"How do I breathe without you here by my side?" Open your mouth and inhale, then blow it out. Simple as that. Damn, they make shit complicated for the sake of a hot song.
Why is it that grown ass people can't say "condoms?" Or "pregnancy tests?" All night, I get "can you open the cabinet? You know... the CABINET. The one over there that's locked." My dumb ass: "oh you mean the one with the CONDOMS in it? No problem!" **pushing the intercom button** "Could I get the key for the CONDOM cabinet to the pharmacy, please?"
Why do these little young motherfuckers try to hustle me into selling them Plan B without a prescription with no ID? "She's 18, but she doesn't have a license." "She's in the car- she sent me in to get it." And why do they call it everything except what it is? "Do yall got that 'in the morning pill?'" "How much is it for the 'morning pill?'" SIGH. If your little fast asses weren't gettin it in every damn night, you wouldn't need the MORNING AFTER PILL!
It was Keisha it was Sonya it wasTonya it was MONIQUE. It was Neecy it was Kiki... shawty right there is a TEE-YEN TEE-YEN shawty is a TEE-YEN!
Am I the only person in the world who doesn't give a rat's ass that Marques Houston is engaged to that little air-headed girl from "My Wife and Kids?" Or that Fantasia might be pregnant by Young dDro (whoever that is). Or that the plastic surgeon who killed Kanye's mom (yeah- KILLED HER) had an office above a Kinkos and next to a Subway?
Am I lame for going to the special one day only "Beyonce Experience" movie that's only showing in select theatres today? Probably. Oh well.
Can somebody out there hook me up with a reading by Lisa Williams? I am sooooo dying (no pun intended) to meet her. Seriously. I need it in my life.
Am I somehow less Black because I hope Hilary Clinton beats Barack Obama for the Democratic nomination in '08?
Will I ever wake up one day and be really truly content with my life?
Would it be wrong for me to not invite my family to my wedding? Except maybe my dad because I'd look stupid walking down the aisle alone.
Am I ever gonna get the nerve to audition for the church choir? I'm no Crystal Aiken (yall watch "Sunday Best?"), but I can hold a tune.
Is it wrong for me to be so annoyed by someone that it makes me head hurt, but I keep subjecting myself to their presence (albeit via the Internet).
I wish more people read (AND COMMENTED) on my blog. I want 21 comments some day.
Did I sound like as much of a loser as I felt this morning when I was talking to Boris Kodjoe on the phone? He's just so... beautiful.
Enough. My thumbs are tired.
8 comments:
YOU WERE TALKING TO BORIS ON THE PHONE!??!?! HOW WAS THIS NOT TOP OF THE LIST!?!?!?!?!??!?!?! *wipes drool*
lots of marriage talk. announcement? I WANT MY NAME IN A SONG!!!!!! :(
you have to go comment on other people's pages for them to come comment on yours. otherwise they don't know your page exists. and when you don't post for a while, they forget abt you. lmao @ "Could I get the key for the CONDOM cabinet to the pharmacy, please?" you are sooo the reason people are embarassed. HILARIOUS!! for the record i don't get it either, tho. if you grown enough to have sex, be grown enough to protect yourself. CONDOM SELECTION HELP ON AISLE 4 PLEASE!! now go audition for the choir. quotin la, "skirt down, man up!!"
Here's one out of your 21. I used to do the same thing about the condoms. Or even worse, i would be selective about who I asked. I would always ask the old white man, instead of the black woman. Then I turned 18 and didn't care anymore. LOL
I don't care about Marques Houston or Fantasia either.
Beyonce Experience? *shaking head*
Omg nothing tops seeing Boris is person. He is literall "stop breathing" fine.
Rashan- YEAH!! I'm on my way to 21! I guess I just don't get it. They're condoms, not HIV meds!
La- YES the Beyonce Experience. And whaat? Yeah, I saw Boris almost every day for two yers when we were in college, and he was beautiful then too. If only I'd been fabulous then!
Jam- I don't know how this part of my comment got delted. Anyway... yeah, I called in to a radio show he was doing an interview on. Got in a quick chat about college and how much I LOVE him!! Marriage talk- just projecting. Yeah, between "Freak-a-Leak" and "Ten" I'm hearing "Monique" on ALL the radio stations! LMFAO.
**patiently explaining** I comment on peoples' blogs all the time, ma'am. They just read mine and keep it moving. But I do appreciate the comments that I do get.
You know who is finer than Boris? His brother. You wouldn't think it were possible, but it is, and it is good.
After the debates, Hilary is more sound than barack. And if you vote for someone just cuz they're black you're really not doing your race justice.
I can't stand when people get all secretive about condoms. I had a guest who said, "if things go right I'll be back for these." he came back and we laughed about the fact that he was about to get some. Respected man.
Joy- I absolutely cannot go with you on that one. Patrick is downright subpar compared to Boris. We were at VCU together- Patrick got ass because he was a basktball player. But fine? Not even.
OMG! You went to college with Boris? I've seen him in person and whoever said he really is stop breathing fine..... was so right.
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