My Megalomaniac Complex

If I ruled the blog world... hmm... I would soooooo do away with this task. It's driving me insane. There's nothing worse than saying out loud (or writing down) all the things I wish would happen and realizing that they never will. It's like envisioning the perfect wedding (yeah, I do it- so what?) or the most romantic proposal (yep, do that too- say something)... it NEVER turns out the way you hope. Anyway... enough of that. If I ruled the blog world, this is how it would be.

1. People would get a life. I mean a real life, not just the ones they watch other people have on television or read about other people having in their blogroll... a real live life. The kind of life where you go out and do things and see people and experience stuff and THEN come home and write about it. Not the kind of life where you just sit at home (or work) and make up shit to write about so you can say that you've written. And then berate others for not doing the same thing. GET A LIFE, BLOGGERS!!! And then you won't give a damn that I have one and am not sharing the inane minutae of it with you!!!!

2. People would stop gettin BUCK on my comment pages and then getting mad when I return the favor. Here's a tip (that you might or might not have noticed in your skip through Moniqueland): I am not a nice person. Fundamentally, just NOT NICE. I do nice things all the time. I look really nice alot of the time. And to the people who trouble to get to know me on a deeper level, I break tradition and actually AM NICE to them. But I am not really a nice person. So don't get all indignant and shocked when I say something to you on your comment page that you didn't really want to hear. Because if you were soliciting one opinion in particular, then you should've said that and I would've stayed away. But when two people are as fundamentally different as you and I seem to be, you can'tpossibly be surprised when we don't agree. Brush it off (like I do) and keep it moving.

3. People would realize that there are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
**got that??**

SO many other things to talk about besides celebrity gossip, yummalicious food, fantasmic outfits, and what other people are or are not wearing to school/work/church/the bar, wherever. Now I don't mind if that is the stuff that you want to talk about- I'll just adjust my expectations accordingly. I won't, then, be disappointed when day after day, that's all I get from you. But all I ask in return is that you not be mad when others begin to view you as the lastest source for all things material and shallow. Yesssss, I do understand that life isn't really all that serious all the time. Yesss, I do write about what I wore to a wedding, what I ate at a birthday party, and how much I hate the people who choose to patronize my place of business... SOMETIMES. But other times I write about (and here's a novel concept): MY FEELINGS!!! I write about love and loss and death and life and disappointment and joy and memories and friendships and... I don't know; shit that people actually want to know. I thought that blogging was supposed to be a reflection of real life; a written interpretation of what people think and how they live exposed to others. I'm not saying that you have to give a daily recap of what angle he (or she) penetrated you last night or how much you wanted to run over him (or her) with your car when he left you or how you felt like your heart had been torn in half when your mother died (damn... maybe that shit just happens to me, lol!). But please, please, PLEASE keep it real. Let us in!! So what if we make jokes? Maybe that's our way of coping. So what if we read and don't comment? Maybe we don't know exactly what to say, so we just send up a prayer instead. So what if we know that somewhere in Philadelphia/Dallas/Atlanta/New York/Los Angeles there is someone who did something incredibly stupid? THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE DO!!!! You aren't perfect, and I still hold out the tiniest bit of hope that you aren't that boring... so SHARE!!

That's what people would do if I ruled the blog world.

P.S. If you read this and feel like it applies to you, then it probably does. Don't sit around and dream up clever, yet hateful comments to post on my page. Just embrace it. Then make the requisite changes ASAP!!