet.
2. I need more energy. On my days off, I may not get out of bed until well after noon. But yet the next day, I can barely drag myself up out of bed. A lot of it is probably secondary to the fact that I hate my job, but this might help me.
3. I need to prove that I can dedicate myself to something and actually see it through. I have always prided myself on my tenacity and perseverance, but as of late, I have been slacking on sticking to the things that are actually good for me. If I can make it to day 14 without faltering, I think it will go a long way toward improving my confidence in myself.
So before I go to bed tonight, I will have my first cup of tea and tomorrow I will start the infamous Master Cleanse. If you have done it, holla at me - I want to hear your stories (both positive and negative). If you just have some words of encouragement, definitely send those. I will be on this damn thing during my birthday (sucks, I know), so I need all the help I can get. Say a prayer, yall...
Love,
The Fatty Formerly Known as Skinny :)
ADDENDUM: Make that 208.6 pounds. It's gotta go.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Last One, I Promise
Okay, I know yall are sick to death of hearing about Beyonce, but I just got the picture from the radio station... let's just say that I'm glad I didn't go all the way uptown for this one. I look like I just ate a whole carton of snack cakes and am looking around like, "Is that all?" *deep sigh** DAMN. And to answer the question that I KNOW all of you are asking: yes, I did crop all of the other uglies out of the picture. Just me and my girlfriend : the '06 Bonnie & Clyde, B and me, holla!!
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
B-Day in Review
So everybody knows by now that I spent all day Friday chasing Beyonce around New York City like the true stalker that I am (pause, PYT). So after a little subtle reminder that I had yet to blog about my experiences, here we go...
4:00 a.m. I bolt out of bed and realize that today is the day I FINALLY get to meet my beloved Beyonce! Skip all the boring details, but the final word is that I couldn't decide what to wear that wouldn't make me look like a gigantic cow standing next to her, so I ended up running VERY late. I knew I wasn't going to make it by train in time to meet the Good Morning America guy by 6:15, so I hopped in my car and decided to brave the Holland Tunnel on a weekday morning.
6:25 a.m. I finally get to the corner of 44th and 7th where I'm supposed to sign in and get my VIP wristband. There are a RIDICULOUS number of people standing in line, and they are all looking at me trying to figure out why I am so dressed up at this Godforsaken hour of the morning (duh, its Beyonce!). And in tribute to Jameil who ALWAYS describes her outfits in painstaking detail for us, here is my attempt at the same. I had on a cream colored wife beater with beige lace around the neck and my best "uh oh" jeans (ladies, yall know the ones). I chose my favorite (and never before worn) cafe au lait-colored suede jacket (it was CRAZY cold that morning) to go on top, but the piece de resistance (yes, bitches... that's FRENCH!) was my shoes. I had on some cream linen House of Dereon peep toe pumps with gold and blue beading around the toes and down the back of the heel (these are the same shoes, but mine were cream)
8:15 a.m. After I thought I was going to DIE in anticipation, Beyonce's all girl (and ALL FABULOUS) band hit the stage along with Diane Sawyer and Robin Roberts (the former looking VERY puzzled as to why all of these Black people were screaming and chanting "B-Daaaaaaaaaay!!" at the tops of their lungs!). And just as I got out my camera and put my finger on the button in "ready mode," it happened.... (angels singing in the background!)... Beyonce walked on stage. SIGH..... she had on this bad ass jungle print dress with some gold jewelry, and her hair (which my linesister had firmly instructed me to inspect for signs of a wig) was FABULOUSLY hand spiraled. She sang Deja Vu (minus Jay, what a downer), Crazy in Love, and Irreplaceable before she left to change clothes so they could tape a segment for the Saturday morning show). When she came back, she had on this plain black jersey V-neck dress with this silver wide necklace and these BAD ASS Jimmy Choos (yes, ladies..... the uh oh in Choos). SHe performed Greenlight for the taping and when she was getting ready to leave the stage, everyboldy started chanting for Ring The Alarm. Guys, I'm telling you.... she's only about 5'5" and she is so small these days since losing all of that weight for Dreamgirls, but she has such an incredible stage presence. She seemed so genuinely happy and humbled by all of the love she was getting from the crowd - she even signed this little girl's cast who was standing in the front row :) Anyway, she said that she was really tired (she had just gotten back from Japan a few days earlier) and she wanted to rest her voice, but she knew we wanted to hear Ring the Alarm, so she would sing "a little bit of it." A little bit turned into the whole song, and then she left the stage.
2:45 p.m. (This is turning into a much longer saga than I meant for it to, so I apologize to those of you who could really care less). I spent the last several hours in Times Square and having lunch at Planet Hollywood because I didn't want to be too far away from the venue for the meet and greet in case they started to form a line (you know I had to get the good seats!). I got into a little argument with some stupid chicks from Queens which I won't even bother telling you about because it was just SO stupid. Fast forward... we get inside, go up to the fourth floor, I RUN for the front table because it is in the center of the floor and DIRECTLY in front of where Beyonce was going to be sitting with Ed Lover for the radio show. Sure enough, a few minutes later Beyonce walks in (with this cute little House of Dereon top on... I don't care for too much of their stuff, but this was cute). During one of the commercial breaks, I decided that I HAD to talk to her, so I yelled out "Beyonce!" She looks up and I said, "Look at my shoes!" (I know, it was pitiful, but I wanted her to talk to me!). She looks real puzzled about why in the world some regular girl would want her to look at her shows, so I lifted my foot up and said it again. She looked down at the shoes, and this huge smile crosses her face. She said, "Hey! Those are MY shoes! They look soooo cute on your feet!" At this point, yall know I was cheezin like I had just won the lottery or something... Beyonce said my shoes were cute :) Anyway... they let us take pictures with her, but only in groups of six. So unless you were standing immediately next to her, you ended up with a worthless picture of Beyonce, you, and five random people you had never met. So of course, I immediately start scheming on how I can get next to her so that I can just crop those other losers out of the picture when I get home! When I go up on the stage for the picture, she said, "Hey! It's the girl with the cute shoes!" I smiled and said thank you, and then she said (and this almost made me pass out), "You are so beautiful!" Yall, I'm telling the truth... Beyonce Giselle Knowles said that I (little old me) was beautiful. I was DONE! Never mind that she was probably just being polite or that she was just searching for something to say since I was towering over her with this goofy ass smile on my face... she said that I was beautiful, and THAT, my friends, will go down in history as the best compliment I have EVER received! After the picture was taken and I left the stage, she answered a few more questions and then she had to leave because she was signing CD's at Macys in Herald Square.
Sooooooooooooo... after much ado, that was my B-Day story. I know it probably wasn't very exciting for yall to read, but I had the time of my life. I never thought that I would get close enough to Beyonce to tell her how much I love her music and how much I appreciated the fact that she is every bit as genuine and warm as she seems in the media. But I did, and by tomorrow afternoon, I should have the photo to prove it (hope it came out okay!). If so, I will post it in another blog. I took a ton of pictures, so if you want to see them, just email me and I will send you the link. I didn't cry (thank God!) like some people did, but I had this HUGE smile on my face the ENTIRE day. Plus I met two really cool girls at the concert and now maybe I'll have someone to hang out with on one of my few days off. YEAH!
4:00 a.m. I bolt out of bed and realize that today is the day I FINALLY get to meet my beloved Beyonce! Skip all the boring details, but the final word is that I couldn't decide what to wear that wouldn't make me look like a gigantic cow standing next to her, so I ended up running VERY late. I knew I wasn't going to make it by train in time to meet the Good Morning America guy by 6:15, so I hopped in my car and decided to brave the Holland Tunnel on a weekday morning.
6:25 a.m. I finally get to the corner of 44th and 7th where I'm supposed to sign in and get my VIP wristband. There are a RIDICULOUS number of people standing in line, and they are all looking at me trying to figure out why I am so dressed up at this Godforsaken hour of the morning (duh, its Beyonce!). And in tribute to Jameil who ALWAYS describes her outfits in painstaking detail for us, here is my attempt at the same. I had on a cream colored wife beater with beige lace around the neck and my best "uh oh" jeans (ladies, yall know the ones). I chose my favorite (and never before worn) cafe au lait-colored suede jacket (it was CRAZY cold that morning) to go on top, but the piece de resistance (yes, bitches... that's FRENCH!) was my shoes. I had on some cream linen House of Dereon peep toe pumps with gold and blue beading around the toes and down the back of the heel (these are the same shoes, but mine were cream)
8:15 a.m. After I thought I was going to DIE in anticipation, Beyonce's all girl (and ALL FABULOUS) band hit the stage along with Diane Sawyer and Robin Roberts (the former looking VERY puzzled as to why all of these Black people were screaming and chanting "B-Daaaaaaaaaay!!" at the tops of their lungs!). And just as I got out my camera and put my finger on the button in "ready mode," it happened.... (angels singing in the background!)... Beyonce walked on stage. SIGH..... she had on this bad ass jungle print dress with some gold jewelry, and her hair (which my linesister had firmly instructed me to inspect for signs of a wig) was FABULOUSLY hand spiraled. She sang Deja Vu (minus Jay, what a downer), Crazy in Love, and Irreplaceable before she left to change clothes so they could tape a segment for the Saturday morning show). When she came back, she had on this plain black jersey V-neck dress with this silver wide necklace and these BAD ASS Jimmy Choos (yes, ladies..... the uh oh in Choos). SHe performed Greenlight for the taping and when she was getting ready to leave the stage, everyboldy started chanting for Ring The Alarm. Guys, I'm telling you.... she's only about 5'5" and she is so small these days since losing all of that weight for Dreamgirls, but she has such an incredible stage presence. She seemed so genuinely happy and humbled by all of the love she was getting from the crowd - she even signed this little girl's cast who was standing in the front row :) Anyway, she said that she was really tired (she had just gotten back from Japan a few days earlier) and she wanted to rest her voice, but she knew we wanted to hear Ring the Alarm, so she would sing "a little bit of it." A little bit turned into the whole song, and then she left the stage.
2:45 p.m. (This is turning into a much longer saga than I meant for it to, so I apologize to those of you who could really care less). I spent the last several hours in Times Square and having lunch at Planet Hollywood because I didn't want to be too far away from the venue for the meet and greet in case they started to form a line (you know I had to get the good seats!). I got into a little argument with some stupid chicks from Queens which I won't even bother telling you about because it was just SO stupid. Fast forward... we get inside, go up to the fourth floor, I RUN for the front table because it is in the center of the floor and DIRECTLY in front of where Beyonce was going to be sitting with Ed Lover for the radio show. Sure enough, a few minutes later Beyonce walks in (with this cute little House of Dereon top on... I don't care for too much of their stuff, but this was cute). During one of the commercial breaks, I decided that I HAD to talk to her, so I yelled out "Beyonce!" She looks up and I said, "Look at my shoes!" (I know, it was pitiful, but I wanted her to talk to me!). She looks real puzzled about why in the world some regular girl would want her to look at her shows, so I lifted my foot up and said it again. She looked down at the shoes, and this huge smile crosses her face. She said, "Hey! Those are MY shoes! They look soooo cute on your feet!" At this point, yall know I was cheezin like I had just won the lottery or something... Beyonce said my shoes were cute :) Anyway... they let us take pictures with her, but only in groups of six. So unless you were standing immediately next to her, you ended up with a worthless picture of Beyonce, you, and five random people you had never met. So of course, I immediately start scheming on how I can get next to her so that I can just crop those other losers out of the picture when I get home! When I go up on the stage for the picture, she said, "Hey! It's the girl with the cute shoes!" I smiled and said thank you, and then she said (and this almost made me pass out), "You are so beautiful!" Yall, I'm telling the truth... Beyonce Giselle Knowles said that I (little old me) was beautiful. I was DONE! Never mind that she was probably just being polite or that she was just searching for something to say since I was towering over her with this goofy ass smile on my face... she said that I was beautiful, and THAT, my friends, will go down in history as the best compliment I have EVER received! After the picture was taken and I left the stage, she answered a few more questions and then she had to leave because she was signing CD's at Macys in Herald Square.
Sooooooooooooo... after much ado, that was my B-Day story. I know it probably wasn't very exciting for yall to read, but I had the time of my life. I never thought that I would get close enough to Beyonce to tell her how much I love her music and how much I appreciated the fact that she is every bit as genuine and warm as she seems in the media. But I did, and by tomorrow afternoon, I should have the photo to prove it (hope it came out okay!). If so, I will post it in another blog. I took a ton of pictures, so if you want to see them, just email me and I will send you the link. I didn't cry (thank God!) like some people did, but I had this HUGE smile on my face the ENTIRE day. Plus I met two really cool girls at the concert and now maybe I'll have someone to hang out with on one of my few days off. YEAH!
Saturday, September 09, 2006
More Stolen Merchandise
I'll write about my B-Day later (maybe tomorrow)... I'm still shaking my head in disbelief! In the meantime, I am stealing again....
1. 4th grade teacher's name: Mrs. Topping
2. Last words you said to your mom: It's okay to go now. I'm here and I love you.
3. Last song you sang: "Get Me Bodied" by Beyonce
4. Last person you hugged: Nikki
5. Last thing you laughed at: Melissa's blog
6. Last time you said I love you and meant it: yesterday to my friend Kelly
7. Last time you cried: when I saw "When the Levees Broke" last weekend
8. What color socks are you wearing: none. I'm in the bed
9. What's under your bed: nothing, my bed is level with the floor
10. What time did you wake up today: 8:30 a.m.
11. Current Taste: Cap'n Crunch
12. Current hair: ponytail
13. Current annoyance: the fact that I don't have any fabulous plans for such a beautiful day
14. Current bad habit: being bossy
15. Current longing: the picture of me and Beyonce that the DJ took yesterday and love
16. Current desktop background: Vegas skyline
17. Met/Talked to any hot girls/guys lately: Met and talked to Beyonce yesterday
18. If you could play any instrument: the piano
19. Favorite color(s): red, brown, yellow, orange
20. How tall are you: 6'0"
21. Current favorite word/saying: bitch queen
22. Favorite book: nothing right now
23. Favorite season: fall
24. Favorite article of clothing: this grey tshirt that I have
25. Favorite age: now isn't quite so bad
26. What is your career going to be like: hopefully short and lucrative
27. How many kids do you want: 2
*HAVE YOU EVER...*
28. Said "I love you": yes
29. Gotten in a fight with your dog/cat/bird/fish: no. Stone knows better.
30. Been to New York: yes, work there
31. Been to the Bahamas: no
32. Been to California: yes
33. Been to Hawaii: recently
34. Been to Bermuda: yes, when I was 13
35. Been to China: no
36: Been to Ireland?: no
37. Dreamed something really crazy and then it happened the next day: unfortunately, yes
38. Fallen in love with a friend? yes
39. Gotten into a fight? (smile) not too long ago
40. Stolen anything? yes
41. Gotten married? almost....
42. Do you have a crush on someone: if by crush you mean I have feelings for someone that I am not in a relationship with, then yes
43. What book are you reading now?: Judge and Jury by James Patterson and Andrew Cross
44. What is the first thing you think when you wake up in the morning? it's too damn early
45. How many rings before you answer: usually like 2
46. Future daughter's names: I'm not sharing
47. Future son's names: My husband's name
48. What do you sleep with: my dog
49. What do you do before you go to sleep? Wrap up my hair and set my alarm clock
50. What do you wear to sleep in: shorts and a tank top
51. Where are you: at my desk in my bedroom
52. Where do you wish you were: somewhere else
53. Piercings: just my ears
*THE EXTRA STUFF*
54. What kind of Shampoo and Conditioner do you use?: currently Mizani
55. Who is the last person that called you: a bill collector
56. Where do you want to have your honeymoon? Bora Bora
57. If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be? I'd be thinner
58. Hate: hate, pettiness, liars, being broke
59. Been In Love: yes
60. Are you timely or always late: usually timely
61. Do you have a job: yes
62. Do you like being around people: depends on the people
63. Best feeling in the world: that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when the man tht you love smiles at you across the room
64. Miss someone right now?: yes
65. Are you a health freak: hahahahahahahahaha... sorry, no
66. Do you have a "Type" of person you always go after: not anymore
67. Are you lonely right now: yes
68. Do you want kids: yes
*THE LAST 48 HOURS, HAVE YOU...*
69. Cried: no
70. Bought something: food
71. Gotten sick: no
72. Sang: yes. I was singing all day yesterday
73. Said I love You: yes
74. Wanted to tell someone you loved them: yes
75. Moved On: working on it
76. Talked to someone: yes
77. Had a serious talk: no
78. Missed someone: didn't I just answer this?
79. Hugged someone: yes
80. Yelled at someone: yes - this dumb ass lady was trying to... never mind, but she had it coming,
81. Dreamed about someone you can't be with: yes
82. Fallen down: yes
83. Seen a movie: no
84. Talked on the phone: yes
85. Had sex: HA! no sadly not.
1. 4th grade teacher's name: Mrs. Topping
2. Last words you said to your mom: It's okay to go now. I'm here and I love you.
3. Last song you sang: "Get Me Bodied" by Beyonce
4. Last person you hugged: Nikki
5. Last thing you laughed at: Melissa's blog
6. Last time you said I love you and meant it: yesterday to my friend Kelly
7. Last time you cried: when I saw "When the Levees Broke" last weekend
8. What color socks are you wearing: none. I'm in the bed
9. What's under your bed: nothing, my bed is level with the floor
10. What time did you wake up today: 8:30 a.m.
11. Current Taste: Cap'n Crunch
12. Current hair: ponytail
13. Current annoyance: the fact that I don't have any fabulous plans for such a beautiful day
14. Current bad habit: being bossy
15. Current longing: the picture of me and Beyonce that the DJ took yesterday and love
16. Current desktop background: Vegas skyline
17. Met/Talked to any hot girls/guys lately: Met and talked to Beyonce yesterday
18. If you could play any instrument: the piano
19. Favorite color(s): red, brown, yellow, orange
20. How tall are you: 6'0"
21. Current favorite word/saying: bitch queen
22. Favorite book: nothing right now
23. Favorite season: fall
24. Favorite article of clothing: this grey tshirt that I have
25. Favorite age: now isn't quite so bad
26. What is your career going to be like: hopefully short and lucrative
27. How many kids do you want: 2
*HAVE YOU EVER...*
28. Said "I love you": yes
29. Gotten in a fight with your dog/cat/bird/fish: no. Stone knows better.
30. Been to New York: yes, work there
31. Been to the Bahamas: no
32. Been to California: yes
33. Been to Hawaii: recently
34. Been to Bermuda: yes, when I was 13
35. Been to China: no
36: Been to Ireland?: no
37. Dreamed something really crazy and then it happened the next day: unfortunately, yes
38. Fallen in love with a friend? yes
39. Gotten into a fight? (smile) not too long ago
40. Stolen anything? yes
41. Gotten married? almost....
42. Do you have a crush on someone: if by crush you mean I have feelings for someone that I am not in a relationship with, then yes
43. What book are you reading now?: Judge and Jury by James Patterson and Andrew Cross
44. What is the first thing you think when you wake up in the morning? it's too damn early
45. How many rings before you answer: usually like 2
46. Future daughter's names: I'm not sharing
47. Future son's names: My husband's name
48. What do you sleep with: my dog
49. What do you do before you go to sleep? Wrap up my hair and set my alarm clock
50. What do you wear to sleep in: shorts and a tank top
51. Where are you: at my desk in my bedroom
52. Where do you wish you were: somewhere else
53. Piercings: just my ears
*THE EXTRA STUFF*
54. What kind of Shampoo and Conditioner do you use?: currently Mizani
55. Who is the last person that called you: a bill collector
56. Where do you want to have your honeymoon? Bora Bora
57. If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be? I'd be thinner
58. Hate: hate, pettiness, liars, being broke
59. Been In Love: yes
60. Are you timely or always late: usually timely
61. Do you have a job: yes
62. Do you like being around people: depends on the people
63. Best feeling in the world: that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when the man tht you love smiles at you across the room
64. Miss someone right now?: yes
65. Are you a health freak: hahahahahahahahaha... sorry, no
66. Do you have a "Type" of person you always go after: not anymore
67. Are you lonely right now: yes
68. Do you want kids: yes
*THE LAST 48 HOURS, HAVE YOU...*
69. Cried: no
70. Bought something: food
71. Gotten sick: no
72. Sang: yes. I was singing all day yesterday
73. Said I love You: yes
74. Wanted to tell someone you loved them: yes
75. Moved On: working on it
76. Talked to someone: yes
77. Had a serious talk: no
78. Missed someone: didn't I just answer this?
79. Hugged someone: yes
80. Yelled at someone: yes - this dumb ass lady was trying to... never mind, but she had it coming,
81. Dreamed about someone you can't be with: yes
82. Fallen down: yes
83. Seen a movie: no
84. Talked on the phone: yes
85. Had sex: HA! no sadly not.
Monday, September 04, 2006
Okay, clearly I am bored out of my mind. I have posted three times in the past 10 hours, and I still have 37 more minutes before I can blow this joint. However, I couldn't let this happen without telling you guys about it (it is starting to sound less funny by the minute, however).
So I am sitting in my office (with the door open because when I close it, I am told that I am sending the "inappropriate message to the staff"). I am finishing the last few pages of "The Devil Wears Prada" (and no, that is not the latest pharmacy journal, for those of you who track my every move!), and I hear this HORRIBLE noise coming from the hallway. As I roll my chair towards the door and over the threshold (no, I just couldn't bear to actually get my ass out of the chair), the noise is getting louder. When I finally reach the hallway, I see this Asian woman (one of the pharmacists) sitting at the computer (yes, the one in the hall that my Chinese compadre suggested I use instead of hers), and she is singing (opera style) "One Moment in Time." I'm talking Whitney Houston, before the crack pipe, balls out, top of her lungs, crooning, "There in that moment of time, it will be, it will beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eternity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" WHAT? It is so time for me to go.
And as a sidebar, I got busted this morning going up on the elevator. It stopped on the second floor (I work on the third), and the doors opened just as I was getting DEEP into my "uh oh" dance rehearsal for Friday's meeting with Beyonce. The nurse who got on the elevator looked absolutely APPALLED, and I couldn't stop myself from laughing out loud. SIGH... the ways we amuse ourselves at work :)
So I am sitting in my office (with the door open because when I close it, I am told that I am sending the "inappropriate message to the staff"). I am finishing the last few pages of "The Devil Wears Prada" (and no, that is not the latest pharmacy journal, for those of you who track my every move!), and I hear this HORRIBLE noise coming from the hallway. As I roll my chair towards the door and over the threshold (no, I just couldn't bear to actually get my ass out of the chair), the noise is getting louder. When I finally reach the hallway, I see this Asian woman (one of the pharmacists) sitting at the computer (yes, the one in the hall that my Chinese compadre suggested I use instead of hers), and she is singing (opera style) "One Moment in Time." I'm talking Whitney Houston, before the crack pipe, balls out, top of her lungs, crooning, "There in that moment of time, it will be, it will beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eternity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" WHAT? It is so time for me to go.
And as a sidebar, I got busted this morning going up on the elevator. It stopped on the second floor (I work on the third), and the doors opened just as I was getting DEEP into my "uh oh" dance rehearsal for Friday's meeting with Beyonce. The nurse who got on the elevator looked absolutely APPALLED, and I couldn't stop myself from laughing out loud. SIGH... the ways we amuse ourselves at work :)
Preacher Man
Oh my goodness! My friend Jen just IM'd me from Los Angeles. She went to church yesterday, and she was telling me that the preacher seemed to be speaking about a certain young man she has been dating. The preacher said (and I quote): "If you are always dating the same type of woman and it isn't working, maybe you should change to a different type. Like if your woman is a control freak, but she is more control than freak, then you need to let her go and find someone else." WHAT????? Can you say that from the pulpit? And if Stacie is reading this... Freak-a-Leak just came on the radio: "MO-NEEK!!!!!!!" YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dude... A Stingray??
Okay, I realize that there is nothing really funny about Steve Irwin dying this morning, but come on, a STINGRAY? Who gets stung by a stingray in the HEART??? This guy is up here wrestling alligators, sneaking up on animals that I can't even pronounce their names, and he gets stung in the heart by a stingray while filming a special in Australia? Man, comedy can be found in the strangesdt places. R.I.P. Crocodile Hunter.
Sunday, September 03, 2006
RING THE ALARM!!!!!!
Oh yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! Sorry, but I am in this weird state of crazed, overwhelming, all-encompassing, slightly orgasmic excitement right now. Why, you ask? Well, let me tell you.
Last night I was at my house in Jersey City giving my dog a bath (after the unintentional one we got when I tried to walk him in Tropical Storm Ernesto). They started playing all of these Beyonce songs on Power 105 and I heard a commercial about winning something... blah, blah, blah.... Friday, blah, blah, blah.... BEYONCE. STOP THE PRESSES. I turned the water off, left the dog in the bathtub, and ran to my room to turn up the radio. They were saying to call in to win, so I frantically pick up my cell phone and my house phone and start dialing 1-800-585-1051. After about a million busy signals and a couple of false alarms where it rung but no one ever picked up, I realized that I was not going to win whatever "it" was that had to do with Beyonce. So I despondently go back to washing my very bewildered dog (who was sitting in my bathtub looking at me like I was the worst owner in the world). Mind you, I don't even know what I have lost, but I know that it had to do with Beyonce, and that in itself had to be a bummer.
Fast forward to 8:30 p.m. I am just getting ready to turn the radio off and go back to reading "The Devil Wears Prada" (fabulous read, by the way) when I heard DJ Whoever She Is (hereafter known as DJ WSI) say that she was going to play the sounder again before the 9:00 hour. Again, I had no idea what I was calling for, but it had to be good if it was about Beyonce, right? So at 8:45 p.m. she played the sounder, and I snatched up my two phones again. Buh-buh-buh-buh-buhhhh (busy signal). Ring ring ring, "Number 100." Click. What the hell does that mean? Was I caller 100? So I dialed on my cell phone one more time and that's when I heard the magic words, "Power 105, who's this?"
Me: Uh, Monique?
DJ WSI: Where are you calling from?
Me: Uh, Jersey City?
DJ WSI: Well did you know that Beyonce has a birthday coming up on Monday?
Me: Um, yes...
DJ WSI: Well how would you like to meet her on Friday at Planet Hollywood, blah blah blah blah.....
Me: AIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGodohmyGodohmyGod!! NO WAY!!! I am going to die!! I love Beyonce! Thank you so much! Thank you!!
DJ WSI: Don't die, then you won't get to meet Beyonce on Friday! Go Monique, it's your birthday (well it's not really your birthday), you're gon' party like it's your birthday!!!
And that's when I lost touch with reality and started singing (AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS), "Ring the alarm! I've been at this too long!! And I'll be damn if I see another chick on your arm!!" WHAT????? So after I was on hold for a while and got to hear how truly ridiculous I sounded on the radio (I have discovered since then that they are playing my call as that one really excited winner at least every hour!), DJ WSI got all of my information and told me that the Promotions Department would call me on Tuesday with the details of my prize. I haven't stopped dancing since. I proceeded to play every Beyonce song that I have on my ipod and dance around my house to the point where the neighbors started banging on the ceiling. I called everyone I knew (but NO ONE was answering the phone!) and leaving these insane voicemail messages. Finally I managed to get PYT who drummed up at least a little excitement for me (thanks, man.
Well, boys and girls, your blogger pal Monique is going to get her dream.... I AM GOING TO MEET BEYONCE ON FRIDAY!!!!!! So if you never hear from me again, it's because I died in Times Square, but please believe that it was with a glad heart :)
Friday, September 01, 2006
Oh So Pretty....
I look pretty.
Okay, for those of you who know me, you are probably scratching your heads and thinking to yourself, "Somthing must be wrong. Monique NEVER says she looks pretty. As a matter of fact, every time she even HEARS the word 'pretty,' she goes and finds her brightest red and white shirt and breaks out in the Sweetheart Song!" (you got THAT right!)
But today, I am sort of in shock: I really do look pretty. I got my hair done yesterday, and my stylist convinced me to let her set my hair on these weird twisty, bended rod-like contraptions. She swore that I would come out with these bautiful curls all over my head. "Now Tina, are you sure that my hair isn't too short for that?" She said no. "Tina, are you certain that I won't look like a Q-Tip?" She sighed, but stuck with no. "Okay Tina, are you absolutely POSITIVE that I won't look like I have a giant frizball on my head?" She then just pushed me down in the chair and turned on the water. When my hair was FINALLY finished drying (three hours later) and all the weird twisty things were out, I was about to cry. I looked like the posterchild for why white girls get their hair thermally straightened. Too many curls, too much head, not enough confidence. But she just kept saying in this incredibly soothing voice that the curls will fall and it will be beautiful. And (wonder of all wonders), she was right! I just caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror (okay, I just spent ten minutes looking at my hair from every conceivable angle... sheesh, guys!), and I think that I actually do look pretty. Not stunning, not beautiful, but pretty... and actually kinda New York fly. So in a few minutes when I am walking briskly down 5th Avenue toward the subway at Union Square in my cute little denim trench coat (yes, guys... it's CHILLY here today!), I think I might actually feel like I belong here...
I LOOK PRETTY :)
Okay, for those of you who know me, you are probably scratching your heads and thinking to yourself, "Somthing must be wrong. Monique NEVER says she looks pretty. As a matter of fact, every time she even HEARS the word 'pretty,' she goes and finds her brightest red and white shirt and breaks out in the Sweetheart Song!" (you got THAT right!)
But today, I am sort of in shock: I really do look pretty. I got my hair done yesterday, and my stylist convinced me to let her set my hair on these weird twisty, bended rod-like contraptions. She swore that I would come out with these bautiful curls all over my head. "Now Tina, are you sure that my hair isn't too short for that?" She said no. "Tina, are you certain that I won't look like a Q-Tip?" She sighed, but stuck with no. "Okay Tina, are you absolutely POSITIVE that I won't look like I have a giant frizball on my head?" She then just pushed me down in the chair and turned on the water. When my hair was FINALLY finished drying (three hours later) and all the weird twisty things were out, I was about to cry. I looked like the posterchild for why white girls get their hair thermally straightened. Too many curls, too much head, not enough confidence. But she just kept saying in this incredibly soothing voice that the curls will fall and it will be beautiful. And (wonder of all wonders), she was right! I just caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror (okay, I just spent ten minutes looking at my hair from every conceivable angle... sheesh, guys!), and I think that I actually do look pretty. Not stunning, not beautiful, but pretty... and actually kinda New York fly. So in a few minutes when I am walking briskly down 5th Avenue toward the subway at Union Square in my cute little denim trench coat (yes, guys... it's CHILLY here today!), I think I might actually feel like I belong here...
I LOOK PRETTY :)
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