Mother's Day

Not long ago, a fellow blogger said something that resonated with me. I don't remember who it was (I'm sorry!), but know that I got this from you.

Today is my Mother's Day. September 18. Four years ago today I started a journey that I didn't know I needed to take. A journey of self reliance, responsibility, and maturity. I wish that that there had been more than one set of footprints in the sand of that journey. Just one more set of narrow size 8's to steer me in the right direction. But that's not how I was meant to travel. So... here I am, four years later.

Seems like yesterday that I opened my eyes to that gloomy, windy, rain-soaked morning. Yesterday when, for the slightest instant, I convinced myself that the preceding year had been a terrible dream. Yesterday too when I realized that it had not in fact been a dream. Yesterday when I closed my eyes whole and opened them incomplete. But it wasn't yesterday.

2003. 2007. Four days before my birthday. The day my life changed forever. But this year there's a tiny bit of hope in Mother's Day. I'm almost 30. Didn't think I would make it here after that day. But I did. And she knew I would.

Happy Mother's Day.

**Ahem**

Dear Blogger Family,

Hear ye, hear ye: five more days until my 30th birthday!!!!!!! While I realize that it is shameless begging for me to solicit happy birthday wishes, can you guys see to it that I get at least one **in my teensy tiny whiny voice**??

Thanks,
Management

Wedding Bells

Oh dear... I find myself slipping into that oblivion again where I'm not blogging for days at a time. Well, I went to a wedding this weekend of a family friend, and I KNOW how much you guys love weddings (well, I know how much Jameil loves weddings!), so... here are a few pictures of the experience. And yes, Blogger Bully, I DO realize that this is not acceptable to take the place of what you would call a REAL blog entry. But I'm working tonight, tomorrow, and Wednesday night, so you're bound to get something out of that, okay? Smooches!!!

I just love sepia photographs... they make me feel so sophisticated! This is a shot of me and Bishop at the cocktail hour before the reception


Oh yall know this stunner... I went TO WORK on this one!!!


Yes, yes... that is the taco meat of one, Carl "Summer Rain" Thomas

Read A Book

Raise your kid, raise your kids, raise your goddam kids, though??? Wear deoderant, nigga? It's called Speadstick, it's not expensive? I'm sorry Stace, but I had heard about this and just couldn't resist posting it on my blog too in the event that one person might not have seen it on yours.

**sigh**

And that is all.

WOW!!!!!!

Can someone PLEASE tell me how to post a video link to this blog because I have something that you ABSOLUTELY must see in order to take another breath. My linesister emailed it to me and it is in the format of holdinitdown.wmv so I can see it via Windows Media.

Maybe if you just open your Internet browser and type that in, you'll be able to watch it too.

It will make your LIFE!!!!

Louis Vuitton Luggage

"It's not fair that you met a person like me."

I agree. I've had enough bad stuff in my life. I don't want to argue anymore. I don't want to yell anymore. I don't want to cry anymore. And to be honest, your baggage is a little heavy for me.

Sigh

Not fired. Just severely chastised. And reprimanded. And all that. Had to sign some stupid counseling card. Remembered that becoming a floater means forfeiting my $5/hour night differential. And it means decreasing my base hours from 42 to 30 per week.

Anybody know a legal side hustle??

Dun dun... Dun Dun... Dundundundundun....

(That's the theme song to Jaws, for those of you who were puzzled!)

I am sitting in one of those comfortable little blue chairs that I'm forbidden to sit in while I'm working. Like a student sent to the principal's office, I've been told that my supervisor "is busy," and that I should "wait in the chairs by the pharmacy." Okay, I guess I got the time of our meeting mixed up. It's cool.

Meanwhile I'll just sit here and reflect on my wrongdoings. Why is it that before every meeting with her, I feel the sudden and overwhelming desire to flee? I guess it's because this time, I'm supposed to meet with her and her boss. Why, you ask? No idea. If the decision has already been made to grant my request and take me off the nightshift, then why do I have to be double teamed to officially get the news? Is it because I'm getting the same treatment that the other pharmacist in my store got (she came in one day after 9 years and learned that she was being replaced)? Because if you're completely replacing me and I'm not being given an alternative placement, couldn't you just tell me that? Why all the fanfare? "Bitch, you're fired." See how easy that was?

**sigh**

I really hate to admit this, but these white people have me shook. I'm just remembering all of the little policy violations I've participated in over the last three months and wondering if they are fire-worthy. Dammit! I hate being a grown ass woman and feeling like I'm in trouble with someone! Twelve more minutes (that is if they plan to start this little Spanish Inquisition on time). More coming......

This is SO Long Overdue

I wanted to write you a thank you note. But not the usual "thanks so much for the stained glass portrait of our heavenly Father that is now comfortably nestled in my storage unit between the gift card from Claire's and the cable knit sweater that my best friend's grandmother knitted me for my 21st birthday" kind of thank you. The kind that you look at and really realize (hopefully) that you have made a difference in someone's life somehow. Now I can just picture you squirming in your seat at the idea that I'm about to allow even a little peek into the real you because you don't want people to know that you really are a nice guy. And I KNOW that you are cursing at the idea of me putting your government name out into the blogosphere for public consumption. But man up. This one goes out to you, Jarrod M.M.

Thank you for being my opposition. You say black when I say white. You say up when I say down. You say no when I say yes (well.... you don't actually say no....).

Thank you for being my challenge. I have learned that I cannot change you. And that I shouldn't want to. That you are just fine the way that you are. But you require me to ask the really tough questions of myself and you encourage me to be brave enough to hear the answers. You judge me sometimes. But I don't care what anyone says: that shit is necessary sometimes.

Thank you for asking me for another picture. Thank you for putting my nuber back in your phone. Thank you for singing "Get Me Bodied" to me when I was sick. Thank you for staying on the phone with me when that lady called me a "fucking bitch" and helping me to allow her to stay alive to tell the story to her goddam countrymen in her motherfucking language (woosahhhhh). Thank you for reminding me that I am not always right. Not even half the time. Hell, not even some of the time. Thank you for reminding me how old I am. Every day. Several times a day. Thank you for asking me when we were going on our first date. For not quitting when I didn't answer your calls. For saying "hi." For ironing your shirt on a borrowed ironing board. For being on time. For walking me to my car. For finally saying it. And meaning it. "The Mack." "The Boondocks." "New Jack City." Dave Chapelle. Chapel Hill. Carrot cake at Red Star. The Cheesecake Factory (oh yeah, that's right. That was the baby.). Lady of Rage. Jenny from the Block. Township. Hampton. Newport News. Norfolk. 2005. 2006. 2007.

Thank you for being the laughter of my life. And (you're really gonna hate this part): I love you.

I Just.... I Just Can't

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2mdbu_deelishisrumpshaker_music

That is all.

Let Freedom Ring

So... today I didn't sleep because I was waiting for a meeting with my supervisor that never took place. I got to work and found the technicians gossiping about this guy who will be taking over my job in two weeks. PARDON??? You said two weeks? MY job? The one that they pay ME to do? Riiiiiight.

So I call the pharmacy manager to ask her about it (the gossipers said the news came straight from her). Mind you, we'd just had this conversation a few days ago and she'd vehemently denied knowing anything about it. So again, she says (in her UBER thick, Staten Island accent), "no, Monique. I swear I haven't heard anything about replacing you!" I sighed deeply and closed my eyes against the steadily advancing migraine.

At that very moment, I decided to call in sick tomorrow. If I have to wait until next week to find out my future with the company, then I deserve a day off. So I call my scheduler and tell him that I need him to find coverage for tomorrow night. He says he'll start making calls. No less than five minutes later, the phone rings and it's -----, my supervisor.

"Hey, it's me, ----"

"Hey."

"Listen, I just got a call about you needing coverage for tomorrow night, and I gotta be honest with you. It doesn't look too good. But I promise we'll try to find somebody, and I will get back to you."

"Okay. Well in the meantime, are you considering so-and-so for my job?"

**yeah, like that. Straightforward and to the point. How YOU doin?**

So she pauses and then says yes. Then she hurries on to explain. The bottom line is that he just passed his exams but there is a problem with his paperwork, so he doesn't have a license number. As soon as he does, they want to train him for a week and then start him on nights at this store. Monday, September 3. And then I will be a floater. Riiiiiiiiight.

So don't you think it would've been nice for someone (other than the techs) to tell me that my job was no longer MY job? Never mind that I got what I wanted which is to get off nights. That is some shady shit!! So what, I would've gotten a call at the end of my week of telling me not to worry about coming in Monday night, but instead to report to parts unknown Monday morning? Nice. Ball-less corporate bitches. They were just afraid that if they told me too soon, I would quit and they wouldn't have a replacement.

Fuck it. Freedommmmmmmmm! Freeeedom! **channeling my inner Aretha**

Dear-----, pt. 2

Dear ---- ,
I just wanted to take a minute to thank you for standing me up today. Even though I didn't sleep because I was waiting for your call, I do appreciate the fact that you were gossiping about me in my absence. I especially love the part where you set up a meeting for us for next Wednesday without talking to me first to check my availability. I apologize for already having plans for my day on my week off. At any rate, just wanted to say thanks... for nothing!!!

Professionally,
MSW, Pharm.D.

30 Days to 30

First of all, a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the most petite (I think) member of my blog la lamilia.... JAMEIL!!!!! Bon aniversaire, m'amie (rusty, but I think that's right).

But more importantly (I jest!).... today begins the annual countdown to the big day. But this year is different... 30 days to big 3-0!!!! I realize that I'm WAY too excited for most of you to handle, but what can I say? I'm excited **jumping up and down**

Yesterday I finally got a response to my email from my district supervisor. We're supposed to talk this afternoon, so.... I'm holding strong, yall. Stay tuned.

Dear :

Dear :
I just wanted to take a moment to touch base with you. I know that we spoke previously about me switching from overnights to days, and in light of the 2007 graduates getting licensed, I was wondering if this would be an opportune time to revisit that change. I know that my store has had some challenges and that perhaps my transition to overnight pharmacist here hasn't been as smooth as it could be. I learn quickly and am dedicated to the improvement of our store's triple S status; however, I am not sure that my skills are being fully utilized here. With the impending changes in my own life as well as those here at 905, I just feel that the responsibilities and demands of the night shift might better be addressed by someone else. I have never been one to walk away from a challenge, and I hope you know how much I appreciate your initial confidence in offering me this opportunity. While working nights has allowed me to better learn the operational side of the store, it has had a less positive impact on my lifestyle and relationships.

If the opportunity still exists to work in the district as a full-time floater or if there is any store who needs a full-time pharmacist, I would love to discuss that with you. If you are fully staffe, then dI am also open to floating/working permanently in an adjacent district.

Please feel free to call me during the day whenever you have a moment.

Thanks!!

Better Late Than Never, I Guess

While I am FULLY aware of how belated this, I am also aware of the fact that I made a promise. So... as promised, here are two pictures of the infamous tattoo that Bishop said I couldn't handle, so I did it anyway **I showed him!**

I was good...

And then I wasn't!

The end
**How much do you love those love handles, though??????????**

Since When Does "We" Mean "Me?"

I am a hostage in my own home. The home where I pay an UNGODLY amount of money per month to live. Hostage.

So I'm in my room with the door closed and all I can hear is the sound of packing tape wrapping up my living room. Oh yeah, and HIM. I can hear HIM directing the Mexican moving crew. Guess what I don't hear, though? Better yet, guess WHO I don't hear? His dad. Oh yeah, blog family, this motherfucker came up in here by his DAMN self!!! Alone. Solo. Sans si padre. By himself. So it's him and me. In my house. Two people who used to love each other separated by two years and a bedroom door.

I can't even speak in complete sentences, I am so mad. What if Bishop were here? He has a key to my place. How would it look if he came walking in to find my unbelievably dense exboyfriend traipsing through my place? Crazy, that's how.

Well, he just shouted through the door that they're done (damn, in and out in 15 minutes! I need the number to that moving company!), and I am refusing to come out. Hope he got an eyeful of all of Bishop's pictures placed strategically throughout the house :) Fucking bastard.

"FYI" Will Get You Stabbed in the Streets, Boy

"FYI, we will be there around 8."

**the fuck??**

Did you not hear me when I said I didn't want you in my house? Did your stint in medical school exclude interpersonal communication and understanding? "FYI," though? Word?

I say that I want him to wait until I get home to come inside because I can't guarantee that the dog will be gone by then. So he says, "well isn't Stone in a cage?" NO THE FUCK HE IS NOT IN A GODDAM CAGE? Why would I leave my 70-pound, almost 4-year-old dog in a cage while I work 12 hours? OVeRNIGHT?? Who am I? Michael Motherfucking Vick?

So I very patiently explain to him (all this is taking place via nigga technology: text messages) that I just don't feel comfortable with him in my house when I'm not there. So cool your jets outside. I'll be there when I get there. But know this: your girl is ON FIRE. For real. He really doesn't seem to understand what I'm saying. Please understand the words that are coming out of my mouth: I do not want you and your nigger essence (please send all complaints to Uncle Ruckus at The Boondocks, NOT ME) in my environment.

DAMMIT.

I am AFLAME. Pray for his life.

Fistfight Friday

Back story: I live in a condo that I rent from my girlfriend. We're friends because I used to be in a serious relationship with her brother. Lost him, kept her. Haven't seen him since her wedding last summer. We're talking again and finally getting our old friendship back, but I am finally over my romantic feelings for him. Now his sister and her husband bought a new house and are sending some movers over on Friday to get some of her stuff from my place. The agreement was that her father (who's here because she just had her first baby this week) and the movers would be at my place between 8:30 and 9 a.m. Straight?

Well, last night ex-bf and I were talking on the phone about the new baby when he says, "you know we'll be there Friday, right?"

**silence**

When I regained my voice, I said, "we who?" and he said, "me, my dad, and the movers."

**silence**

Why are you coming to my house? If your sister is paying movers, why do you AND your dad need to be present? Did I ask why you're coming to my house? Who said that was okay? And who was gonna tell me?

**wahhhhhhhh!!!**

I don't want you here! I haven't seen you since last June! Bishop has a key to my house... what if he were there sleeping and you just waltzed your ex-boyfriend ass through the door? He would think that I knew all along and didn't tell him. I know that's what I would think! And he isn't too keen on you anyway. Laugh if you want, but you don't want it with him, I PROMISE. But besides all that: I don't want you in my space. In my home. In my face.

So I asked him not to come. Was that wrong?

More Pharmacy Follies

Its no secret that I'm looking to leave CVS. And since I've decided to both pray on it AND act proactively, I have formulated a list of things that I would like to do and/or say on my last day/night here. Interested? Good...

1. "Hell no I will not page your doctor at 10:30 p.m. because you need a refill on your birth control pills. Shoulda stayed more on top of that pill pack instead of that man! Now beat it."
2. "You seriously think that I'm a racist? Well, hold on... let me dust off my Klan hood and REALLY give your little ass a show!"
3. "What? A complaint? My supervisor? Supervise DESE NUTS!!!!"
4. "Wipe down all countertops and vacuum the floors? Take out the trrash? Um... you did get the memo, right? Ms. Celie wasn't really REAL. That was a movie."
5. Just because your brilliant powers of deduction have told you that I got a new weave doesn't mean you have to work the word "weave" into EVERY goddam conversation we have. FUCK!!!!
6. "Why is the drive thru closed? To encourage lazy motherfuckers like YOU to get out of the car and walk 100 feet into the pharmacy to get your weight loss prescription. Orka. Now drive your ass on THRU!!!!"
7. Mix all the different strengths of Percocet into one pretty rainbow-colored bowl and dispense from that.
8. Hold a Viagra/Levitra/Cialis auction in the parking lot.
9. Tip over every shelf in the pharmacy, thereby forcing the staff to ACTUALLY alphabetize zolpidem under "Z" instead of "A" for Ambien.
10. No the fuck you wouldn't get your prescription any faster if Jennifer was here. Yes, someone is working back here and will be with you just after she finishes helping the FIVE other people who are ahead of you. And NO you CANNOT have "just two tabs" until we fill your prescription because you're running late for work. Now BEAT IT!!!! Thank you, you're the best!

TMI Tuesday (on Thursday)

Forgive me, bloggers, for I have sinned. It has been 8 days since my last post. My penance? More unsolicited information about my life, courtesy of Organized Noise (just paid my cable bill, so next time I'll be able to link that up for ya!).

1. What is the worst/corniest pick up line someone has used on you and/or you used?
Honestly, guys don't try to pick me up, so... I couldn't say.

2. Have you ever gone out on a date with someone and went home with someone else? Explain.
Not a date. But I did go to a party back in '99 with one person and when we found out it was cancelled, I ended up going home with someone else (the now infamous ex bf).

3. What is the worst thing (spread a rumor, hook up with their SO, etc...) that you did to a friend? Did they do anything to deserve it?
I'm good to my friends... always.

4. What is your favorite sex scene in a regular movie (not porn)? Why?
Jada and Blair in "Set It Off," Jada and Allen in "Jason's Lyric" (the scene outside in that field), Sanaa and Wesley in some HBO film (I think) I saw once where he had her pushed up against the refrigerator... **whew!!**

5. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? What would you change on your SO?
Physically I would bring my hair back to its original length. In terms of my personality... I would be more trusting. For Bishop... I would make him an inch or so taller. And I would make him more sensitive.

Bonus (as in optional): What countries, other than your own, have you had sex in? Was it someone on the trip with you? Someone from that country?
Puerto Rico. Just Puerto Rico. **sigh** I'm so lame.

Way TMI Wednesday

Way TMI Wednesday - The "No Sex" Edition

Since I never post these until Wednesdays, I both stole it AND changed the name! Way TMI Wednesday doesn't have much to do with sex today. Enjoy and feel free to answer these yourself.

1. Toilet paper: over, under, or what the hell are you talking about?
Over. It just seems weird to me if its over. Sometimes, I'll change it and make it under.

2. Toilet when you are done: everything up, seat down but lid up, everything down?
Seat down, lid up. I always forget the lid.

3. When was the last time you kissed someone not your significant other? [I am talking about a kiss with some gusto not just a little hello or goodbye peck]
That would have to be some time in the beginning of November.

4. Would you rather have your significant other (this can be a hypothetical S.O.) have sex with someone else or fall in love with someone else? [You have to pick one.]
I would say have sex with someone. If he fell in love with someone else there's probably no way I would be able to keep him. Love is a powerful thing.

5. If you had $1,000,000 to give away, how would you divide it up? Who and how much?
Let's see, assuming it was $1,000,000 AFTER taxes, the split would go like this:
10% of the PRE-TAX amount to the church. Tithing always comes first.
$150,000 for college fund for the stepdaughter
$150,000 for my student loans
$400,000 down towards our dream house
$150,000 for cars for both of us
$150,000 to invest

Bonus (as in optional): Tell us something that very few people know about you.
I'm not that interesting, so... okay. Here's one: I've had a sexual experience with a woman.

Oh and One More Thing...

I can't believe I left these off of my list... oh, and Wise (I think it was), the sad part is that I HAVE said one of these in the last 24 hours! Here we go...

If you ask me what time I'll have your prescription ready and I say "one hour," DO NOT ask me whether I think I can have it done any sooner. NO!!!!!! Otherwise I would've said sooner. Now beat it :)

"Compounds are done overnight, sir, so you'll have to get this in the morning." "So I can't wait for it? My child really has a bad diaper rash?" NOOOOO! OVERNIGHT. As in 3 a.m. As in NOT NOW. Do the 27 very irritated-looking people in front of you appear as if thy want to wait while I compound your child's diaper rash cream? **deep sigh**

Patient presents with two prescriptions, one antibiotic and one for the pain. And so he says, "Which one of these is for pain? Okay, gimme that one, then. I'll just wait on that other." Meanwhile, that chlamydia just kees on ragin.

"Is this CVS brand allergy relief the same as Benadryl?" (all said while carefully perusing the box that clearly states "same active ingredient as Benadryl")

"I'm sorry ma'am, but your doctor denied your request for more refills." "Well can't you just give me a couple to last me?"

Things I Be Wantin to Say When I'm Working the Overnight

Quit bitching! If you want to file a complaint, here's a card with my name on it. Now beat it!

If you're bringing in a prescription to be filled, that's "dropping off." So stand at the window that says "drop off," not "consultation."

Just because you're waiting in the store doesn't mean you have to stand in front of me and glare. FYI, that makes me move slower.

If the sign says, "please come inside," then bitch COME INSIDE!!!! Don't sit in the drive thru, you won't get helped!

If I'm texter 96 and 98 and you're looking for 97, just give me the damn tickets, PLEASE!!

You stink. Please don't stand so close to me.

You're fired. Now go tell your little terrorist friends that shit in your language!

It's GENERIC not GENETIC! And for the 365,396th time, YES it's the same!

YES someone is back here! You don't have to run up front and tattle to the night shift supervisor because you walked up and didn't see me in the first three seconds. Snitch.

No, we do not have methadone 10 mg #360. At least not for you. And not tonight. So beat it. Now.

Yes I'm reading a book. Yes it's "Roots." Yes it's good. No I'm not planning an uprising. And no, I haven't seen the movie.

I WANT SOME BEYONCE TICKETS!!!!!!!

Wanna Peek?

Saw this on another blog, and liked it. If you're not interested in the detaiils of my sex life, skip this post. But if you are (and you wanna play too)...

Copy this entire list to your blog. BOLD everything that is true about you. Leave plain anything that is not true about you. Put an asterisk next to anything you would like to be true. I can't do special fonts on my Sidekick, so bear with me :) (you'll probably have to reformat a bit)

HAVES
1. I sleep better after sex.
2. There are some nights I cannot sleep without sex or masturbating.
3. I like being choked during sex.
4. I have had phone sex.
5. I have watched more than one gay/lesbian porn video.
6. I have given/received a facial.
7. I think we should do more to understand the cultures of sex.
8. I would participate in sex research given the opportunity.
9. I currently have a "crush" on someone of the same sex.
10. I want to have sex with someone on my blogroll.
11. Some people might describe me as a nymphomaniac.
12. I am difficult to live with if I'm not having sex on a regular basis.
13. I sleep better with someone snuggled up next to me.
14. I have had sex under water.
15. I have given sex as a gift.
16. I have made a video having sex.
17. I have taken nude pictures
18. I have had more than one partner in a 24 hour period
19. I have taken a trip longer than an hour just for a booty call

HAVE NOTS
1. I have had sex while wearing a blindfold.
2. I have blindfolded someone else during sex.
3. I have had sex while watching porn.
4. I have had sex while surfing porn on the Internet.
5. The bed is NOT my most favorite place to have sex.
6. I am turned on knowing someone is watching me masturbate.
7. I have had sex knowning someone else was watching.
8. I have masturbated for someone over a web cam.
9. I have had sex over a web cam.
10. I have had a one night stand.
11. I have been tied up during sex.
12. I have dripped wax onto a lover's body.
13. I have had a lover drip wax onto my body.
14. I have a foot fetish.
15. I have a leather fetish.
16. I have a tickle fetish.
17. I enjoy nudie magazines.
18. Erotic toys are a regular part of my budget.
19. I think PLAYBOY is tame, maybe even boring.
20. I have clicked on porn links in my email.
21. Much of what I know about sex comes from porn.
22. My current lover does not sufficiently meet my sexual needs.
23. I am often disappointed in my sexual relationships.
24. I have had sex in the snow.
25. I am in a polyamorous relationship.
26. I have to have music playing while having sex.
27. I have flashed strangers.
28. I have set-up a three-way for my lover.

WOULD LOVE TO'S
1. I am a member of the Mile-High Club.
2. I stopped during this list to have sex.
3. I have had more than ten orgasms in one night.
4. I have had sex at my place of employment.
5. I have erotic art on display somewhere in my residence.
6. I have had sex with someone who was tied up.
7. I have watched a couple have sex.

You've Come A Long Way, Baby

Many of you were around last November when I met the Bishop (I'd put the link here, but TMobile says "be thankful you're blogging at all, picky bitch"). Well, now here we are 8 months (and 8 days) after our first date, still laughing at each others' silliness and planning our lives together. And none of this would be if it weren't for today. On July 27, 2006, the love of my life lost the love of his. Forever. She was here one minute and the next, she was gone. After 14 months of marriage and a week after a cruise to celebrate their first anniversary, she was gone.

When I met him, he seemed okay on the outside. But it was in those quiet minutes between laughs that never really reached his eyes that I could see how deep his pain was. He was determined not to let the loss of her life mean the loss of his, but he just seemed so... shook. So I heard him claim to want to date me with my ears, but pushed him away with my heart. He wasn't ready. It was too soon. What would people say? Time and prayer have shown me that people enter your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime, and whatever God's plan was for their marriage, He had a different plan for me.

And so now it is July 27, 2007. What a difference a year makes. Now he laughs with his eyes. Now he says her name and he doesn't tense up or look away. Now he visits a little less ooften and returns a little less burdened. Now he says "when" instead of "if." I still see her picture. She still lives in his heart. But I finally realize now that so do I, and there's room for both of us. So rest in peace, SJB. I know you loved him first, and I can only hope that you too have found peace in Bishop's new life. He's happy again, but not because of me. I've been here and I've loved him through his journey, but you gave him what he needed to be the man who stands on his own today.

On the Drive to Work

Yeah, okay. So I'm late on this too, but so what? But the "Same Girl" remix feat. T Pain, though? WOW. I just... I just can't.

So everyone's favorite party girl, Lindsay Lohan got arrested AGAIN for DUI and cocaine possession (sorry again, newsies, but I work nights and NEVER stuff like the Today Show). But what I LOVE about this story is that when they pulled her over and questioned her about the cocaine (that incidentally was in HER pocket!!), she said, "it isn't mine." **SIGH**

Hahahahahahahahahahah!!!!!!

That is SO gangsta... I just love it to pieces. That girl has a serious problem. It would be sad if it weren't so damn funny. Hahahahahahahah! It wasn't mine. Hahahahahahahah! I'm pregnant. But its not my baby... even though you found it nestled comfortably and afloat in my uterus. Again, hahahahahahahahahah!

That is all.

TMI Thursday (cause I'm always a step behind)

As usual, I grabbed this from someone else. Think I'ma make it a regular.

1. Lace or silk?
Lace. I just think it's so sexy to look at. But silk feels so good on my skin :)

2. Do you subscribe to (or regularly buy) any "dirty" magazines? Which ones?
No ma'am. I just always thought they were silly.

3. Have you ever had sex in the water (tub/pool/lake/ocean)?
Oh yes, if the shower counts. But I didn't enjoy it much. A Black woman and her hair in a hot ass shower? Not so much...

4. The three words that best describe you in bed are...
Loud, passive, insatiable.

5. The three words that best describe your most recent partner in bed are...
Strong, complete, INSATIABLE.

6. Did you lose your virginity as an impetuous youth, "to prove that you loved him," because of a romantic gesture, a newlywed, or other?
Other. It was my 20th birthday and I was tired of being a loser.

****BONUS ROUND****

Name three words that:
Get you excited: baby turn over
Make you squirm: it won't hurt
Make you laugh: dammit Anna Mae!!

A Change Gon' Come

Throwback song for yall who insist that I'm so old :)

I don't really want to go too deep into this, but I need a new wind to blow through my life. Things haven't been going too great for someone close to me, and I just hope that our prayers are answered soon. God never gives you more than you can handle, but sometimes it's so hard to remember that! I feel like something really good is just around the corner, so... we'll see.

2:34 a.m.

Boredom. Breeds random thought. I'm really starting to think that I'm schizophrenic. Fifteen minutes ago, I was crying and blowing my nose into some cheap ass store supplied tissue. Now I'm just fighting sleep. So here are the words of a sleep-deprived pharmacist.

* If the sign says "please come inside," why, then, do you insist on sitting in your car in the drive thru and pushing the button? I'm not coming! Bring your lazy ass INSIDE!!
* How do I stop being such a distrustful and suspicious person? How do I stop my mind from wandering to that place just because he's not answering his phone?
* I can't wait to get married and have a baby. I always laughed at the dumbass idea of some biological clock ticking away, but I repent. I hear it. Daily. And La, if that means that I'm swapping cookie recipes and camping out for the 2013 version of Harry Potter, then so be it :)
* I want a new car. Actually, I'd prefer a truck. Just something to outwardly reflect the way I feel when I'm driviing. Thirty. Beautiful. Successful. Fly.
* I love him. And I'm really starting to have faith that he loves me too. I think we're going to make it.
* I can't wait until September when school starts. Little Miss "I'm 13 now" is about to get WRECKED. I mean I'm going into that school like a one woman wrecking crew. Eighth grade is gonna feel like educational boot camp before I'm done!
* I really hope Bishop understands how important my birthday is this year. I don't care what the gift is, I just want him to make a fuss.
* Women are bitches. More on that later if my thumbs don't get too tired.
* No, I haven't forgotten about updating the great adoption saga. There just hasn't been any more news.
* If you were so irresponsible as to wait until the night before you leave the country to refill your asthma medication that has run out of refills and needs a doctor's approval, then yes, you do deserve to die over there. I'l send flowers on behalf of CVS.
* Butchy lesbians simply are not sexy. Ever.

Memories

Oh. I really miss her today. More today than yesterday. Hopefully more today than tomorrow. I miss her perfume. 360 by Perry Ellis (I think?). I miss her big brass bed with all of the pillows. I miss that raggedy blue scarf she tied over her rollers at night. Until she didn't need rollers anymore. Then she just went to sleep. I miss her flair, her style, her grace, her panache. Dana Buchman, Ellen Tracy, Ferragamo, Fendi. I miss seeing the shoe boxes in the kitchen cabinets and the purses in my old trophy case. I miss her jewelry cases full of big, bold earrings and chunky necklaces that somehow never overshadowed her petite frame. I miss her familiar phrases, her laugh which I almost can't hear anymore. I miss her discipline, even her anger. I miss her phone number, her voicemail, her address. I miss her car and her impossibly junky trunk. I miss her books and papers, knicknacks, and keepsakes. Her peace and faith. Her love and concern. Her determination.

Dammit. I miss her. It just makes me so sad sometimes. She would be so proud of me. And she would love him because he loves me. Crazy how it just sneaks up on me sometimes.

I'ma Hit This Bitch with My Umbrella ella ella

So today is not starting off well. I had an 8 o'clock hair appointment in the city today. I stayed up until 3 a.m. this morning watching "Apocalypto" (great flick, by the way), and I was supposed to get up by 5 to catch the train (SO didn't happen!). I ended up having to drive in which took an hour, and then I paid $18 to park my car. So when I casually saunter up to the salon (which I had been calling since 7:45 with no answer), I ring the buzzer and.... no answer. I call again. No answer. I walk across the street to buy some tea and fruit. I walk back to ring the buzzer again. No answer again. I call Tina's (my stylist) cell. No answer. I leave a very puzzled message. Finally at 9:30 she calls me back and says that there must be some mixup because I'm not on the book for today. **1st trimester pregnant pause**

WHAT??????? How could I not be on the book if I got not one, but TWO voicemails confirming my appointment? Okay, fine. So what can we do about YOUR RECEPTIONIST'S screw up? Apparently nothing because Tina has an emergency with her daughter and is actually cancelling all of today's appointments anyway. **second trimester pregnant pause**

WHAT??????? I have two dates this week and only one more day off. My hair hasn't SEEN the inside of the Tina Pearson Salon in four weeks. I had a specific (and very jazzy, I might add) hairstyle in mind that only Tina can accomplish. And she's not coming in? **sigh** But she offers to have her assistant do it for me since she's due in at any minute (did I fail to mention that all of this is taking place as I stand perched on the very busy, noisy, and CREMATORIUM-ishly hot corner of 65th Street and Lexington Avenue? Riiiiight.). **third trimester pregnant pause**

And so here we are. I am getting the same old tired straight Rihanna-esque bob hairstyle that I've been rocking (albeit very stylishly) for the last two months. What a waste of a perfectly good, well planned out, beautiful day.

Fuck.

Hey- It Beats Selling Ass on St. Georges Avenue

I think the nightshift has finally gotten me. I just agreed to the craziest shit I have ever heard in my life. For the month of August, I will be working 12 nights in a row with two days off. Then work another 12 nights. Yes, folks. 24 nights with 2 nights off. The whole month. **sigh** All this because a girl needs to pay some bills! This blogging from my Sidekick and missing Soapnet ish because my cable bill is stupidly high has got to stop. So 24 nights. One weekend off. $10,000. I must be high. Jesus wept (sorry, Victoria, but that is just too funny not to copy!).

Over the River and Through the Woods... and the Swamp and the Interstate and...

Last week was my week off, so I got the brilliant idea to take a road trip with my honey and his daughter. **sigh** and so it begins.

We left Monday morning when I got off at 11 a.m. I had just worked a 12 hour overnight shift @ CVS and was WAY too tired for any bullshit. Thirteen hours later we get to Jacksonville, Florida and I am already trying to resist the urge to walk to the airport and book the first thing northbound. It is raining and it is 4500 degrees and there are gators (cause in Floriday they can't possibly be "alligators") ambling slowly across the street at every corner. Emani is driving me BATSHIT with her "are we there yet?" foolishness because she just can't bear the idea that her father is paying attention to me and not her. And I am TIRED. Tuesday morning we go to Clearwater to drop Mani off at her mother's house. **wow**

Myra is 41 years old with a 24-year-old daughter, an 18-month-old grandson, a fiance but no engagement ring, three ex-husbands, and PLATINUM BLONDE MICROBRAIDS. **wow** She opens the door with, "Hi! I'm Emani's mom!" You're kidding.... I really had NO IDEA where we were leaving my boyfriend's daughter to spend the summer **duh**

We got back to Eric's twin's house in Jacksonville at 2:30 a.m. where we were greeted with her husband's cousin, his wife, and their two HOLLERIN children. At 2:30 in the morning. When I was trying to sleep. Riiiiiight. Wednesday afternoon we wake up and leave for his parents' house in Savannah. They were in California and so we were going to stay at their house for the rest of the week. But wait!!!! Bishop left they key in New Jersey. NEW JERSEY. Not Georgia. So we have to stay with his uncle and his new wife. YEAH!!! I got to spend the whitest holiday of the year standing outside in 7600 degree heat with 99% humidity watching colored fireballs in the sky. DOUBLE YEAH!!!

Thursday we went sightseeing in Savannah along the riverfront and... **this is for you, Jam** we ate at Lady and Sons. PAULA DEAN!!!! TRIPLE YEAH!!!!!

Friday morning we drove up to NC, then Friday night to Hampton. Saturday morning we drove to Kings Dominion. Sunday morning at 3 a.m. we got back to Jersey. And Monday night at 7 p.m. I came back to CVS to start it all again. QUADRUPLE YEAH!!!!

This One's Gonna Sting A Bit

Sweeeeeeeeet!!!! I'm back in there. Blogger and Tmobile have finally seen fit (for who knows how long) to allow me to blog again. I lost a VERY long, detailed post about the great adoption update, and I have NO recollection of what all was in it. So I'm gonna take this one in a very different direction. True story, pt. 1.

"Sorry 4 the random text. But there's some stuff I gotta tell u. Are u busy?"
"No. What's up?"
"Ok..... what happened?"
"What happened with what?"
"Um, I guess us. What happened with us? One minute everything is going fine and then..."
"I mean I just figured that you were going through one of your usual things where you were mad at me and it would blow over. But I called several times and you never called me back, so I figured I'd wait you out a bit."
"That's because I deleted your number from my phone."
"You did WHAT? But I didn't do anything to you! Why would you do me like that?"
"Listen, okay? A nigga was tryin to heal. I was a little bitter."
**sigh**
"I never meant to hurt you. I apologize if I did. I didn't realize."
"Its nothing to apologize 4. I guess I just want to know what convinced u I wasn't the one 4 u and he was. I just wanna be friends. I guess I'm looking for closure."
"YOU convinced me. You said you didn't want me. You said we were just cool. And to be honest, I kept trying to make you see me as something more. It wasn't until you chose to..... with Lady of Rage instead of..... during..... weekend that I realized that you didn't care about me and he did. So I gave him a chance."
"So basically I pushed you straight into that nigga's arms? I delivered you right to him. DAMMIT! I guess I never took the relationship seriously."

Who Am I?

You are tall like me. We both have long thick hair. My eyes are brown too. Are you her? Basketball? That's my favorite sport also. Size 11? Yeah, my feet are pretty big. Are you him? You laugh like me. I danced when I was younger too. Do you have a sister? Maybe... nah, couldn't be.

I was always loved and cherished and spoiled and beholden. At least at home I was. I never felt less than or different or out of place. At least not while I was at home. My aunt never quite treated me equally, though. She was always trying to undermine my family relationships. She was always trying to downplay my accomplishments. She was always jealous. She always tried to pass that on to her daughter as well. And for a while it worked. For a while I fought my mother. For a while I allowed my aunt's hatred to infiltrate me. I doubted my mother, I shut her out, I ran away. But I always came back. And eventually, we won. We survived. We laughed. We loved. Each other. Deeply. I was hers. HERS. Not the adopted child of another. Hers.

But now there's news. "Those" people are more than just an abstract concept. They know me. They've watched me grow. We've crossed paths. They live in Hampton Roads too. Just like me. But I don't know them. Watching me. Learning about me. But never approaching me. How? Why? And now my mother is gone. But still nothing. No words. No letters. No unknown people at the funeral. Who are these people? Do I know them like they apparently know me?

Well I'm on a mission to find some answers. By this afternoon, I need to know. And I know just who to ask. So... stay tuned, I guess.

Hodgepodge

So I'm bored to death. Literally to death. I'm actually in a coma right now, but I'm still able to blog because I'm just that hot. I apologize in advance for the randomness of this post, but I'm sleepy.

Joy, sorry about not getting back to you with that post about the tattoo yet. My internet is out, so I'm blogging from the Sidekick and my pictures are on my computer. Hopefully I'll be up soon.

The DMV is the devil. Just found out that my license is suspended in not one, but TWO states. Goody. So now I have to pay almost $650 to get that bitch reinstated. Double goody.

Not too much longer on this night shift. CVS never pays me correctly and I'm turning into a vampire. So I posted my CV online and am seriously considering an offer I got yesterday to go back home and work for Walgreens. A bitch is tired and I need sunlight before I become tranparent!

How come people don't call you back when you KNOW they see your number on their missed calls list? And then when you ask them whether they've gotten your messages, they say, "um yeahhh... just been busy, man." Okay. I get it. I've been replaced.

Why is family such a heartache? No... that's my next post. Maybe around 5 a.m.

I love him to pieces. But I would like to choke his daughter out from time to time. Why does a 13-year-old have a myspace page saying she's 17? And why does said 13-year-old get a phone call on her cell at 12:19 a.m.? FROM A BOY? And why do I have to physically restrain him from slapping her off the 3rd floor balcony while he's yelling, "I will NOT have a fast ass daughter!" Whew! Messing up my fresh manicure and whatnot...

Maybe more later. I have a customer. **smooches**

Jarrod's Turn

1. If you couldn't express yourself with words, what you use?
Oooh. That's a good one, J. To know me is to know that I am HEAVILY dependent on words, written and spoken. But if I couldn't use them, I would use... you're killing me. I have no idea. Sign language, maybe? I'm a loser :(

2. You wake up and you're dead broke. Who do you call?
Bishop. I know he has my back.

3. Which of the five senses could you do without?
Smell. Who needs it? So many odors are unpleasant that I could DEFINITELY do without my sense of smell. I need my sense of touch because I'm such a touchy feely girl. Sight of course because I just can't imagine not seeing the people and things that I love. Hearing I need because I am just so damn nosey :) And taste. Well... you know.

4. What's the hardest thing you've ever had to admit to someone?
Man, honey. You're really in the mix on this one. Umm... that I was pregnant.

5. Is Ne-Yo's album really that bad?
Um... it so is. And I'm out. But before I do, can you PLEASE answer my questions?

Jameil Walters, Pt. 2

Okay. So after I picked up my face and reapplied it to my head from reading the lovely Jameil's blog, I realized that I need to answer her follow-up questions.

1. What is your goal for your life?
Well... I want to be happy. A long time ago, I thought that meant wealth and "stuff." But after personal loss and reevaluation of my priorities, now all I want is love. I want to be a wife and mother. Period.

2. What would you consider personal/professional achievements?
Personal - see #1. I want to live the kind of life that would make my mother proud. Professional - I want to find my niche in pharmacy. Hopefully consulting for a large company. I just want people in my field to think of me and say, "she's on her game."

3. When Garfield broke up with you, did you think that you would never get married?
Yes. Yes. Yes. Absolutely yes. He was the love of my life. I prayed for him. When he made the choice to move forward, I was devastated because I saw my future in his eyes. I was CONVINCED that I would never get married. But now.... it's all good.

After Much Ado.... The Boonopolis

My God, I am OD'ing on blogger today. I really need to be in the bed right now because I haven't slept in almost 40 hours. But I wanted to FINALLY give a face to a name. Here are some pictures of Bishop. Shout out to my boonopolis, sigh.

Interview by Lala La La La La

Oh Lord, I'm mixing that Rihanna song into my life again! DAYUM La!!! Were you monitoring my phone call last night? I was just having a conversation with a very good friend, and some of these EXACT topics came up! But I love it.... no offense, Jam, but I was kinda hoping for some more personal questions from you! Here we go...

1. What was the exact moment you realized you were in love with your current boonopolis?
My "current boonopolis?" Girl, are you high? When was that exact moment? I would love to say something terribly cheesy and romantic like I knew from the moment that I saw him, but that would be some bullshit. It was really rather basic. He asked me if I loved him, and I realized right in that very moment that I did. It wasn't that I hadn't thought about it before, but it wasn't until I heard him ask the question that I knew the answer.

2. What made you wanna be a pharmacist?
I actually never wanted to be a pharmacist :) I always wanted to be a doctor and never really thought about anything else. I was a premed major when I was in undergrad and then went straight to medical school. I just wasn't ready to be there and I did terribly. So I took some time off to reevaluate my options. Several of the girls that I had become friends with down in Chapel Hill were in pharmacy school there, and that planted the seed. I still didn't really want to do it because all I knew about being a pharmacist was counting by fives. But I really didn't have any other options that would keep me close to my original plan, so my mother suggested I apply to Hampton, and the rest is.....

3. Since we've been talking about Greek affiliations, correct me if I'm wrong but you're a Delta right? What made you choose DST?
You are ABSOLUJTELY right, I a Delta. Like so many other people, every woman in my family with whom I have any kind of a relationship is a Delta. I spent my childhood sitting in the back of her chapter and committee meetings when there was no babysitter, and all of her chapter Sorors used to call me "Sahrah Monique." So it seemed natural to want to go that route, but believe it or not, I did actually read up on the other organizations. Then I waited until my senion year and took the plunge.

4. This may sound like a stupid question but hear me out: are there times that you wish your mother hadn't passed away? Or has the experience been necessary to shaping you into the woman you are?
I wish that every day. But I also realize every day that it was necessary for me to grow up. I was a baby - mommy's baby- for my entire life. A lot of it was her and how overprotective she was, but it was also me. I loved being around her all the time, I throved on the constant pressure and encouragement from her... I just wanted to please her. But it wasn't until she died that I began to realize FOR REAL that I had to start living for myself. Thinking about it more, I realize that I don't actualy wish that she hadn't passed away because then that would mean that she would still be here in pain. She lived her life. She accomplished so many things and was loved by so many people. But most of all, she loved me, and I took that and moved forward. Dammit girl.... I was doing so good with this, now I'm all teary and stuff!

5. What prompted you to start blogging?
I met a guy that I liked and he had a blog. One day he let me read it (I don't remember how we got on that topic), and I liked the idea. I already loved to write, so I saw it as an opportunity to air my thoughts out without actually seeing the people who were reading it. I got hooked, so thanks PYT :)

************************************************************************************
I'm loving this interview thing... anybody else????

Interview with a Vampire

Damn, I can be so clever sometimes! Here are my responses to Jameil's interview questions (see her blog for details) at 5:46 a.m.... I'm doing this from my Sidekick, so I can't see the original wording of the questions and I'm paraphrasing. Hope that's cool.

1. What's the craziest thing you've ever done?Oh, you mean besides saying yes to this damn job? Well, I would tell you, but what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

2. You get on a plane. Where do you go?Bora Bora. I am DYING to go there, but I'm trying to hold out for a really fabulous honeymoon.

3. You don't say much about your dad. What's your relationship with him?My mom adopted me when she was 34 (1977) and single. So by the time she met (1981ish) and married (1984) my dad, we were already Thelma and Louise. Plus my dad has always worked these crazy third shifts, so we only saw each other when he picked me up from school or on the weekends. He was always the more lenient parent and the one who always gave up the money. We're cool. He takes care of things and I appreciate him for that.

4. Last year, Hampton's Homecoming sucked. If you go this year, how would you make it better?
From what I understand, doesn't it ALWAYS suck? I have never really done the homecoming thing from either a student or an alumna perspective because I grew up there. My mom and I were huge football fans, so we'd go to the bazaar, tailgate, go to the game, then roll out. Even now, that's all I really do. I wasn't an undergrad there, so I don't really go to catch up with people. And the parties... not for me. Sorry! I'm such a lame :(

5. Which stores do you shop at? If you had unlimited, which ones would you hit up?
My favorites right now are Banana Republic, H&M, ann Taylor, Nine West, and Nordstrom, Whole Foods, and Stop 'n Shop (ever the foodie!). If I were wealthy? My goodness... Bergdorf Goodman's, Neiman Marcus, Bloomingdales, Tiffany, Bottega Veneta, Gucci, Chanel, Louis Vuitton, Jimmy Choo, Cartier. Fendi... I'm CLEARLY a bit of a label whore, but the last six are strictly for accessories and shoes :)

If you want to get in on this interview thing, post your 5 in a comment, and I'll get right back to ya!

Jiggy? Maybe Not So Much

The barbecue... boo hiss. And that's all I have to say about that. Well maybe not all I'm gonna say, but... man. You can take the boogers out the hood, but you most definitely CANNOT take the hood out the boogers! Thanks to Bishop's cousin Greg for geting us on the guest list for such an affair as this. Okay, let's backtrack.

The Smith's live in Brynmawr, PA. Lovely house, PHENOMENAL property... maybe five acres of beautiful green grass, trees, tennis court, pool, basketball court, and stream separating them from the neighbors. The front gate is up on a hill, so you go down into the property. They had private massage tables set up in this gazebo and a woman doing facials, manicures, and pedicures by the pool. There was a tattoo artist also (real needles, folks). One of Will's sisters was the official hostess of the barbecue... whew! And moving on. Every hoodtastic friend she has met in her trek from West Philadelphia born and raised was there... EVERY one. But no Will and no Jada. Bar and food set up on the tennis court. Agaiin, no Will and Jada. **WAHHHHHH**

But the part that I saved for the end (and BY FAR the most remarkable) was this. There was a woman walking around with these long Patra braids. She was really skinny with capri pants and a tshirt. Nothing crazy here, right? Oh yeah- forgot to mention that she was wearing lucite heels and swinging from a pole. A POLE, people! At Will and Jada's house. Outside. In the backyard. Yeah. She was giving lessons on pole dancing and the fine art of the lapdance. **SIGH** No, I did NOT partake, before yall's silly asses even ask.

So after about two hours of barbecuing with nobody more famous than Cristal (like the champagne) the aforementioned "dancer" and Chris Paul the NBA player, Bishop and I decided to call it a day. As we're hiking up the hill to the street, lo and behold a Mercedes S550 and a Range Rover appear at the gate. "Honey," I say. "Let's see what other coonery might be arriving." So we wait and we FINALLY get our Black star power in the form of Tisha Campbell, Duane Martin, Lisa Raye. Will, and Jada. They get out and come over to greet the remaining few people there who weren't family. Jada and Will are CRAZY cool. Very casual and VERY much in love. It was a good vibe all around. They invited us in for drinks (it was getting dark out), so we got a chance to hang out for a second. Greg had to leave, and we didn't want to look like the losers who won't leave, so we left too.

And that, my children, was the barbecue.

Back on the Scene Crispy and Clean

I am such a slacker. I realized this as I was reacquainting myself with my blog family. Couples have broken up, people have new jobs, vacations have been taken... man, I am out of touch. But like I said earlier in the week, I'm back. With a vengeance. So if you start reading posts about the world's most random things, blame it on my need to really get back to blogging. Cuz I missed yall, man!

I started doing Grateful Wednesdays because I saw it somewhere and loved the idea. I'm bringing it back, but I'm also realizing that expressing gratitude ahouldnt be limited to just one day. So today I am grateful for...

My life, lately more than usual. Life is just so short, ya know? Gotta grab onto it.

Whoever it was that wised up and sent Paris Hilton back to jail. What a ripoff, right? "Medical issue," my ass. That bitch was scared of jail! Period.

The fact that my car is still running. Man, I REALLY need to take it in for some maintenance before it quits on me. Come on, September. I need a new ride!

Knowing somebody who knows somebody. That secondhand connection never fails to come in handy.

My love. I had forgotten what it was like to love and be loved like this. As La (I think it was) said recently, that Sunday kind of love. It's special. Difficult sometimes. Complicated at others. But it's love. He's my love. And I love him.

P.S. Has anyone else heard the remix of Rihanna's "Umbrella" with Chris Brown called "Cinderella?" Ella ella ella ay ay ay...... **SIGH.** I'm addicted to singing that and I don't even like the song really. "You can be my Cinderella under my umbrella. Ella ella ella ay ay ay." **Double sigh**

Gettin Jiggy Wit It

First off, PYT please turn off your hate sensor. This is for those who aren't yet familiar with how I plan to spend my Sunday afternoon. Now I realize that some may not be terribly impressed by my plans because they won't see the big deal. Others will feel that by blogging about this that I am showing off. Well, boo to both groups. It is and I am. So with that said..... I'ma break to the crib to change my clothes once more cuz I'm invited to a barbecue that starts at four.
If you're a woman or man of a certain age like myself, then you'll realize that that means I'm going to eat hot links and potato salad at Will Smith's house. YES!!!!! After I was JUST saying the other day how I need a famous person to have my number saved in their cell phone... I'm going to a cookout at the Fresh Prince's house! Yall know I'm starstruck, so I'm SUPER geeked. So now I'm off to find something to wear that doesn't scream H&M or Banana Republic, but also doesn't cause me to have to work an extra week to pay for it.
I. Am. So. Damn. Excited. Nananananana... gettin jiggy wit it :)

It's Too Damn Late

Nobody should ever be up this late and be required to be at an actual place of business! It is 2:35 in the morning and I am at the good CVS. I'm supposed to be off this week, but trying to be nice to someone (and needing the money), I agreed to cover their shift. So now I'm on the phone with a former classmate and fellow CVS employee, reminscing and simultaneously reintroducing you guys into what's going on in my life.
So I have been inspired by the growth of others, and I decided to get back on the wagon. I've said it before, but this time its on the level... I'm back. I've been busy with work, but even busier with.... ladies, are you ready? Falling in love. **twinkle, sparkle** Yes, it's true. Visions of weddings and honeymoons and houses and babies are dancing through my head. I haven't really said much about my new relationship because I was afraid to jinx it. Only now have I achieved some level of comfort where I feel good about sharing details of my personal life without worrying about some stupid anonymous blogger saying some hurtful bullshit.
So, you heard it here first: I am finally in love again. And it's sooooooo good (except when it's not!). Things have worked out with the Bishop wayyy better than I thought they would. He's eight years older than me, so that brings with it a whole new set of stuff. He can be QUITE set in his ways and sometimes I want to STRANGLE him! But he's teaching me how to communicate on a completely different level.
So I'm back. I'm working. I'm tired. But I'm in loooooooovvvvvve :) Smooches!!!!

Tuesday... Off Work and Loving It!!

For the record, I just want to let it be known that I am SO in love with being a pharmacist! Not the job so much, but th freedom that it brings with it. Do you know how good it feels to stop at the gas station and say "you can just fill it up, please" instead of, "umm... can I get 12.00 of regular?" Or waking up in the morning and knowing that you really don't have to face another day of doing scut work and getting yelled at by angry Hispanic people who have no desire to learn the King's English. Ahhhh... I's free now!!!!

But really, though... being a licensed pharmacist has brought a whole new dimension of peace to my life. I actually understand why I spent four years of my life in an overcrowded room with haters and bitches only to get out and make the professional equivalent of minimum wage. Now I smile when I think about pay day, not because I already have the money spent in my mind on rent and electric bill, but because I will actually have some money left in my account after I pay the bills. Wooosahhhhhhhhh... life is good.

Too Legit to Quit, Hey HEY!!!!!!!!

Hey guys, long time, no see...... I have been MIA because I have been crazy stressed out, but you will be pleased to know that I am finally, FINALLY licensed. You are reading the words of an official, legal, licensed in the state of New Jersey as a pharmacist. YIPPPPEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am no longer workin dirty :) I am the new overnight pharmacist at CVS in Rahway, New Jersey. So gone are the days of the overworked pharmacy student, the overstressed pharmacy resident, the angry and confrontational graduate intern. I'm in charge, bitches, so look out...............

Writing Again

I am watching you from across the room. You don't see me seeing you, but I am. I am seeing you from a different perspective. Not that of a casual person who is looking at another person. Not the perspective of an interested party observing the behavior of another. But as a woman looking at a man. Just that. Not a woman who is looking at a man hoping that he is looking at her. Not a woman looking at a man
trying to figure out what he is thinking. Just a woman looking at a man. Looking at him. Watching him. Connecting to him. And I see strength and perseverance and determination and pain and loss and sadness and weariness and struggle and disappointment and burden and strain. I see love and laughter and tenderness and gentleness and understanding and comprehension and awareness and just that intangible
thing that I call, "Oh yeah... I get it!" I am watching you from across the room.

I am thinking. Thinking myself into a migraine sometimes. What if he doesn't like me? What if I am not enough? What if I can't compete? What if I don't fit? What if I can't do it? What if I don't make it? What if I'm not supposed to? I think about that stuff. I think about what she would want. I think about whether or not she would approve. I think about how she feels. I think about whether we are hurting her. I think about whether or not we are hurting you. I am thinking. About. You.

I am remembering. Remembering the bad things that have happened. Remembering the taste of my tears... the taste of failure and regret and sadness and pain and loneliness and broken hearts and lies and deceit and unfulfilled promises. I am remembering those things because I want to feel them as a reminder to never make those mistakes again. To never fall for those people again. To never get involved
in those situations again. I am remembering the good things that have happened. Remembering the images of happiness... the images of laughter and love and smiles and kisses and support and hands and arms and fingers and lips and shoulders. I am remembering everything in between. Remembering her face when she said I love you. I am remembering her strength when she delivered the news. I am remembering her tears when she said that she would never leave me even though she knew it couldn't possibly be true. I am remembering her resolve and her courage and her fire and her determination and her resolve and her love and her life. I am remembering all of those things because all of those things are a part of me. I am remembering.

I am feeling so many things. I am feeling so many things that I feel full. Feeling challenged and questioned and motivated and pushed and supported. Feeling hope and optimism and impatience and antsy and nervous and sprung. Feeling frustration and anger and even rage every now and then. Feeling watched and judged and analyzed and maybe even a little disliked sometimes. I am feeling everything. I am feeling
you.

I am waiting for you. Waiting for you to understand. Waiting for you to get it. Waiting for you to be okay. Waiting for you to believe. Waiting for you to accept. Waiting for you to feel. Waiting for your laughter to finally reach your eyes. Waiting for your hands to really touch me. Waiting for your eyes to really see me. Waiting for you to know like I know. Waiting for you to fold up the barriers. Waiting for you to unlock the doors. Waiting for you to tell me even though you think you're already showing me. Waiting for the right time. Not when she is ready, not when they are ready. Waiting for you to be ready. Waiting for you to trust. Waiting for you to let me. Waiting for you to finish so we can start. I am waiting for you.

I am wanting. Wanting everything to be alright. For you. I am wanting you to want me. I am wanting you to watch me. Think about me. Remember me. Feel me. Wait for me. Want me. So...... do you?

Cinco de February-o

Remember when I would be bored at work during the weekend and post like fifteen times in one day? Well, this one's for you Jameil. Here are five things that you don't know (at least I hope you don't know) about me.

1. I want to get married in the next two or three years. I guess it probably makes sense if you know how old I am, but lately, I have really been feeling that pull.

2. I think Barack Obama is on CRACK for announcing his desire to run for President. Now before I start getting all this hate mail, let me explain. I am all for a Black man running for President of the United States. And not only that, I think Obama could potentially be that man. But I just don't think that he's ready. I honestly believe that he needs to wait it out until 2012 and regroup. Not because I think our country isn't ready for a Black President, but because I don't think that Barack is ready to be that President.

3. I am a little bit psychic. Not in a "CALL ME NOW!!!" Ms. Cleo kind of way, but sometimes I have dreams and a few days later, they come true. Every now and then I just have these really vivid dreams that play out in excruciating detail, and then before I know it, it happens exactly the way I dreamt it.

4. I'm afraid of bridges. Tall or short, long or short, bridges over water scare the LIFE out of me. When I was little I used to have these dreams where my parents got in an accident and drove off the Hampton Roads Bridge. Ever since then, I have been crazy afraid of bridges. And it's crazy because I spent most of my life in a place where I had to travel over them to get practically anywhere and now I live in New Jersey. Bridge capital of the PLANET. Sigh...

5. Ooh I think I like him!!!! Enough of that.

New Post

Okay, okay. When a perfect stranger tells you that it's time for a new post, then dammit, I guess it's time! Hey yall.... long time, no see. All is well here in Jersey except for the fact that the damn "no traction" light in my car keeps coming on like I don't know that my tires are bald as a baby's ass and they are forecasting more snow and freezing rain like I drive a Hummer instead of a goddam Saturn and tomorrow is Valentine's Day and Bishop has completely forgotten and I forgot to get something for his daughter and my feet are THROBBING from working nonstop and.... WHEW. I had to take a breath. That was really it, but my face was turning blue from the run on sentence. But on the real... all is well. Those of you who are regular readers or at least who WERE before I climbed under my rock) know that I haven't really said much about Bishop lately. I have been biding my time; trying to figure out how much (if any) I really like him and whether or not he likes me. Well, we've settled the argument. Yes to the former and double yes to the latter. If you read the post about our first date, you know that I was wrestling with some things about him that I wasn't too sure out. But some time has passed and here we are. I think that Bishop actually gets me, and for the first time in a long time, that doesn't scare me. I used to go through this whole thing where I tried to make myself seem more complicated than I really was because I wanted a man to "figure me out." Whatever. He gets me and he likes me anyway. Now THAT is a good thing.

So here's to yet another Valentine's Day. This one isn't looking too, too good from here, but who knows... maybe the whole "I almost forgot tomorrow was Valentine's Day" thing was a cover and he actually does have something special planned for me. We'll see... happy love day, guys :)

Sometimes He Wonders

Sometimes I Wonder

I sometimes wonder if she knows
I sometimes wonder does it come across?
Does it show?

I sometimes wonder if she knows who it is that is
ineterested in her?
I sometimes wonder if she understands that this is a
man with the answer
The answer to that question in her heart and soul that
asks; when will she
be filled with the everlasting joy that can be felt
inside of her like the
warmth of beautiful sunrays that shines across her
face on a hot summer
day.

The answer to her heart and soul that asks; when will
she find the man who
will stimulate and seduce her mind like the feeling of
a soft gentle
feather
slowly caressing her body, or like the inviting
tingling sensation when the
cologne of a man that smells so good that it teases
the tastebuds of her
desire to feel his strong but gentle touch.

The answer to her heart and soul that asks; when will
she find the man who
complements her inner and outer being like the warmth
of glowing candles
surrounding her as she lays across the soothing scent
of passionate rose
petals that cascades her bed, or the warmth of a
beautiful laced wool woven
sweater that she snuggles into before heading for a
stroll on a cool winter
day.

Does she realize that I am the answer to all these
things?
I sit and ponder and as much as I wished that she does
I really don't know?
So "Sometmes I Wonder"

Realizations of A New Reality

Today is an interesting day. A day that immediately follows a VERY interesting evening. No, to all of you out there (all THREE or FOUR of you!), there is no gossip on THAT front. But last night was an eye opener.

I was so angry for so long. I imagined all of the ways that you would eventually pay for what you did to me. All of the things you wanted but would never get. All of the people you would love who would never love you back. All of the successes that would be within your grasp, but would be just far enough away for you not to reach them. But then I realized something. You didn't do anything to me. You didn't hurt me. You didn't violate me. You didn't leave me. You were simply true to yourself, and for that I should be grateful. So now here we are some months later, and I am at peace. Sure, I think about you from time to time. Sure I call to see how you are even though you never call me back. Sure I wonder who you're with and whether she is making you happy. But it's always a passing thought. The thought is no longer accompanied by tears or regret. It is no longer a preface to a night of sadness and reflection. And then you call me. Twice. In one day. Once at home and once at work. Twice. In one day. After months of silence and unreturned messages. No "Merry Christmas, Mo" or "Happy New Year, mama!" Just silence. And then you call. Twice. In one day. To tell me that you're coming back. Not back to me. Not back to us. But you're coming back. I'll no longer be protected from you by three time zones and two busy careers. I'll no longer be able to think of you as being in another country because in my mind, you are so far away. You're coming back. But the biggest surprise of all: I didn't react. I did't leap for joy. I didn't shake in fear. I didn't cry about the possibilities. I simply didn't react. I see it for what it is. A move that has nothing to do with me, but that you just wanted to share because it's big news in your life. And I am grateful for that. I am glad that you called me because I really did want to hear your voice. I am glad that called me because I really did want to know how you were doing. I am glad that you called me because I wanted you to know that I am happy now. Really. I am glad that you called me because I didn't want to believe that a friendship like ours could just shrivel up and die just because "I love you" took on new meaning. So I am glad that you called. I have missed you. But now I am at peace. I love you. But now I am not longing for you. I want to see you again some day. But now I have no expectations. Travel safely and with Godspeed. And don't stay in Iraq too long. We need you here.

Monique's Business is EVERYBODY'S Business!

Hey yall!!! The professional woman is BACK on the block. This ia, by far, the longest that I have ever been away from my blog la familia, and I MISSED YALL!!!!!! Nothing much has really been going on; just on that work grind. I have been keeping up with you guys from afar, I just haven't been chiming in too much. But in talking with a friend on the phone today, I see that- as usual- my name hasn't been too far out of peoples' mouths. Someone from school was saying, "Girl, Monique's business is EVERYBODY's business!" That's when I thought to myself, "You're right." Why am I hiding? I ain't doing nothing wrong, and in fact, all is right in my world. So I'm back to entertaining you guys again with the mundane details of my everyday existence.

I believe that when I was here last, I was giving you guys some updates on what was going on with big "first date" with Bishop. Well, it's month two, and he hasn't run away screaming just yet, so..... maybe there's promise. I have been a bit reserved because I am a little afraid to get too attached... I always seem to be waiting for the other shoe to drop. But things with Bishop are what they are... a fun way to spend my time and something to gossip about with the girlfriends :)

Merry Christmas

Hey blog family... sorry I have been away so long. I just never realized how few hours there are in a day when you are working six days straight of 12-14 hour shifts! I am working until Friday, and then I can enjoy the New Year celebration without concern of unpaid insurance claims, mixed up medications, and customer servicce nightmares for at least three days. I wasn't able to do my grateful Wednesday this week, so I figured I would just tell you guys what I am thankful for this Christmas.
- another year of life
- the hospitality of others who were willing to share their holiday and their family with me
- a fresh new hairdo... yall KNOW a sister couldn't go into the new year with old hair!
- old friends with new conversation
- new friends who call just to see what you're doing and then spend an hour on the phone playing Truth or Dare
- busybodies who really don't mean any harm; they just want to know EVERYTHING that is going on in your life!
- grandmothers who get better with age
- the memory of a mother who just plain ROCKED!
- fathers who, despite their faults, really do try to look out for you
- growth and evolution. That old thorn in my side is GONE, and I have never felt better! So Merry Christmas to you too :)
- Serendipity because I think Kelly and I might be hitting them up on Friday... hear they have the best hot chocolate in town
- Dreamgirls, even though I have to wait until Saturday to see it :(

Christmas Tag

1. Egg nog or hot chocolate? I LOVE me some egg nog. Spiked or not, doesn't matter... LOVE IT!

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? Santa? Who the hell is that guy? I haven't had a traditional Christmas like that in TOO long.

3. Colored lights or white lights on tree/house? Definitely white. My mommy always said that the colored ones were too busy, and as an adult, I tend to agree. In Jersey City they have wrapped the trees in these really beautiful periwinkle colored lights... those are cool too.

4. Do you hang mistletoe? Always thought that was exclusively for white people. But hey, I am half white, so I guess I should start embracing that side of my heritage... bring on the 'toe!!

5. When do you put up your decorations? I don't, but if I did, I would probably wait until about two weeks before Christmas. Trees and lights the day after Thanksgiving is just a bit too overwhelming.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? My mommy's macaroni and cheese. Hands down.

7. Favorite childhood holiday memory. The year that I got four Cabbage Patch dolls at the same time. My neighborhood was BUZZIN!!!

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I really have no idea.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? As a child I never did. Now I really don't get gifts, so I never have the option.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree? White lights and gold ribbons.

11. Snow: love it or dread it? Love to look at it, hate to drive in it.

12. Can you ice skate? I went ice skating in 2000 and tore two ligaments in my knee. Enough said?

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? Not really. I was an only child, so it was always so special for me.

14. What’s the most important thing to you about the holidays? Making sure that I speak to the people who matter the most to me, no matter where they are in the world.

15. What is your favorite holiday dessert?Egg nog.

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? We didn't really do the tradition thing. But the family that i spend holidays with now has a spades tournament at every family gathering, and that is RAPIDLY becoming my favorite thing. They have a trophy and everything :)

17. What tops your tree? I don't have a tree, but if I did, probably nothing.

18. Which do you prefer: giving or receiving gifts? I love to give gits, but it has been a while since I've received anything.

19. What is your favorite Christmas song? "Oh Holy Night"

20. Favorite Christmas movie? A Christmas Story. That little boy is HILARIOUS!

Delayed Date Details

Sorry, guys... I wasn't intentionally leaving the few of you who care out of the loop, but I honestly forgot that I never posted the date details. So now that I have been on several, let me tell you about the first.

Background: I go to a church where the pastor and first lady are close family friends. "Lady B" as the church folk call her (and my second mother) has made it her personal mission to find a man for me ever since I moved to New Jersey. So unbeknownst to me, she and her husband had approached this man (who will henceforth and forever more be called "Bishop" because my friend Jen thinks it's hilarious that I'm seeing a church goer) and asked him if he would be willing to meet me. Apparently he said yes, so one night after Bible study, she introduced us. I had actually noticed him at the church before, but felt a little funny about it because whenever I saw him, he was on his way up to altar call. You know, nothing says "heathen" more than having lustful thoughts while others are throwing themsleves on the mercy of the Lord at the altar during 10:45 service. So we chatted for a bit and he gave me his business card. Now me (having NO game whatsoever), put the card in my purse and proceeded to forget all about it. The next Sunday, I was gathering my stuff together after the service when I looked up and saw him standing in the aisle by my pew. He asked me what I was doing that day and I said "nothing." So then he asked me if I wanted to have lunch with him. Wowwwwwwww. I almost passed out (but I was afraid it would be mistaken for a delayed catching of the Holy Ghost, so I remained erect), but I managed to say "sure" with a somewhat confident and composed look on my face.

The date: So I followed him to a restaurant not too far away (I actually don't remember what it's called because I was so nervous!!!). We both parked in the parking garage where he proceeded to let me have the space closest to the exit (okay, I see you with the manners!). When we were walking through the garage and out on the street, he insisted on walking on the outside so that he would be closest to the traffic, and when we got to the restaurant, he held the door, helped me with my coat, AND pulled my chair out for me (and they say chivalry is dead). When I got up to wash my hands after ordering, he stood up from the table, and when I got back, he stood up again until I was back in my seat. At this point, things are looking up... I am having brunch with a handsome, older man who is very well mannered and quite charming. We chatted about our lives while we waited for the food to come, and I realized something very early on: older men don't have time for all the game playing. Now this may not be true for ALL older men, but this one definitely doesn't. From the minute we started talking, he was very open and honest about his life and where he is right now. Not too long ago, he lost his wife (she died of an asthma attack - does it get any sadder than that?) and he has a 12-year-old daughter who lives with him. Five years ago, that would've had me making a mental note to delete his number from my cell phone. But I have realized something very important in the last few years: everybody has a past and everybody has a story. Some are more interesting than others, and some are less benign than others, but we all have something in our past that others might not want to deal with. So if this is a Black man who is living as a single father, taking care of his daughter while owning his own business and attending church on a regular basis, then I'm not going to be so quick to hit that delete button, ya know? I won't bore yall with every little detail about the lunch, but it really was a lot of fun. We went into the restaurant at 2:00 and didn't leave until close to 6:00 (and for the one who I KNOW is reading this and snickering to himself, no, it wasn't like THOSE four hours! We were still in the restaurant). As we were leaving, we were talking about movies, and I mentioned that I wanted to see the new Denzel Washington movie that was coming out the next week. He said, "Oh, we should go! Are you free Wednesday night?" Well, I guess that was my cue that the date was a success. He was already making plans with me to go out again, and I didn't even have to wait that anxious week or so for the next phone call! We got to my car where he gave me the money to pay for the parking garage (MANNERS.... LOVE THEM!), and he said that he had a really good time. I was very interested to see how he was going to handle the goodbye, so I lingered by the car door with a little more conversation. Finslly I made some comment about how it was getting cold, and I really should be getting home. So he leaned over and kissed my cheek, and then said that he would call me Tuesday night to talk about the movie on Wednesday. And just like that... he was gone. About five minutes later, he called to make sure that I knew where I was and wasn't having any problems getting home.... sweet. Then later that night he sent me a text message that said, "I enjoyed the brunch and your conversation very much. I look forward to the movies on Wednesday."

The end.

SIGH. I went on a date. Yeah! And it was fun. Really fun. And I didn't die! And I didn't do anything too stupid and embarrassing! So here is what I have decided that I like about him in the 25 days since that first date...

He's handsome. Really handsome. He's older than me which I thought I would never want again. After the fiance, I swore off all oder men because I was conviced that the only reason they wanted me was because they were going through a midlife crisis! Bishop is 37, and for the most part he acts his age. But every now and then I catch a glimpse of the twenty-something Bishop, and it's cute. He's considerate. He calls when he says he's going to call, and he doesn't when he knows that he doesn't plan to. He checks with me to make sure that I have gotten home safely and he always asks me if I remembered to set my alarm for work. He's funny. Yall know how I love a comedian! Bishop isn't funny in a Dave Chspelle sort of way, but he's funny in a "Aw... that's funny" kind of way. He makes me laugh when he is being silly, but everything he does isn't funny. He is in love with his daughter. He is a very stern father, but I can really tell how much he cares about her. Single fathers are sexy, especially when there's no baby mama drama! He goes to church. I never realized that I cared about that before, especially since before I moved here, my attendance was sketchy at best. But Bishop talks alot about how church has changed his life, and how his relationship with God has opened doors for him that otherwise would've remained closed. I like to listen to him talk about his walk because it makes me more hopeful about my own. He loved his wife. I mean he REALLY loved his wife. He mentions her from time to time, and I can always tell how strongly he felt about her. He is still close to her mother (she lives nearby), and he still carries their wedding picture in his wallet. I would've been bothered by that, but I look at it like this: if I were married and then suddenly lost my husband, I can't IMAGINE how long it would take for me to remove that last piece of him from my everyday life. He talks sometimes about how hard it has been because he felt like he had finally learned how to be in a relationship and be the kind of husband that he should be. He was opening himself up to someone and allowing himself to completely share his life with her when he blinked and she was gone. Plus, he wanted to have more children and when his wife died, she was pregnant, so that was a double blow. I guess Bishop is not the kind of man I would've ever chosen to go after if I had known his story beforehand. But even though I didn't know about it, someone was trying to pull us together. Only he knows whether or not he is ready to move past his grief over losing his wife and look at another woman in a potential dating situation. But time will tell, I guess... for now, the brunch was fun. The movies was a good time (even though the actual film was a bit of a disappointment). More dates? Stay tuned...

Grateful Wednesday (Just on Thursday!)

Sorry guys... this new job has got me ALL to pieces lately, and I completely forgot to post yesterday. So this week, I am grateful for...

- Christmas being in a few days. Even though it's not the same anymore since I'm not a kid and my family is so far away, I still get mildly excited about the holiday.
- Pay day after I worked 50 hours. I have soooooooo many bills it is ridiculous.
- Puppies. My friend just got a new dog for his daughter, and he is sooooo cute :)
- Finding out that those who were always judging you have actually fallen a little short their damn selves. Karma's a bitch.
- Finding the money in my bank account to get a full tank of gas tonight before I ended up pushing my car over the Pulaski Skyway.
- Tasha finding an opening for me to get my hair done back home before Christmas, cuz my kitchen is ON FIRE!!!!
- 60 degree days in the middle of December (even though my friend SWEARS that it's influenza weather)
- Other peoples' blogs because they keep me up to date... I have really been slacking lately, but I am trying to do better.

Happy holidays blog la familia!!!!!

Grateful Wednesday

Although it is still a little early and I am procrastinating on getting ready for work, I decided to get my grateful list down first. Today I am grateful for
- Honesty.
- Having a job to go to even if it does involve standing on your feet for 12 hours straight.
- Having hair on my head even if I am ready to go INSANE waiting for the back to grow out!
- Tomorrow being my mother's birthday. Even though she isn't here with me anymore, it always gives me a whole day just to sit and remember what a phenomenal person she was.
- Season Five of 24 being out on DVD FINALLY even though I am so broke that it will be next week before I can cop that!
- First dates (and yes, I will eventually give you those details, I promise).
- The ability to recover from unexpected news with style and grace.
- I can't remember when I got the results in the mail, but I think it was after last Wednesday, so today I am grateful for passing the NAPLEX and being one step closer to getting my pharmacist license.
- Being the subject of conversation at the Hampton University Alumni Reception at ASHP in Anaheim. I LOVE having haters :)
- Trish's example... she's gone now, but I still read her stuff and learn something different every day.
- Strong Black fathers who take care of their responsibilities because they WANT to and not because they were ordered to.
- Friendship.

Well I NEVER!!!

I got this from Terrance, so if you don't like it, send him the hate mail, NOT ME!!! But I think it's pretty cool, so PLEASE participate or else I look like the lame-o with no blogger friends :)

You ever played that drinking game called "I Never" (reference an old episode of Girlfriends where Joan had never gone to a nude beach, so they all went and she ran into her DAD!!!)? Basically, you say something you never have done, and if the people playing with you have done it, they have to take a drink. I wanna try something a little different on the blog. I am going to say something that I have never done and if you have done it then I need you either to tell us about it on your blog or in the comments section. Please be sure to let us know that you posted about it. Also, once you have answered truthfully, it is your turn to say something you have never done. It'll be either fun, or incredibly annoying. I'll start off with 3 things I have never done. Let's see how far we can spread this across the blog community.

I never had a one night stand.

I never went to Africa.

I never skinnydipped.

If you did it, tell us all about it. And then give me an "I Never" and I will write about them later in the week. Have fun!!!!

Celebrate Good Times, COME ON!!!!!!!!!

Well, well, well.... the long awaited NAPLEX results have arrived, and I, friends and neighbors, HAVE PASSED!!! Goody gumdrops and all that other stuff. NAPLEX, done. Nest up is the New Jersey law exam. And then.... I'm done.

The Centennial

Hey yall... I am soliciting ideas for my 100th post (this is #92). Seems like I should write about something meaningful and deep to commemorate the occasion, but I do that on any regular day (I think!). Any ideas??????