Oh No She Didn't!!!

This post comes complements of Jameil who requested (at her own peril, I'm afraid) that I keep yall up to date on the NATO meetings that take place in my office every weekday from 7:30 to 6:00 p.m. Okay.... so there are now four residents (one decided, for whatever reason, to arrive two weeks late). We are all crammed into this little ass office with no windows. Originally there were only three desks, so when the carpenter came to make the fourth desk, he made it EXTRA big. Now I've probably mentioned this before, but I am an extra big (extra TALL, not extra fat, in case you were snickering behind your hand!) chick. So when I saw the opportunity for the big desk, I snatched it. The down side (which I didn't realize until I had moved all of my things) is that there is no phone jack or computer connection on that side of the room (I know, I know: God doesn't like ugly!). So I have to wait an indeterminant period of time to get both of those extremely important pieces of technology. That's probably just what I get for getting all greedy and eager beaver with the big shit, but hey! It's that damn only child syndrome rearing its ugly head again.
Because of the computer and phone shortages, we are supposed to take turns with their uses so that everyone could get their responsibilities taken care of. So this morning I had to write some reports for an 11:00 meeting. Not check my email, not cath up on yall's AMAZINGLY HYSTERICAL lives via blogland, but to ACTUALLY do what they are paying me for. Don't you know that the Chinese one says to me: "No, you need to use the computer in the hall. I have something to do on MY computer." Actually, it came out more like this: "No, you use compootah in haw. I hah someting do on MY compootah." Now first of all, the last time I checked, these COMPOOTAHS belong to the medical center. And second of all, did she just tell me to move to the equivalent of the back of the bus? The computer in the HALL? Oh hell naw!!! Did I mention that she proceeded to not even do any work on her computer? She just sat at the desk and pushed a couple of keys every few minutes to make noise. After I went into the hall (seething the whole way), I realized that the computer there isn't connected to the network, and I ended up having to use her computer after all. So after much ado, she gets up, but issues the warning that "I need to hurry up because (she) has work to do."
Now here is where the "oh no she didn't" comes in. When I finish using the computer and go back to my desk, why does this child break out the bottle of rubbing alcohol and the box of Kleenex and proceed to thoroughly WIPE DOWN her entire work space including the phone (which I didn't even use)? Oh okay, so the latest guidelines from the World Health Organization with a cc'd copy to the Centers for Disease Control stated that Negro is a stage IV contagious disease now? I mean, cause that's exactly how she was acting. So for the rest of the day the dumb ass hasn't been able to look me in the eye. OKAYYYYYYYYYYY.... so when she got back from lunch, I was strategically placed at her desk with my feet propped up on the desk drawer, my ear plastered to the phone (talking to my boo, the DIAL TONE), and my fingers stuck to her keyboard, all the while writing this post for you guys' entertainment. So you want to wipe some shit down? WIPE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
P.S. (written a few hours later) And now the Russian wants to know where I am going and why I am not staying until six o'clock. I AM NOT YOUR SUBORDINATE!!!!! WE ARE EQUALS... except I speak the language fluently. LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!! Sorry, guys... PYT says that I should be more positive and not emphasize the negative all of the time, so I will try my absolute hardest to make this my last negative post about my job (or least to counterbalance every negative with a positive). Sorry, but that's the best I can do :)