Its no secret that I'm looking to leave CVS. And since I've decided to both pray on it AND act proactively, I have formulated a list of things that I would like to do and/or say on my last day/night here. Interested? Good...
1. "Hell no I will not page your doctor at 10:30 p.m. because you need a refill on your birth control pills. Shoulda stayed more on top of that pill pack instead of that man! Now beat it."
2. "You seriously think that I'm a racist? Well, hold on... let me dust off my Klan hood and REALLY give your little ass a show!"
3. "What? A complaint? My supervisor? Supervise DESE NUTS!!!!"
4. "Wipe down all countertops and vacuum the floors? Take out the trrash? Um... you did get the memo, right? Ms. Celie wasn't really REAL. That was a movie."
5. Just because your brilliant powers of deduction have told you that I got a new weave doesn't mean you have to work the word "weave" into EVERY goddam conversation we have. FUCK!!!!
6. "Why is the drive thru closed? To encourage lazy motherfuckers like YOU to get out of the car and walk 100 feet into the pharmacy to get your weight loss prescription. Orka. Now drive your ass on THRU!!!!"
7. Mix all the different strengths of Percocet into one pretty rainbow-colored bowl and dispense from that.
8. Hold a Viagra/Levitra/Cialis auction in the parking lot.
9. Tip over every shelf in the pharmacy, thereby forcing the staff to ACTUALLY alphabetize zolpidem under "Z" instead of "A" for Ambien.
10. No the fuck you wouldn't get your prescription any faster if Jennifer was here. Yes, someone is working back here and will be with you just after she finishes helping the FIVE other people who are ahead of you. And NO you CANNOT have "just two tabs" until we fill your prescription because you're running late for work. Now BEAT IT!!!! Thank you, you're the best!
8 comments:
yooooooooooooo! that alphabetizing by brand name thing IRKED MY LAAAAAAAST NERVE!!!!!! WHO DOES THAT?!?
CVS.
Why u called the lady orka?
*snickering*
just two tabs?!?! do people ACTUALLY ask these things?!?! oh the follies!! the follies!!
perhaps my fave tho, "Mix all the different strengths of Percocet into one pretty rainbow-colored bowl and dispense from that."
X!!!!! LMAOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
LMAO @ the birth control. And I gotta a horse you need to borrow for the Klan rally.
This was effin' hilarious!
*thud* <-------------me falling on the floor laughing
Can I please just come to work with you one day and sit on the floor beneath the counter and eavesdrop?
I'll bring candy...
Stace- ya feel me? But if I were to throw everything on the floor and say "alphabetize this," I would be wrong! And she's called Orka because she's a fat lazy whale. **stomping my foot**
Jameil- DO THEY???? I'm not creative enough to make this stuff up! And the Percocet thing is my fave too :)
V- First of all, come more often. I miss you! Second of all, a horse, though? **guffawing hysterically**
I KNEW YOU WERE IN THE KLAN!!
Thank you for missing me. I'm glad more people appreciate my stupidity.
And yes a horse!! It wouldn't be a real Klan rally without them. I'm from Louisiana, was in girl scouts for 11 yrs and grow corn and mustard greens in my granma's backyard.
ROTFL - just stopped by for a visit. Loved the posts...especially this one. You may get a kick out of this post I wrote BORED AS HELL AT ANOTHER PHARMA training meeting....
http://salesdiva.blogspot.com/2007/02/package-insert.html
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