"I'm pretty sure I have to get out of Texas immediately. Why? Because this 11 year old is in here talking about his shotgun! And as a nigga, I feel I should flee!"
That made my day. And, as such, I felt compelled to share it with you. Now... What else can I make a list about? *told yall this was a long day*
"Reasons Why You and Me Could Never Be Us"
*the 'you' is actually several different people, so take it where it applies to you*
1. Because.
2. Because I said so.
3. NO NIGGA!!! You canNOT convince me that I'm wrong!
4. Because you preach to me like you're John the Motherflippin Baptist! I go to church too, ya know? Me and JC happen to be on a first name basis. So... bite me. Besides, something about you and that illegitimate daughter you had with the jumpoff who's been after you since college (12 years ago) tends to cut into your moral credibility just a bit. I'm just sayin...
5. Because you sent me a text message that said "cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war.". **blink** Whaaa??? What the hell does that even mean? And... **throwing up my hands** THAT is precisely why.
6. Because you know me like I know me... sometimes. Okay, okay!! All the time! But whatever though.
7. Because I'm too damn tall for the fetal position.
8. Because I'm scared of your mama... but not too scared to make jokes about Miss Carrie Pearl and Uncle Herb and dem... Tell them elders to hook up my hot link, and I MIGHT lay off the jokes.
9. Because we just spent two (three?) hours texting questions back and forth just because we're both too damn competitive to give up and quit. But for real though... Can I?
10. Because I'm a cougar. And I'm sure to kill your young ass before it's all said and done.
11. Because I'm scared of your girlfriend- I think she could whip my ass even though she's 4'2" and 100 pounds. Remember that time she almost yoked the waitress because she wasn't moving fast enough with the sushi? **smh**
12. Because it's so much more fun this way! Yay! Buddakan/FourSeasons/Castle Spa New York/Charles'/Amy Ruth's/mimosas/Caliente Cab/margaritas/GUACAMOLE!!!!
8 comments:
really with the food at the end? Damn! I agree on all of those points!
YAY #12!!!!
lmao @ #10...he might like getting "killed"!
*side eye* @ #5...WTF?!
Cherry- ALWAYS with the food!
La- yay indeed. I neeeeeeed ALL of those things.
Diva- oh he most definitely would like it *giggle* And as for #5, he's lame.
LOL @ this post and the previous one too!
I can't deal with people who want to tell me about my walk with Jesus. IT'S MINE!! Get your own path. Mines is narrow and hard. You won't fit.
V- right? Cuz when I said "Jesus be a fence," I didn't mean around you AND me! Dag!!!
I agree with #s 1 and 2, lol.
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