**YAWN**

Lord.

Have.

Mercy.

So yeah, I am a proud card-carrying member of the Democratic party. And hell yeah, I am a very vocal, downright obnoxious supporter of Senator Barack Obama. But I mean, really.

That was, quite possibly, the WORST speech I have ever heard. In my life. Yep, that would be including the intention speech of the girl who ran for SCA Secretary when I was in third grade.

JESUS!!!!!!

I kept hoping someone would come along and punch me in the face, thereby killing me and preventing me from spending the rest of this evening in a hell created by Governor Sarah Palin- sorry, Sarah Plain and Tall. Now if it wasn't apparent to you all at home why I was calling her that before, it should soooooo be clear to you now. Aren't you supposed to be such an effective and inspiring speaker that you cannot even get through a sentence without being interrupted by the screams and chants of your rapt audience? Not this gal... she stopped at the end of every third sentence, hoping fervently that someone, ANYONE would clap their hands. I'm sorry Wolf Blitzer, she "hit it out of the park?" This speech proves why "she is such a beloved public official?" Chile, please! You can't possibly be serious! Why am I the only one who feels like this speech tanked? Is it because I support Obama-Biden? Is it because I am Black? Or is it just because I have two eyes and two ears and I actually saw and heard this travesty? All the commentators are raving about it... all the pundits are saying what a clinch performance this was and how Sarah Palin delivered past everyones' expectations. Errr???

This broad got up to that podium and basically decided that she wanted to throw darts at Barack Obama. Wait, I take that back. She bored us to tears with the introduction of her family and the long, drawn out story of her husband and what a great standup guy he is, and THEN she started with the darts. Community organizer doesn't compare to small town mayor? Estabished United States Senator doesn't compare to flash in the pan governor of the darkest, coldest state in the union? CHILE, PLEASE!!!!!! I didn't hear NOT ONE THING that- if I were an undecided voter- would've persuaded me to vote McCain-Palin. Not one thing. And surely those quick flashes of the one Black man, one Black woman, and one Latino woman in the crowd didn't really do it for me either. Maybe I was supposed to be inspired by this country music song "Raisin McCain?"

**puzzled look**

I dunno. But I really am just way too confused. I can be honest with you and say that I wasn't familiar with Joe Biden before he was selected as Barack Obama's running mate- I haven't always been too interested in our beloved political machine. But the minute he started speaking in Denver last week, I was persuaded. And when he finished, I was a supporter. He clearly stated his background, he emphasized his strong points, he elucidated how he planned to support Senator Obama after they were elected, hell... he just MADE SENSE!!!! No age jokes about McCain, no jabs at how he left his first wife and hooked up with the second one, then subsequently broke her arm for looking too long at some Black man on the campaign trail (kidding... sometimes I go too far!)... just a very clear and concise statement of his objectives and how he (and his ticket mate) plan to achieve those goals. What does Sarah Palin do? She makes some lame ass jokes about being a soccer mom and basically holds up a sign that says "I don't know what to say, please don't vote for me."

And this family of hers.... did she REALLY have her pregnant teenaged daughter trot her boyfriend out on stage at the end of her speech... better yet, have him to make sure he was holding Bristol's hand the whole time just so we could BE SURE to take them seriously as a couple? Does anyone else find that to be inapporpriate? If I am running for Vice President of the United States, the LAST thing in the world I feel like championing is my fast ass daughter's ill-adivsed teenaged love affair. They ain't married yet. Hell does preggo even have a ring? Then why the FUCK is that little wide-eyed boy on stage at the Repulican National Convention holding on to his girlfriend's hand, dreaming of a new life in the slick big city of Washington Deeeeeee-Seeeee (YEEHAW!!!).

This speech was a joke. It was a joke and it was an insult to me as an American voter. I will not be persuaded to vote for you just because you have the visual of an "all American family." No thank you, bitter white lady. I'll put my money on the tall, handsome Black man with the genius, elegant wife and the staggeringly bright and beautiful young ladies. Yes, please, I'll have Senator Obama for President.