If You're Even Still Reading...

So I would like to say that this is what I have been doing for the past three months...



But let's keep it real... it's been a little bit more like this...




**sigh**

Well... whatever. Don't judge me... when I am idle, I cook. When I am depressed, I eat. Put the two together and you get... well you get bacon sweet potato hash and honey bourbon pork chops with red velvet bread pudding for dessert (not pictured, LOL). There has to be a better way... no, really... there HAS to be. Please tell me there is. Because between the unemployment and the fake ass spring weather and the fact that I am unofficially on the state (ask your hood ass cousin Kee Lo Lo if you aren't familiar with that term), I am two seconds from grabbing the plastic spork from KFC (again, DO NOT judge me!!) and ending it all.

KIDDING.

It's never really that serious. I have actually been instructed to view this all as an extended, much needed vacation... per my super wise sensai (read: La). And I kinda dig that- it's like a staycation (if you don't watch "In the Motherhood," go directly to abc.com and do so IMMEDIATELY. Do not pass go, do not collect $200). But as with all good things, it is starting to get a tad bit old... and it's only been three weeks. So I am working on something- got a little something cooking in the oven (and this time it is NOT butterscotch pie, it's an ACTUAL plan). I don't want to put a jinx on it, but please believe: this vacation will not last forever. Your girl is on the move, and very very soon **fingers crossed** it will all come to pass.

Sooooooo.... I think I might maybe kinda sorta perhaps be in serious sickening nauseating thought-consuming like with someone (read: he makes my heart sing). He's a good guy (even though every conversation we have somehow manages to include the phrase "you are NOT a nice man!")... tall, handsome, funny, smart... all that blah blah blah. I will spare you all the ridiculous details of how he came to be in my life... partly because I am old and don't remember and also because some of yall are nosy ass bastards and are too smart for your own good, LOL. But suffice it to say that I think he might heart me too and that fact alone makes the butt-shaped dent on my couch a little more palatable to sit in day after day. If all works out with the super secret high security clearance plan (read: my search for a new job), then maybe we can actually do the damn thing... we'll see.