It really is FAR too early on a Sunday morning to have to pull out the *blank stare* however, it is 8:27 a.m. And I have already had to. So I'm driving to work looking for some gospel to listen to while. I sojourn to slavery, and the Jesse Jackson show catches my attention. A woman called from West Virginia- she sounded to be maybe 60-65 years old. Her comment was "so when Mr. Obama becomes our President, will that cause oppression of non-Black people?"

**blank stare**

As if this man is sitting on his campaign plane saying to himself, "damn! I sure can't wait to Pennsylvania so I can show those crackas who's runnin shit NOW!!"

Lord.

Another Boring Post

Hey bloggers! Is it possible that my life has become this boring? Should I really accept that there is nothing blog-worthy about my life anymore? Well.... I guess it is what it is. For right now, I am completely blocked. I have no idea what to write about- at least nothing that I can imagine anyone wanting to read. But here is what I have been up to...

I finished a few more books. "My Sister's Keeper" by Jodi Picoult was every bit as fantastic as everyone who has read it said it would be! I love love LOVED it!! I hated the mother, I thought the father was a bit sad, I adored Ana, and I was SICK when it was over. Great read. I read "Stone Cold" by David Baldacci... another political/murder thriller. Good beach read. I picked up "Lipstick Jungle" by Candace Bushnell because Mini said she was watching Season 1 on DVD and I figured, "hey! why not?" It was no Sec and the City, but I was a nice girly book... three grown women find love and success in the Big Apple. Bah.

Last Saturday I went to see Steve Harvey at the NJ PAC... I bought the tickets back in December and just recently realized that the show would be taped for his upcoming DVD... great. So like the Black people that we are, we walked in JUST as the show was starting and had to walk allllllll the way down to the front section. But Steve was HYSTERICAL... worth every penny and the stomach cramps that I got from laughing so hard. Afterwards we went to Buddakan(again)... I swear if I lived next door, I would soooooooo eat there every day! This time I had frog legs, lobster egg rolls, black cod, and passion fruit mousse parfait. **sigh** What a dream!!!! Anyway here's a pic...

Oh yeah and I forgot that I was supposed to post a picture of the flowers that came this week. Actually, I didn't forget, but when they came, they were all still buds, but now they are starting to open beautifully. So here are my laguna lilies.

And last but not least... yesterday I went to Dylans Candy Bar, otherwise known as HEAVEN!!!!!

Pink Saturday

Perfection. Sheer and complete perfection. The sun is shining, it's hot but not too hot, I'm off work, and I don't have ISH to do! Well... Besides sit in front of this Pathmark. But get this: in the first half hour I was here, I made almost $100! Location location LOCATION!!! I'm at the store in Edgewater, NJ where the wealthy people live; plus there's a Target, TJ Maxx, Party City, and Old Navy all in the same complex. This idea was sheer genius!! At this rate, I should be at my fundraising minimum ($1800)by the end of the weekend! Now if I could just walk those 40 miles :)

Dinnertime!!

I just got home from work and I am soooooo not hungry. But I took some chicken out Friday night and I really need to cook it before I have to toss it out. So this is what I came up with. Coconut curry chicken (compliments of a sauce I found at Whole Foods) with jasmine rice; okra, corn, and tomatoes; and for dessert, fresh pineapple and sangria (or champagne) sorbet (I did it, Mini! I cut it away from the cone just like you told me!). I was so exhausted when I finished (and pressed to watch Game 5), so I only tasted everything. But it was soooo good :)

Here Comes the Bride

Relax folks... Not me. I don't think I'll ever be that vision in white (and special thanks to yall out there in blogger land who have convinced me that I'm a circus freak for being 30 with no husband and/or kids!).

This is the story of another boring Saturday afternoon at your neighborhood pharmacy. I'm on the computer looking at the dinner menu at Legal Seafood for cheat weekend (five days good eating, two days not so great) when my technician says "does that lady have on a wedding dress?". I look around the corner and sure enough there is a full fledged bride (with her groom) in the first aid aisle with her train gathered in her hands and him frantically searching for the Benadryl. "Can I help you guys?". "My wife is having an allergic reaction to a bee sting! Where is the non drowsy Benadryl?"

Now because he truly did look panicked, I curbed my usual desire to be a smart ass. By definition, Benadryl makes you drowsy- that's what it does. But this man looked like he was about to weep with the sheer urgency of it all, so I just smiled calmly. "Where were you stung, ma'am?". "On the bottom of my foot."

**blink**

Putting aside yet another unnecessary question of how could you possibly get stung on the bottom of your foot with shoes on in a church, I ruled out true allergy (throat swelling, difficulty breathing), pointed them toward the Benadryl cream, and told her that should do the trick just fine. She looked mortified that her husband had her in a drugstore in her wedding haberdasherie for a simple bee sting, but oh well... They now have an interesting wedding story.

Week in Review

Week in review... this past week has been different. Last Friday I decided to really commit to losing weight. I completely cleaned out my refrigerator and then took a WONDERFUL trip to Whole Foods **sigh** LOVE WHOLE FOODS!! All these fresh fruits and vegetables and meat and... wait, stay away from the tomatoes, right? So lest you think that I'm not serious...



Last Saturday I was a vendor at the Morning Star Market. My church has a flea market-type deal where members who have businesses can sell their merchandise. I had a table to sell some of my breast cancer awareness merchandise to help raise money for the Avon Walk in October (yeah... SIDE EYE to those of you who still have not donated and KUDOS to those who have!). It was 983 degrees outside and it was not very well publicized, but I made $220!! YAY!! This was a picture of my table.
Oh yeah... a church acquaintance and her sister started a company making soy candles; it's called Yum Yum Candles. They were at the table next to me, so the entire time I kept looking oer at their stuff and trying to justify spending money while I was supposed to be making money! Anyway... the prices are very reasonable, and the candles smell FANTASTIC. Chocolate strawberry is my favorite I also bought violet lime, vanilla orchid, and delightful (a peachy scent). They also do room sprays. Support them!

And then... I bought myself a year-long delivery of flowers. So every two weeks I get a fresh batch of beautiful flowers delivered to my door :) I love flowers... first week is peonies.

Barack-o-Mania and More

Yes, yes... I got it from here first (thanks!!), but I am OVER THE MOON that these came today (I ordered three!)

So I won't belabor the point right now (even though Obama is my boyfriend!), but yall get the point: get out and BARACK THE VOTE!!!!!!!

So yesterday was my girlfriend's birthday (she turned 33) and we decided to go this new-ish spa in Queens. I saw it on the news a few weeks ago, but I was a little skeptical. The price and the location made me wonder about the cleanliness of it all, but I have NEVER been more happy to be wrong. New York Spa Castle was FANTASTIC. Here are some pictures from the website in case you are ever in the area.

The gold sauna room

One of the LED pools

Waterfall

The massage jets in the bade pool

**sigh** I can't stall anymore. It's after 2:00 in the morning. I have to write it. I told her I would. No... I asked her if I could. Now I'm stalling. But how do I even start something like this? It's not that I don't know what to say. It's that once I start, I'll never want to stop talking because when I do she'll really be gone. **sigh**

Wow... It's today. It looks beautiful outisde- not a cloud in the sky. Something about that seems all wrong somehow. It should be dark and cloudy with buckets of rain to acknowledge all the tears that will fall today. It should be windy and cold- I shouldn't be warm in my bed from the morning sun. I don't feel warm and sunny. I feel dead. But I'm not- she is. I have to get up because class starts promptly at 9:00 and Mrs. Ramaley so doesn't play that late shit. I really can't bear to put on this black dress and these stockings and these dreadfully uncomfortable heels. People will stare at me and mumble incoherently because they don't know what to say. Wait. What am I saying? They're going to stare anyway just because I'm there. But what else am I supposed to do? My presence isn't required until 11:30, so why not go to class? **sigh** I look so normal. When I look in the mirror, I can't see that vast empty space in my chest. I can't see the fear and the anger and the pain. Wait- there it is. It's in my eyes- like anyone will think to look for it there. No time for that anyway; I've got a 25 minute drive and a hopeless search for a parking space. There will be time for pain- not now.

This was a mistake. I'm here on the front row- I see her lips moving, but none of it is making any sense. I just want to go home, curl up in my bed, and die. Not solve pharmacokinetic problems, not pretend that my classmates aren't staring holes in the back of my head. Just die. In peace. Finally it's 9:50 and I can leave. Time to take care of business.

I need to find an orchid... In September. Great, mom! Way to set me up for the impossible task! Two florists and 30 minutes have gone by- now what? I can't show up without the orchid. But I have no makeup on, I haven't changed my clothes, and I have 30 missed calls trying to figure out where I am. One more try... "Ma'am do you have any orchids?". "Yeah, I know... With the hurricane you've only had power for two days. You haven't received your shipment for today yet? But I promised my mom...". THANK GOD. One stem of silk orchids in the back and she's giving it to me- I couldn't show up without this flower. There's something so incongruous about this chapel- she got married here. Why is her funeral here? **deep breath** All you have to do is walk up the side aisle, place the flower on her dress, and leave. You can do this. You can. You have to. It's so dark in here- creepy, even. The sun is shining so brightly outside but the light doesn't seem to be penetrating the glass of the windows. Now THAT seems appropriate. She looks so... Not asleep. That is the biggest lie of all. She doesn't look asleep. She looks... **sigh** here, mommy, I found your orchid. I hope it's okay that it's not fresh. Shit... It's 11:20 and I haven't gotten to the church yet- they are sooo going to kill me. I have the programs in the trunk of my car and the buttons too. Well... Maybe they'll leave without me and I can skip the whole thing. No. She's counting on me and I owe her this. Never mind that I feel like I can't take another step. Never mind that if one more person says "I'm so sorry for your loss," I might really lose something.

Great, they're all here. And the limousines are waiting. "Hey- sorry. Yeah, I know I'm late. I need to change- be right back.". Bastards. How can they even see me? After all, I'm not really here. This is just a really terrible figment of my overactive imagination... Right? But if that's the case, then why are there 50 people dressed in Black staring at me as I run past? Okay Monique. If this is real and you're really here, then you'd better pull it together.

Jesus. There are so many people here and it's not even noon yet. "Hi- thank you.". "Hello- I know... Thank you for coming." "Hi... No, I'm fine.". Oh my God. I didn't realize I'd have to be this close to her. For the entire service. I don't want to see her like this. I don't... Here we go. I keep opening and closing my purse to make sure that my papers are still there, that I haven't forgotten them. What a beautiful song- seems like I should be crying because everyone else is. My grandmother doesn't look so great; my grandfather looks devastated. What must it be like to be this close to your child's lifeless body? You're not supposed to outlive your children. I hope he's okay. Ohhhhh Dr. Harvey, you almost got me! All the way through your tribute and just when I thought it was safe- you broke. Damn you- you're the strong one! You can't cry, you're not supposed to cry. Dr. C, Lowell, Rich... It's almost time. What is she saying? Why is she crying? You weren't that close. All you ever did was envy her. All you ever did was hate on us. She loved you and you were jealous of her. She taught me to love you and you tried to separate us. Get off the pulpit- you don't deserve to cry.

And here we are. I made it up here without falling. Look at all of these peoples' faces... Wait, no, don't look. Are my papers all here? Yes, good. Okay. **inhale**

"My mother had two great passions in her life, and the first was the institution of Hampton University. I can imagine that her days here as an undergraduate were filled with typical collegiate activities and concerns. But a seed was planted; and several years later upon her return as a new faculty member, that seed began to grow into a mighty tree. She loved her students- she would spend many late night in 304 Phenix Hall planning for her classes and seeking new ways to inspire and motivate. Hampton Institute matured into Hampton University, and still she worked. This institution was in her blood and every day she found a new and better way to build on the legacy of Hamptonians who came before her. She was an ardent supporter of Hampton's leadership. I oftten would hear her extolling the virtues of her Home by the Sea to an unfortunate graduate of another university, and she would say: "well yall don't have NOTHIN on the Pirates and you DEFINITELY don't have nothing on Dr. Harvey!".

My mother was never restricted by her duties within the walls of the classroom. From September to November, all things unrelated to her Pirates took a backseat because after all, it was football season! Her Monday classes could always look forward to a spiritied discussion on "her boys-" she knew her team and she didn't play anyone downing her players. And she loved, I mean SHE LOVED her Marching Force. "Monique I'll have to meet you at the game- I'm not missing that opening fanfare!". She has succeeded in turning my entire family into what we call "Force fanatics," and she loved every minute of it. Her tireless support of this great inatitution, her unparalleled devotion to its success, and her model of excellence will continue to reverberate througout this campus as she truly has let her life do the singing.

As much as she loved Hampton University, she nurtured another passion as well, and that passion was me. From December 1977 to September 2003, Sharon White-Williams was on a mission. She accepted this mission with a fierceness and a responsibility that few have ever experienced.

Ours was a special bond, a strong bond- a bond that was sometimes tested, but never ever broken. Now I tried her patience, let me tell you. And I know just like she knew that I worked her LAST nerve some days. But she was laying a foundation- an unshakable fortress for the future. She would sometimes say, "now I won't be here with you forever, so you have to learn to stand on your own.". I used to hate to hear that because I never wanted to think about life "on my own," but I see now that she was right. Nothing tangible lasts forever, and unfortunately our forever was shorter than most. But the plans that she made 26 years ago have finally come to fruition... Here I stand on my own. My mother was ill for some time and I would occasionally watch her and wonder, "how can she be so strong? How has she made it this far?". But in a moment of clarity, I realized that she had to be sure. She had to be sure that the chubby-legged baby whom she loved so much had indeed become the woman that she always envisioned. She had to be sure that her work would go on- that I would continue on the path that she lit for me. She Had to be sure that I wouldn't give up, that two years from now on Mothers Day 2006 that I would be the newest Dr. White in the family. On September 18, she was sure. I know she was at peace and I know that she had finally stopped worrying... It was well with her soul.

And so I am a product of greatness. I follow in the footsteps of a giant, and yet I am not overshadowed. I was loved, I was cherished, and I was groomed for the same greatness as the Whites who came before me. Mommy, you have finally arrived and you have heard the words that you so longed for: "well done, my good and faithful servant, well done.". I applaud you, I respect you, I adore you, I revere you, I emulate you, and I will always keep your memory alive. I hope that every day I will bring a smile to your face as you do to mine, and I just hope that you are proud. You were my mother, my friend, my cheerleader, my PR person, my mentor, my confidante, my idol- the single greatest love of my life.

SATC

Oh.

My.

God.

Blogger, look at her dress.

**gigantic sigh**

**swoon**

Okay, I survived. Sex and the City movie... LOOOOOOOVVVVED!! Me and Mini went to see it last night- well as much as two people in two different time zones can watch the same movie at the same time, lol! LOVED IT!!

Time On My Hands

My goodness... I sooooo need to get back into reading. I was doing so well- sometimes even two books a week. But alas, forgive me bloggers for I have sinned. It has been almost a month since my last Book of the Week posrt. I finally fnished Barbara Walters' "Audition." I only picked t up because all the hoopla surrounding its release piqued my interest. To be honest, I was pleasantly surprised. It did drag a bit in places where she would go into excruciating detail about interviewing some international political leader or something equally as boring. But she made up for it in the dish... old bitches can DISH!!!! She was even a bit snarky here and there, but whatever... she's like 5,000 years old , so what do you want? I finally cracked the spine on "Dreams from My Father" by Barack Obama after all these months... that will be the reading material for the subway ride and the hair salon tomorrow. **sigh** Oh how I love to read.

I also spent some time making jewelry last week. I had this grand idea to make something to wear with the dress I'd picked out to wear to the theater. HOWEVER... the weather refused to cooperate, so the look in my head got lost in translation. But here's the product anyway...


Oh yeah, don't worry Mini, I haven't forgotten about you. While you were off on your extended weekend, I kinda forgot to go to the post office to mail your bracelet. But never fear... it is on the way :)

One More from the Great Adventure

I forgot to put this picture in the last post. Of course we had to do the obligatory caricature that they have at every amusement park in the world, lol. The more I look at it, the more I realize that this picture looks JUST like him... not too much like me.

SUNSHINE!!

Three days in a row of uninterrupted sunshine and above 70 degree temperatures... almost don't know how to handle that! And to top it all off, I had the weekend AND today off; free to do absolutely whatever I wanted. So what did I do? I went to Great Adventure and Wild Safari. See?









And here, my friends, is where I temporarily lost my mind. You know those Skycoaster things that are kinda like a cross between skydiving and bungee jumping? Well, every time I go to the amusement park, I say I'm gonna do it, and I always chicken out. But yesterday I figured that if I can jump out of a plane from 16,000 feet over the Las Vegas desert, then I can surely do this. So we jumped. JESUS. Keep me near the cross!
BEFORE

AFTER

And Her Husband

Eat, chat, drink, chat, chew, chat, yawn, chat. Well actually change every "chat" to "stare blankly" and you'll get an accurate description of my behavior at the lunch.

Maybe tonight will be better. I can't believe I just spent all afternoon making a bracelet and some earrings to match this stupid dress I'm wearing. Now I only have an hour (or less) to do something with this hair and... Ummm... Is that rain? Ummm... And why is it ten degrees colder than it was when I went into the damn bead store? Sonofa...

Fantastic. Now I have to find something else to wear. But what? It's raining and I have to catch the train in less than an hour! Fine... This suit, these shoes, this purse. **wailing** but my hairrrrr!!! Screw it. Money? Check. ID? Check. Umbrella? Check. Tickets? Check. You sure? Dammit, I said check!

Well now I'm thoroughly soaked, despite my umbrella. My escort is similiarly waterlogged. And the train is late. This has all the makings of an A+ evening. We make it to Penn Station by 7:25, catch a cab to the theatre, and make it inside as they are flickering the lights. "Hey." "Oh you guys made it!". "This is... This is..." "Nice to meet you.". "Pleasure.". Tiny theater, very intimate. Lots and lots of much older white couples. **sigh** Wish we could make it out to support something other than the latest Tyler Perry softshoe. "Wow! These seats are amazing! Are we IN the play?". (Polite laughter). The lights dim, the crowd silences, and there, a mere 10 feet away on the stage is...

Laurence Fishburne. A+.

How I Met Your Mother

Damn my arm is klling me! I guess two hours spent painstakingly flat ironing my hair will have that effect. Remind me why I said yes to this little agreement again? I didn't want to then, and I most assuredly don't want to now. But once again, my mouth (and curiosity) have written a check that my ass can't cash. **sigh** Now what to wear? Dress? No. Too pressed. Raspberry suede pumps? Looks like rain. Jeans or slacks? Short sleeves or long? Jacket, no jacket? Fuck it!! This is it. I'm out.

Yes! It's 12:26 and I found a parking space in the garage! Now I have four minutes to lay in the cut and see if I can spot her before she spots me. Whew- these shoes are 10.0 on the fabulosity meter and -13 on the "I'm walking a city block" scale. Wait... There she is! That is definitely her. I'd recognize that red hair anywhere. Casual chic. Black and white print jacet, black pencil trousers that stop at the ankle, black mules, red purse. Not too shabby. Well I guess I'll keep the pace behind her; maybe she'll see me in her periphery. Wait- she's going to the restroom... Guess I'll grab a table. I really should assess the damage that the Hudson River windstorm did to my hair. Whatever... It is what it is. Shit! She sees me! She's coming over!

**wave**

And that, boys and girls, is how I met Maureen.

WALK WALK WALK!!!!

So guys.... I figured that it was time to stop with all the frivolous posts about books and pharmacy bullshit and hit yall up with some real deep, depressing stuff.

**pregnant pause**

Kidding. I am not really in that deep, dark kind of mood. But I do want to talk about something that is serious to me. On October 4-5, my friend Kelly and I will be participating in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer here in New York City. For two days and almost 40 miles, we will be walking to honor the women in our lives who have struggled against cancer.

As team Living Legacy


we will be representing our friends and families in support of a very worthy cause. So..... of course at the end of the line (like it always is with me!), this is about money. I am asking for your contribution to help our team to not only meet the fundraising requirement, but hopefully blow it out of the water!! Check out my fundraising page here. Feel free to leave a word of encouragement, or if you think that this cause is just as worthy as we do, then PLEASE make a donation. This weekend I will go and get my fresh brand new sneakers and START TRAINING (insert groan of pain and misery here). Say a prayer...

And a very PUBLIC (as public as it can be on a blog that is only read by about a handful of regulars!) thank you to the lovely ladies of Hampton University who have already risen to the challenge. SMOOCHES to Ash, Jameil, and Stacey!!!!

More Stolen Merchandise

1. Where is your cell phone? charging

2. Boyfriend/girlfriend? yes

3. Your hair? mess

4. Your mother? miss

6. Your favorite thing? dreaming

7. Your dream last night? forgot

8. Your favorite drink? margaritas

9. Your dream car? Range

10. The room you're in? messy

11. Your ex? Iraq

12. Your fear? failure

13. Your favorite number? 13

14. Where were you last night? home

15. What you're not doing right now? sleeping

16. Muffins? blueberry

17. One of your wish list items? success

18. Grew up at? Virginia

19. The last thing you did? IM'd

20. What are you wearing? sweats

21. Your TV? DVR

22. Your pet or pets? Stone

23. Your computer/laptop? on

24. Your life? unfulfilling

25.Your mood? blah

26. Missing someone? yes

27. Neighbors? Soror

28. Your best friend? Delta

29. Your work? HATE

30. Like someone? Yes

31. Your favorite color? Yellow

32. When is the last time you laughed? 11:00

Just Bead Yourself

Hmm... does anyone in my address book have a birthday coming up?




Probably not... but I had the day off today, so I had to keep busy. I kinda like this hobby... it's pretty :) I really should be catching up on my reading because I have been SERIOUSLY slacking lately. But I neeeeeeeeed a nap. Maybe later.

BFF's

All of my looooooove... my peace and happiness....

YAY!! My very best friend in the whole wide world crossed the burning sands into Delta land over the weekend. I stayed up all night putting the finishing touches on her gift basket (I REALLY should start a side hustle making arts and crafts).



OO-OOOOOOP!!!!!!!!!!

I went to Bead Yourself and made this bracelet in honor of my own tenth anniversary in Delta. There are nine pearls and there were nine of us. There are 13 pieces of red coral to represent my number. The reason why they are arranged asymmetrically (and YES, the woman at the store did not hesitate to point out to me that the bracelet had no symmetry) is this: there are five pearls to represent Malaika, Juanita, Kasharne, Shantia, and Holly. Then there are three pieces of red coral to represent #6-8 who dropped (losers). Three more pearls for Lottie, Charteque, and Tyffani, then one more red coral for #12 (biggest loser of all), and then one pearl standing alone for.... ME!!!!!! I really can't believe that it has been ten years already. **sigh** Happy birthday to me :)

Sunday Times

"Allow me to reintroduce myself: my name is O..."
-The Joy (in reference to President Obama entering a room to Jay Z instead of "Hail to the Chief")

I heart the image of that SO much **embrace embrace**

So anyway... I finished that second book by Maria de los Santos this morning. It was gooooood (not "gooooood" in a "FANTASMIC" sort of way, but "gooooood" in a "I'm searching for another synonym" kind of way). I guess as far as fiction goes, it will do- maybe beach reading or as a travel occupier. It's a layerd story about several women and their husbands, a woman with cancer, a supersmart boy with an unknown father... Good writing, good stories, just good. For the next one, I'm headed back to my old standby Jodi Picoult with "Second Glance."

Hmmm... I was driving to work this morning and saw a van with the logo of a company on its sad. The picture was of a dog squatting in a yard, and the caption underneath sayid "We take care of your business.". The name of this company? Dog Doody. Get it? Doody, duty... I chuckled. Then further down the same street I saw these really big ass birds on the side of the road, so I was like "what the fuck are those? Wild turkeys?". No sir... As I got closer I realized that they were standing in a nearly empty deer carcass... Vultures. Now THAT did not, in fact, make me chuckle. THAT made me want to vomit. **sigh** Nature.

I so desperately would like to go home.