Thanks PYT for giving me some me some new crack to smoke.... this "come up with 10 things that start with the letter M" thing is THAT WHITE!! So after my little temper tantrum about your choice of letter for me, here is what I came up with.
1. Music. I love music. The right song can bring to mind the best time of my life. The wrong one (don't you love those on the Russ Parr Morning Show!!) can make me burst into tears in the middle of the interstate. Music gives me the chance to say things that I might not ever get out on my own. So my first thing that starts with "M" is music.
2. Mall. I ADORE the mall. Anyone who knows me knows that I have a problem. Some people drink alone in the middle of the day, some people use ponytail holders to tie off their arm for that next fix, I go to the mall. I love to shop. Shopping makes me happy. There are few feelings in the world like finding that perfect dress that you've been watching for two months on clearance for 60% off. Better than sex. No, scratch that. Better than some sex I've had (but not in the last seven months, so relax baby!).
3. Mommy. If you ever knew me, you know my mommy. She was the BEST mother ever. Not much more to say about that.
4. Mulatto. Please, please, please. People, please pass the word that "mulatto" is not an appropriate way to refer to someone of mixed ethnic heritage. "Biracial" works for me. Some people don't seem to mind "mixed" (I am not one of those people). But MULATTO? That term should have been canned when Gone with the Wind left the penny theaters and massa read the Emancipation Proclamation under Emancipation Oak? One day at work, an old white woman refrred to me as "that mulatto gal." Okay, yeah...... so let's not use that anymore, 'kay pumpkin?
5. Munchkins. I am afraid of them. I'm talking trembling, stuttering, sweating, dizzy afraid. And yes, I know that they aren't supposed to be called munchkins. But whatever.... they are scary little creatures and I am afraid of them.
6. Missionary. I know you didn't think that I meant the people who go to the far reaches of Africa and read the Bible to children with swollen bellies while swatting flies (I know, I know... fast track to hell!). I meant the position. Many people think that the missionary position is boring. But I love it - since I know many of you vould care less about the details, I'll spare you. Suffice it to say that missionary sex can be some of the best sex you've ever had (and yes, better than the mall).
7. Muffin. That's what I call my dog. No, that is not his name, but for some reason I decided one day that he looked like a muffin, so it stuck. No, pit bulls should not ever be called "Muffin" in public. But Stone is my muffin, and if you don't like it, OH WELL!!
8. Mark. My first boyfriend. More importantly, the boy who taught me to believe that men are not to be trusted. Sound a little bitter? Maybe. But that was the lesson, and damn if he wasn't teacher of the year on that one! Oh well... like most high school romances, he probably can't even remember my last name, but I remember him. And I would like to say, "Thanks Mark!" Thank you for showing me that it can only get better with time :)
9. Maybe. What the hell does that mean? "Maybe." Maybe you should be more decisive and pick something a little more definitive. I hate the word "maybe." Maybe because in our house, "maybe" was always code for "HELL NO and stop asking!!" "Maybe" just seems like an excuse to postpone making a decision. Let's band together and ban the word "maybe." Maybe it will catch on.
10. Miss. I've been trying not to think too much about this, but I am going to miss my PYT when I move to New Jersey. More than I ever thought I would. More than he thinks I will. More than either of us ever saw coming. But I am REALLY going to miss him. I'll miss his laughter and his jokes that make mine seem downright corny. I'll miss his apartment and my side of the bed. I'll miss "whatcha doin," "nuttin... playin Playstation, watchin TV." I'll miss the struggle. I'll miss the tongue ring. I'll miss... damn, I'm getting all teary eyed!! I WILL MISS HIM.
Okay, I'm finally done with this thing. It was tough, but I think I did okay. Thanks again for the inspiration :)
3 comments:
my mom yells at me for my shopping. not yells but gets exasperated. but i love it!! shoes!!! gimme shoes! i'm like cookie monster except w/shoes. and i was never like this before. that damn hampton.
hahahahahahaa! no one has ever called you a mulatto!! that's hilarious!!
and by munchkin do you mean midget? b/c if you do? that's hilarious!!
Yeah, my mom used to do the same thing. But then I would promptly point in the direction of her closets (yes, closets PLURAL) and she would back down! The mulatto thing... I don't know why that bothers me so much. And yes, by munchkin, I do mean midget. **shudder** I had an episode just yping the word.
Lol, Midgets are people, too.
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