And so my trip to Barbados turned out to be the very thing I was afraid of. It didn't matter how fabulous I looked, how much effort I put into seeming like the beautiful, carefree girl he had fallen in love with. It didn't matter that he did end up coming alone. I ended up leaving alone. My heart was torn into a million pieces and I couldn't even talk to my best friend about it because he was the one who did the damage. The man who said he would never hurt me, the man who said he would love me forever, couldn't even look me in the eye and say hello.
So that is when I realized that it was truly over. No more mooning over old pictures and thinking about what could have been. He made his decision, and that decision was final. No more listening to the people who said that he'd be back; I just needed to give him some time and space. Bullshit. G was gone. He had been gone in his mind for a very long time, and I was the last to really get it. But I got it. So goodbye.
15 comments:
this makes me want to put a bag over my head.
Umm... okay. Let me know how that works out for you.
LMAO @ Jamiel...what in the world does that mean?!
Well at least you moved on. I have a friend who has been pining for her ex's love for over a decade. She's not allowed to discuss him to me anymore...I just can't take it!
damn!...i'm so sad now...damn!!! i just want to get in the bed and take that depressed nap...you know when you're depressed and you just go to sleep...damn!!!! i'm sorry!!!!
Oh definitely moved on. Barbados made it clear for me. He was done.
*sigh* I remember this. :( *big hug*
wow.
i felt that pain when he squeezed your hand and kept it moving. daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn! woe!
thanks for sharing homie.
it means i remember reading about this before and i remember you helping me thru my own dramatic episode. remembering it is not fun... which makes me want to hide... hence the bag. next time i should say hide under the covers?
Stace- oh you thought that wasb bad? I forgot to include this part, but that Sunday we had church at the house and he sat next to me. Early in the service he reached out to hold my hand and held it the entire service, then hugged me (a real hug, not a fake one), and then proceeded to ignore me again for the last two days. You like that?
Jameil- Yeah, covers would've been good... the bag made me think of suicide :)
I'm late... I hate to say it, but G sounds like me. When its over in my mind, its over. I've been told that I can turn it off too easily.
I'm sorry that you were hurt. Thanks for sharing.
Rashan- yeah, I suppose I am guilty of that too. I just wanted what alot of people want, closure.
Oh man.
I'm hurt for you...damn. It wonderful that you're over it though. I'm going through something similar. Sometimes we need that finality to make it crystal clear.
Oh thanks for sharing that!
Yeah, I'm going through the archives. Oh, X, this made my heart hurt for you! Shit, man!
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