Jiggy? Maybe Not So Much

The barbecue... boo hiss. And that's all I have to say about that. Well maybe not all I'm gonna say, but... man. You can take the boogers out the hood, but you most definitely CANNOT take the hood out the boogers! Thanks to Bishop's cousin Greg for geting us on the guest list for such an affair as this. Okay, let's backtrack.

The Smith's live in Brynmawr, PA. Lovely house, PHENOMENAL property... maybe five acres of beautiful green grass, trees, tennis court, pool, basketball court, and stream separating them from the neighbors. The front gate is up on a hill, so you go down into the property. They had private massage tables set up in this gazebo and a woman doing facials, manicures, and pedicures by the pool. There was a tattoo artist also (real needles, folks). One of Will's sisters was the official hostess of the barbecue... whew! And moving on. Every hoodtastic friend she has met in her trek from West Philadelphia born and raised was there... EVERY one. But no Will and no Jada. Bar and food set up on the tennis court. Agaiin, no Will and Jada. **WAHHHHHH**

But the part that I saved for the end (and BY FAR the most remarkable) was this. There was a woman walking around with these long Patra braids. She was really skinny with capri pants and a tshirt. Nothing crazy here, right? Oh yeah- forgot to mention that she was wearing lucite heels and swinging from a pole. A POLE, people! At Will and Jada's house. Outside. In the backyard. Yeah. She was giving lessons on pole dancing and the fine art of the lapdance. **SIGH** No, I did NOT partake, before yall's silly asses even ask.

So after about two hours of barbecuing with nobody more famous than Cristal (like the champagne) the aforementioned "dancer" and Chris Paul the NBA player, Bishop and I decided to call it a day. As we're hiking up the hill to the street, lo and behold a Mercedes S550 and a Range Rover appear at the gate. "Honey," I say. "Let's see what other coonery might be arriving." So we wait and we FINALLY get our Black star power in the form of Tisha Campbell, Duane Martin, Lisa Raye. Will, and Jada. They get out and come over to greet the remaining few people there who weren't family. Jada and Will are CRAZY cool. Very casual and VERY much in love. It was a good vibe all around. They invited us in for drinks (it was getting dark out), so we got a chance to hang out for a second. Greg had to leave, and we didn't want to look like the losers who won't leave, so we left too.

And that, my children, was the barbecue.